‘Women’s essence is to be yin on the outside and yang on the inside, whereas men’s is to be yang on the outside and yin on the inside’.
We are equal. But does equal mean we are ‘the same’?
I’ve written elsewhere about how men and women are essentially the same - see one of my all time favourite blog articles ‘Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Earth’. But we’re not identical.
Vive la difference! read more...
The Love Life Blog: real advice for real people.
I have a client at the moment who recently took a ‘marriage sabbatical’. At least, that’s what she and her husband called it.
A work sabbatical is traditionally when you take a break from your job to study something else for a while. The idea is that regular work is too full to focus on the study, so you have some time away, and come back to the job both with new and useful knowledge and a fresh spirit.
That’s what this client is doing with her marriage: she’s taking a month off to be away from her husband and all the expectations and pressures she feels (rightly or wrongly) from being in the marriage, in order to have the space to learn more about herself and what she wants and needs in her life and in her marriage. read more...
(This is copy of a blog I wrote five years ago, hence some of the historical references.)
Here I am sitting in the depths of the jungle in northern Thailand, spending some time at a permaculture farm. Last weekend I was studying spiritual healing. Over Easter I attended the Xplore festival on alternate sexuality. Three quite different experiences, but all united: the sexuality, the spirituality and the connection to the environment. read more...
Think about electrical sockets. You have a masculine socket and a feminine socket. Bringing them together enables the energy to flow.
There’s a myth perpetuating in our society that men are “naturally” more promiscuous than women. One of the reasons given for this is that men have evolved to “sow their seed widely” so as to have more children and therefore ensure the continuity of their genes.
I'm never sure whether to pull my hair out in frustration or laugh at the ludicrousness of such as suggestion, which I hear so often, even from intelligent thoughtful people.
The fact is that the “sow seed widely” form of reproduction is generally only practiced by the lower orders of animals, such as amphibians and fish and coral. In these species the female lays huge quantities of eggs, which hatch into offspring, most of which don’t survive until reproductive age. The males conversely, have to spread huge amounts of sperm around, to catch the widely scattered eggs.
Just because all the media hype promotes thin people as being “sexier” doesn’t mean it’s true. Even if they were sexier, it doesn’t mean they have better sex than people with a bit more flesh on them.
I mean, do you prefer your lover built for comfort or for speed?
I remember a party I was at in my 20’s, talking to another woman who was a little on the plump side - rather voluptuous. She was bemoaning how unattractive she was and wishing she were thin like me: “Because men like thin women”. “Rubbish!” I replied – and went on to prove it by asking every young man in the room whose figure they preferred, hers or mine. read more...
Let’s take a look at the widely held myth that women are not naturally promiscuous.
First, a few biological facts:
So often people contact me to say that they want to come in for therapy and coaching sessions, or that they want to attend one of my workshops….but their partner doesn’t.
“How can I persuade him/her to come along?” they plead.
It’s a tricky one. You love your partner and you want to improve your sexual connection and through that your life together. You are willing to open up to in private sessions, or expose yourself to some degree in a group situation (not literally, my workshops are decidedly clothes on!), yet your partner is reluctant.
There are a number of reasons why your partner might be reluctant: read more...
Is your idea of libido “whoah hubba hubba here we go baby oh yeah bring it on!!!”?
Do you feel that the lead-up to sex has to be intense and passionate?
Are you struggling to achieve that fervent enthusiasm?
Have you tried to force the fire by watching porn, playing dress-ups or bringing out the sex toys - and it’s just made you feel worse?
And does that make it all seem too hard so you can’t be bothered?
Then throw away those ideas of needing to rev up for sex, and focus instead on the 'chilled build'. read more...
Happy loving parents make for happy loving children, so it’s vital that as parents you make the time and space to be loving with each other. A lot of people seem to feel it’s all too hard when you have children, so they have infrequent sex, if any at all.
It doesn't have to be that way though, not if you train your children to know that Mummy and Daddy need “Cuddle Time”. read more...
to my LOVELIFE blog for weekly inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!
- Pushing Boundaries
- Seven Benefits of Attending A LoveLife Couples Tantra Retreat
- Good Rest=Good Sex
- We Need Bliss
- Receptive is not Passive
- So Much Love
- A High-Level Relationship is a High-Maintenance Relationship
- Sex as Spiritual Practice
- The Yin and Yang of Sex
- Third Level Love-Making
- Vive La Difference!
- Taking a Marriage Sabbatical
- The Basic Sexual Unit is One
- A Penis is for Connection, not Penetration
- Men Have Not Evolved to 'Sow Their Seed Widely'