The Love Life Blog: real advice for real people. 


The Best Thing A Father Can Do

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, September 03, 2017



My parents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this week. Congratulations Mum and Dad!

They’ve had a great relationship. It’s had its ups and downs of course, but they never flat-lined or became complacent. They maintained their zest for life. And as I often say: you’ve gotta love life to have a love life.

What I do want to talk about is how much my father loves my mother, and what a positive impact that has had on me. You see, as a girl, having a father who loves, respects and admires his wife, your mother, is the best thing possible for growing up with a positive self-image. read more...



Vive La Difference!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, November 27, 2016



‘Women’s essence is to be yin on the outside and yang on the inside, whereas men’s is to be yang on the outside and yin on the inside’.

We are equal. But does equal mean we are ‘the same’?

I’ve written elsewhere about how men and women are essentially the same - see one of my all time favourite blog articles ‘Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Earth’. But we’re not identical.

Vive la difference!  read more...



Sex Therapy & Couples Retreats- What to do if You have a Reluctant Partner

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, September 24, 2016

 

So often people contact me to say that they want to come in for therapy and coaching sessions, or that they want to attend one of my workshops….but their partner doesn’t.

“How can I persuade him/her to come along?” they plead.

It’s a tricky one. You love your partner and you want to improve your sexual connection and through that your life together. You are willing to open up to in private sessions, or expose yourself to some degree in a group situation (not literally, my workshops are decidedly clothes on!), yet your partner is reluctant.

There are a number of reasons why your partner might be reluctant: read more...



Is Porn Making Women Less Feminine?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, August 27, 2016

 

It seems to me that too much porn is making men less masculine and it’s making women less feminine*.

To have the ecstatic sexual experiences all women are capable of requires a woman to be soft, receptive, yielding. She has to feel safe enough to be completely vulnerable and thereby open herself up utterly.

Is that what we see in porn? Uh … no.

Now don’t get me wrong, when I describe a highly sexual woman in this way, I don’t mean the only sex she likes is incredibly soft. It can also be wild and wanton and absolutely full of abandon.

In fact, when a woman gets to her ultimate sexually, she becomes wild and free and completely unconstrained. That can lead to frenzied, passionate, delirious responses or it can lead to utter stillness with ecstatic sensations infusing the body with delectable pleasure, or anywhere in between. The thing is that it’s a true and real expression of a woman who feels confident enough in herself and in her partner to be able to go there.
 read more...



Is Porn Making Men Less Masculine?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, August 20, 2016



I see a lot of male clients who watch a lot of porn, and one thing that strikes me about these men is that they are not very masculine.

A man who is mature in his masculinity is:
 read more...



Ban Penetration!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, July 23, 2016



…the word that is, not the act.

 read more...



Our Bodies Thrive on Pleasure

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, July 05, 2016



There are many aspects to becoming sexually empowered, whatever your gender, and one of the key elements is pleasure. And the thing about pleasure, is that it's not a nice-to-have or reward-if-you’re-good. In fact, our bodies thrive on pleasure... read more...



The Sexual Glutton vs The Sexual Gourmet

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, May 29, 2016

I was chatting to a good friend recently who, like many people, loves sex and loves the general topic of sex. He was musing on whether he might possibly be a sex addict given that he’s so fascinated, possibly even obsessed, by the topic. My reply was: “I hope not, because that would make me one too!”

It got me thinking, because I have done on-line “Are you a Sex Addict’ type quizzes, and according to some of them I certainly would be a sex addict because thinking about sex takes up so much of my time and sex in general plays such a big part of my life.  read more...



The Picnic Approach to Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, May 14, 2016




The standard approach to sex is rather like a three course meal, it proceeds in set stages: you kiss a bit, fondle a bit (maybe give her an orgasm), then have vigorous intercourse until he comes. The End.

It’s not a bad model for sex, but it’s limited, and can get pretty boring over time.

I suggest you approach sex more like a picnic, with everything available at once and you pick and choose whatever you want in whatever quantity and in whatever order you please.  read more...



Strength in Softness, Softness in Strength

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, January 15, 2016



I had an interesting few days recently, running a workshop for women, followed two days later with a seminar for men. 

For me it was truly wonderful to work with a group of 16 women over two days and feel and see them come more fully into the strength and softness of their femininity, and become more sexually confident and expressive. Such gorgeous strong feminine women! 

And then two days later to work with a group of 15 men for an evening of coming into the strength and softness of their masculinity, becoming more sexually confident and (according to feedback from participants and/or their partners) more sexually expressive. Such gorgeous strong masculine men! read more...



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