The Love Life Blog: real advice for real people. 


Sex as Spiritual Practice

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, January 22, 2017



I'm often asked about spiritual sex, and terms like 'Tantric Sex' are commonly googled requests that link to my website. I believe that to reach your sexual potential you've got to be open to the spiritual elements. So let's talk sex and spirituality.

'Bliss', 'ecstasy', 'connection', 'union', 'transcendence', losing self', 'merging with the universe.

What do you suppose I’m describing here?
a) A spiritual experience
b) A sexual experience
c) Both read more...



Playing with the Yin and Yang of Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, January 15, 2017



This is a practical activity to explore the polarities of giving and receiving, leading and following, from a place of equality.

Leading is Yang and giving is Yang. Following is Yin and receiving is Yin. When we combine these types of Yin and Yang we get four types of sexual expression: command, seduction, nurture/service and yielding. read more...



The Yin and Yang of Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, January 08, 2017



Feminine and masculine; dominant and submissive; active and receptive; spiritual and physical; hard and soft; intense and subtle; light and dark; slow and fast; quick and prolonged; peaks and valleys….

These are all elements of Yin and Yang, the coming together of equal, complementary opposites to make a united whole. They are also all elements of sexual potential.

The ancient Taoists of China understood this,  the sexual understandings and practices that have come from that period of time are about balance and equality which lead to ecstatic sexual experiences that are health-and life-enhancing.

The Tantrics of India had similar practices, which also seek to create balance and harmony. 

The West though, for the past few thousand years, has been dominated by masculine yang elements, which has led to a dysfunctionally dominant masculine and a dysfunctionally submissive feminine. This applied to the whole of society as much as to sex.
 read more...



Third Level Love-Making

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, December 04, 2016

 

There’s a wise old saying about spiritual and personal growth:

First there is the mountain

Then there is no mountain

Then there is the mountain again.

What this means is that you have normality, then that disappears while you grow and experience its opposite, and then a new normality comes back again as you integrate the experiences of personal growth.

This ’new’ reality is never the same reality as the one you had before - it might look the same to a casual observer but your experience of it is quite different.

If we’re talking about sex and intimacy, and human sexual potential, then the process is the same as for spiritual growth. read more...



Vive La Difference!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, November 27, 2016



‘Women’s essence is to be yin on the outside and yang on the inside, whereas men’s is to be yang on the outside and yin on the inside’.

We are equal. But does equal mean we are ‘the same’?

I’ve written elsewhere about how men and women are essentially the same - see one of my all time favourite blog articles ‘Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Earth’. But we’re not identical.

Vive la difference!  read more...



Taking a Marriage Sabbatical

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, November 20, 2016



I have a client at the moment who recently took a ‘marriage sabbatical’. At least, that’s what she and her husband called it.

A work sabbatical is traditionally when you take a break from your job to study something else for a while. The idea is that regular work is too full to focus on the study, so you have some time away, and come back to the job both with new and useful knowledge and a fresh spirit.

That’s what this client is doing with her marriage: she’s taking a month off to be away from her husband and all the expectations and pressures she feels (rightly or wrongly) from being in the marriage, in order to have the space to learn more about herself and what she wants and needs in her life and in her marriage. read more...



The Basic Sexual Unit is One

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, November 13, 2016



(This is copy of a blog I wrote five years ago, hence some of the historical references.)


Here I am sitting in the depths of the jungle in northern Thailand, spending some time at a permaculture farm. Last weekend I was studying spiritual healing. Over Easter I attended the Xplore festival on alternate sexuality. Three quite different experiences, but all united: the sexuality, the spirituality and the connection to the environment.
 read more...



A Penis is for Connection, not Penetration

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, October 30, 2016



Think about electrical sockets. You have a masculine socket and a feminine socket. Bringing them together enables the energy to flow.
 read more...



Men Have Not Evolved to 'Sow Their Seed Widely'

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, October 22, 2016



There’s a myth perpetuating in our society that men are “naturally” more promiscuous than women. One of the reasons given for this is that men have evolved to “sow their seed widely” so as to have more children and therefore ensure the continuity of their genes.

I'm never sure whether to pull my hair out in frustration or laugh at the ludicrousness of such as suggestion, which I hear so often, even from intelligent thoughtful people.

The fact is that the “sow seed widely” form of reproduction is generally only practiced by the lower orders of animals, such as amphibians and fish and coral. In these species the female lays huge quantities of eggs, which hatch into offspring, most of which don’t survive until reproductive age. The males conversely, have to spread huge amounts of sperm around, to catch the widely scattered eggs.
 read more...



Big Sex is Beautiful Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, October 16, 2016



Just because all the media hype promotes thin people as being “sexier” doesn’t mean it’s true. Even if they were sexier, it doesn’t mean they have better sex than people with a bit more flesh on them.

I mean, do you prefer your lover built for comfort or for speed?

I remember a party I was at in my 20’s, talking to another woman who was a little on the plump side - rather voluptuous. She was bemoaning how unattractive she was and wishing she were thin like me: “Because men like thin women”. “Rubbish!” I replied – and went on to prove it by asking every young man in the room whose figure they preferred, hers or mine.  read more...



1 2 3 4 5 .. 28

FREE LOVE

Subscribe
to my LOVELIFE blog for weekly inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!



Podcast



Search

Tags

Recent Posts

 

Earlier Posts



For more great sex advice -
read my books!