…which means it’s not “getting each other off”.

Solo sex is about having an orgasm, experimentation, self-education or any number of things, but it’s not about sharing.

Partnered sex is about sharing pleasure. read more...

There are many melting moments during quality sex.

Moments where there is a sense of melting:
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We have such huge expectations of our relationships and our partners these days: we expect him or her to be best friend, untiring provider, attentive helpmate, sympathetic counsellor, sexy lover, perfect co-parent, handyperson, master chef, fashion advisor, etc.

Then when they’re not, we’re disappointed.

How realistic is this expectation though? Completely not! read more...

 

Whoa! Isn’t that blasphemy, coming from a Sex Coach?

Sleep is better than sex? Hello - has Jacqueline gone crazy?

No, I’m not about to ‘fess up and declare that I don’t practice what I preach. I’m not going to tell you that most of the time I actually prefer curling up in bed with a good book and a box of chocolates - although sometimes I do. My point is that for very many people, myself included, without enough sleep you don’t feel like sex.

Time after time I get exhausted people coming to me wondering what’s wrong with them, why they don’t have any desire for sex. The answer is pretty simple – they’re too tired.

Exhausted, flat, overwhelmed, worn out, drained… None of these states are conducive to a raging libido.

Like anything in life, the better the physical and mental state you’re in, the better you’ll perform. This applies whether we’re talking about work, sport or play - including sex. read more...

 
I just had a week in private retreat, a time for reflection and contemplation. I was fortunate to stay in a friend’s beautiul beachside house in Sydney’s northern beaches.

It was a time to simply be rather than do, to feel rather than think.

A time to savour life.

Most of us are far too busy doing and pushing to actually be and feel what we’re doing. In life, and in sex.

Sex is not a race to the big ‘O’, it’s not a performance for the benefit of our partner, it’s a shared experience of pleasure, exquisitely felt and perfectly savoured. read more...

Live ‘La Vida Tantrika’ - the Tantric life!

The Tantric approach sees joy and pleasure as essential to spirituality. It’s about harnessing the power of pleasure without attachment to that pleasure, desire without craving; finding the spiritual in all aspects of life, really living life to the full.  read more...

I confess, I do sometimes look at my bookings of the day and see certain client names with some dread…

One such young couple were clients once. Newly married, he was struggling with an ‘incident’ she’d been involved in a little while before and they were not coping at all well. Nastiness, accusations, resentments, passive aggression, verbal aggression … Let’s just say that they weren’t being very nice to each other. And there was definitely no sex happening.

A few sessions on, I looked at my client list one day and saw them as the final clients for the day. The bell rang, with some trepidation I answered it, and lo and behold, there were two young people looking radiant with big smiles on their faces!
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Let’s talk about that most erotic of organs – our brain.

I had a client come to me stating that he was “the Mr Bean of sex”, clueless. Some sessions later he summed up his learnings with “now I get that I have to be a whole lot more creative…” read more...

Rest is a topic I could go on endlessly about. It’s so important for our mental and physical well being to rest properly and by “rest” I don’t mean vegetating in front of the TV for hours on end.

Rest is also essential for good sex. Good sex is an energizing experience, but if you’re too tired it won’t be good, if it exists at all.
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Being a sex geek, I am both trained as a scientist yet explore areas more likely to be considered mystical - particularly in the area of sexual pleasure. I myself have ecstatic experiences and blissful states that are quite different and far more pleasurable than what is considered 'normal sex', and I have spoken with many people who also have them, and have helped many others discover these possibilities too.

I am not exaggerating when I say that 'normal' sex is to this type of sex what a fast food hamburger is to gourmet cooking (keeping in mind that sometimes a hamburger is just fine, and you don’t have to like fine food). read more...