I am a 28-year-old bloke who was a virgin till recently when I met a great girl. But since meeting her a can’t get a complete hard-on, not even when going solo. Is it just nerves, or should I go get myself checked out?

If it’s only started happening since you lost your virginity, then it’s probably nerves. If you found the first time anxiety-producing, which is normal, and that meant your erection was less than firm, then chances are you’re suffering from on-going performance anxiety so that any sexual act, even solo, is causing the same result. The best solution is to lower your expectations and relax. Rather than thinking about your performance and how well you’re doing or not and what she’s feeling or not, just relax and enjoy the sensation of your partner’s body (or your own). It’s not just about the penis. Focus on the play and the pleasure not the performance. Spend plenty of time on touch and kissing and playing rather than intercourse so that you’re relaxed and happy and your penis will probably do it’s thing just fine.

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