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Informative, inspiring and entertaining weekly articles on everything to do with positive sex, love and intimacy, by Jacqueline Hellyer, one of Australia's leading experts on sex and relationships.



Valuing the Feminine

03 - Aug - 2010

Available as a podcast: download here!

I believe we strongly undervalue the feminine in this society. It’s a theme I deal with over and over again. Yes, we had women’s liberation in the 70s, and that was a great thing which has led to a definite improvement in the status of women. So far so good. But…to achieve that status women had to prove that they could be like men, which they did. That’s fine, but what it did was show that women could be masculine and meet masculine values. It didn’t raise the value of the feminine. Which is why several decades on women have to be like men to succeed in society, i.e. embody the masculine.

Now everyone does have masculine and feminine in them, and a well-developed person will have a pretty good balance within themselves. But the essence of each is different, and if we reject one thinking the other is somehow better then we reject a major aspect of ourselves. (The new age snags are the reverse version of this.)

The essence of the feminine is to be soft on the outside and strong on the inside. In fact it’s only by being soft on the outside that your inner strength that emanate. Otherwise as a woman you’re creating a false strength on the outside, which is hard to sustain, is brittle and prevents your true strength from blossoming and showing.

So much of my work with women is essentially around this. It sounds esoteric, but once you ‘get’ it it makes such a difference at so many levels. 

I want to stress that I am NOT talking about women being soft and weak and pathetic. That people think that’s what I’m talking about is just proof that our society devalues the feminine. It is strong to be soft. We need more of the feminine in this society. We need women to embrace their essential selves.

You can then express your femininity in many different ways – I’ve come up with 10 different feminine archetypes, many of them very strong (Dominatrix, Vamp, Ice Queen, Amazon). There is no limitation in how you express yourself as a woman. The important thing is that you be real and embrace the power and glory of being a woman.



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