The Love Life Blog: real advice for real people. 


Good Rest=Good Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, March 05, 2017




Rest is a topic I could go on endlessly about. It’s so important for our mental and physical well being to rest properly and by “rest” I don’t mean vegetating in front of the TV for hours on end.

Rest is also essential for good sex. Good sex is an energizing experience, but if you’re too tired it won’t be good, if it exists at all.
 read more...



The Chilled Build - Sympathetic Arousal vs Parasympathetic Arousal

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, September 17, 2016



Is your idea of libido “whoah hubba hubba here we go baby oh yeah bring it on!!!”?

Do you feel that the lead-up to sex has to be intense and passionate?

Are you struggling to achieve that fervent enthusiasm?

Have you tried to force the fire by watching porn, playing dress-ups or bringing out the sex toys - and it’s just made you feel worse?

And does that make it all seem too hard so you can’t be bothered?

Then throw away those ideas of needing to rev up for sex, and focus instead on the 'chilled build'read more...



Seven Benefits of Attending a Couples Retreat

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, July 30, 2016




I’m back from running another gorgeous Couples Retreat in the Blue Mountains last weekend. I’m feeling all loved up myself from being surrounded by couples celebrating their love and honouring their sexuality as an expression of that love. It really is such a wonderful experience that I want to tell you all the good reasons to attend.

I was going to write this myself, and then I received this feedback from one couple who attended - and so I figured that rather than me waxing lyrical about it, it’d be much better for you to hear from the participants themselves! read more...



Peace, Pleasure and Goodwill to All

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, December 18, 2015

 


Happy festive season! ’Tis the season for peace, pleasure and good will to all!

What’s this got to do with your love life?

Firstly - “’tis the season for peace”.

By peace I mean that inner stillness and calm that allows for presence. When you’ve got a head full of busyness it’s very hard to tune off and become still and present. You can still have pretty good sex, but it tends to be distracted, unconnected and therefore ultimately unsatisfying. So, during this time when most people have time off, focus on the peace, find the moments of quiet and tune into that. Then take that feeling into your lovemaking. It’s from that deep space that realness emerges and the sex can become whatever is real for you at the time, wild or tender or crazy as, whatever. The thing is that it’s real, it comes from within you, not some expectation or act imposed from outside. read more...



Come From A Place of "Yes!"

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, November 20, 2015



I had a good chat recently with a woman who loves to make love with her husband, she said that she never refuses her husband, that she always comes from a place of "Yes!".

Apparently her mother had drilled into her that it was the best way to stay happy and connected in a marriage, and it was good advice - regular, quality love-making definitely strengthens a relationship.

I had to agree, I too like to say "Yes!" to sex (and when I say ’sex’ I mean love-making not just intercourse, not even genital interaction) - and I'd love it if you could too and definitely not in a “just do it” kind of way. I want you to say “Yes!", not “Oh well, if I must” or “Ok, if you’ll shut up about it” or “Well, OK. I suppose you did vacuum the house…” read more...



Reluctance is Not Frigidity, It’s Body Intelligence - She’s Not Ready!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, October 30, 2015



I had a male client complain to me recently that after five years he still couldn’t get his girlfriend to want or enjoy sex. He said he’d tried everything - even anal sex and fisting, and she still wasn’t interested…

Oh boy, I think this guy was confusing sex with a porn shoot.

The poor girlfriend wasn’t frigid, she just wasn’t ready! Fortunately she was trusting her body and saying no, rather than going ahead and traumatizing herself. read more...



Space is Erotic

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s true. Think about how much more attractive your partner is when they’ve been away for a while. Maybe they’ve been to the gym and they come back alert and refreshed and with a healthy glow about them; or maybe they’ve been out catching up with friends and have come back glowing and full of tales to tell; maybe they’re studying at night school and come home elated and wanting to share their new knowledge.

When your partner has been apart from you, doing interesting things, they come back fresher, more vibrant and with a desirable energy. You can look at them and think to yourself: “Mmmmm, I like you” read more...



Quanta of Yumminess

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Every time you do something for or say something nice to your partner it’s like you’re sending them a little bundle of loving sexual energy, a little quantum of yumminess.

“Ping!”

Imagine that quantum of energy springing across from your heart and into your partner’s heart. Make them feel the “mmm” - “mmm, you love me” and “mmm, you desire me”. read more...



Make the Lead-Up Erotic

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, November 26, 2013

You might be in the mood…

…but by the time you’ve put the dishwasher on, put out the rubbish, checked on the kids, locked the house, brushed your teeth, got changed and hopped into bed… well, somehow the urge has disappeared.

How do you stay in the mood as you lead-up to sex?

Make the lead-up erotic!
 read more...



Intensity Repels, Enticement Attracts. Like Chocolate Cake.

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, July 16, 2013

What’s one thing men do badly? They thrust.

Male energy can be very intense, and when it’s directed at a man’s female partner it can cause her to put up defenses and back away. It will repel her. read more...



1 2 3

FREE LOVE

Subscribe
to my LOVELIFE blog for weekly inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!



Podcast



Search

Tags

Recent Posts

 

Earlier Posts



For more great sex advice -
read my books!