The Love Life Blog: sex advice for real people. 


A History of Sexual Misinformation

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, March 25, 2018



Why is our society so sexually screwed-up?

Basically,it’s because we’ve had two to three thousand years of sexual suppression.

During these millennia two very damaging myths have been held as truths in western society:

  1. That sex is a base, animalistic activity, as opposed to spiritual and ‘higher’ human endeavors; and
  2. That men are innately more sexual than women.
These myths have been so strong for so long, that they are still very much part of our communal psyche. It’s only in the last few decades that society has begun to shift on these myths, which is a relatively short time compared to how long those myths have been there, so progress on change is slow.

The first myth, that sex is a ‘low’, animalistic activity not a ‘high’ activity, has meant that sex has not been studied properly, has not been taught to our young people, has not been a topic of open discussion, and has not been considered a part of life that should be developed and enhanced.

This means that society’s knowledge of sex is very limited, and we are nowhere near achieving anything like our sexual potentials, nor are we using sex in a positive way to enhance our lives as we could be.

The second myth, that men are more sexual than women, has meant that there has been an imbalance between the masculine and feminine principles in society. We’ve had a dysfunctional masculine, overly dominant and aggressive, and a dysfunctional feminine, overly weak and dependent. When the two principles are out of whack like this, there is no balance and harmony. Without a balance of equal masculine and feminine, the masculine goes out of control and the feminine is useless.

Sexually, this means there has not been a focus on what men and women need sexually, how they function differently yet complementarily, and how their coming together creates magic. Instead we’ve had a servile feminine sexuality serving an overly dominant masculine sexuality. Women have been expected to 'service' their men’s 'needs': the 'good girls' served men's sexuality by providing children and the 'bad girls' served men's sexuality by providing pleasure.

When you combine those two myths, you end up with a society that has no idea about the beauty and benefits of sex; and individuals within it who have no idea of their potential and what they can do with their sexuality.

You have an overly-aggressive society that is full of dissatisfied people, both men and women.

Sound familiar?




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