‘Women’s essence is to be yin on the outside and yang on the inside, whereas men’s is to be yang on the outside and yin on the inside’.
We are equal. But does equal mean we are ‘the same’?
I’ve written elsewhere about how men and women are essentially the same - see one of my all time favourite blog articles ‘Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Earth’. But we’re not identical.
Vive la difference! read more...
The Love Life Blog: real advice for real people.
So often people contact me to say that they want to come in for therapy and coaching sessions, or that they want to attend one of my workshops….but their partner doesn’t.
“How can I persuade him/her to come along?” they plead.
It’s a tricky one. You love your partner and you want to improve your sexual connection and through that your life together. You are willing to open up to in private sessions, or expose yourself to some degree in a group situation (not literally, my workshops are decidedly clothes on!), yet your partner is reluctant.
There are a number of reasons why your partner might be reluctant: read more...
It seems to me that too much porn is making men less masculine and it’s making women less feminine*.
To have the ecstatic sexual experiences all women are capable of requires a woman to be soft, receptive, yielding. She has to feel safe enough to be completely vulnerable and thereby open herself up utterly.
Is that what we see in porn? Uh … no.
Now don’t get me wrong, when I describe a highly sexual woman in this way, I don’t mean the only sex she likes is incredibly soft. It can also be wild and wanton and absolutely full of abandon.
In fact, when a woman gets to her ultimate sexually, she becomes wild and free and completely unconstrained. That can lead to frenzied, passionate, delirious responses or it can lead to utter stillness with ecstatic sensations infusing the body with delectable pleasure, or anywhere in between. The thing is that it’s a true and real expression of a woman who feels confident enough in herself and in her partner to be able to go there.
I see a lot of male clients who watch a lot of porn, and one thing that strikes me about these men is that they are not very masculine.
A man who is mature in his masculinity is: read more...
…the word that is, not the act. read more...
There are many aspects to becoming sexually empowered, whatever your gender, and one of the key elements is pleasure. And the thing about pleasure, is that it's not a nice-to-have or reward-if-you’re-good. In fact, our bodies thrive on pleasure... read more...
I was chatting to a good friend recently who, like many people, loves sex and loves the general topic of sex. He was musing on whether he might possibly be a sex addict given that he’s so fascinated, possibly even obsessed, by the topic. My reply was: “I hope not, because that would make me one too!”
It got me thinking, because I have done on-line “Are you a Sex Addict’ type quizzes, and according to some of them I certainly would be a sex addict because thinking about sex takes up so much of my time and sex in general plays such a big part of my life. read more...
The standard approach to sex is rather like a three course meal, it proceeds in set stages: you kiss a bit, fondle a bit (maybe give her an orgasm), then have vigorous intercourse until he comes. The End.
It’s not a bad model for sex, but it’s limited, and can get pretty boring over time.
I suggest you approach sex more like a picnic, with everything available at once and you pick and choose whatever you want in whatever quantity and in whatever order you please. read more...
I had an interesting few days recently, running a workshop for women, followed two days later with a seminar for men.
For me it was truly wonderful to work with a group of 16 women over two days and feel and see them come more fully into the strength and softness of their femininity, and become more sexually confident and expressive. Such gorgeous strong feminine women!
And then two days later to work with a group of 15 men for an evening of coming into the strength and softness of their masculinity, becoming more sexually confident and (according to feedback from participants and/or their partners) more sexually expressive. Such gorgeous strong masculine men! read more...
Happy new year! I hope you’re having a great festive season and are taking time to look over your life and acknowledge where life is going well and where it could do with improving.
Hopefully you’ve gone so far as to make some new years resolutions. These are probably to do with health issues such as getting fit or drinking less, or to do with finance issues such as saving money or getting a raise. If so, they're all very worthy resolutions and good on you for making them.
Here’s another one for you:
“I resolve to have better sex this year.” read more...
to my LOVELIFE blog for weekly inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!
- Pushing Boundaries
- Seven Benefits of Attending A LoveLife Couples Tantra Retreat
- Good Rest=Good Sex
- We Need Bliss
- Receptive is not Passive
- So Much Love
- A High-Level Relationship is a High-Maintenance Relationship
- Sex as Spiritual Practice
- The Yin and Yang of Sex
- Third Level Love-Making
- Vive La Difference!
- Taking a Marriage Sabbatical
- The Basic Sexual Unit is One
- A Penis is for Connection, not Penetration
- Men Have Not Evolved to 'Sow Their Seed Widely'