The Love Life Blog: real advice for real people. 


Pushing Boundaries

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, March 19, 2017




Let’s talk about that most erotic of organs – our brain.

I had a client come to me stating that he was “the Mr Bean of sex”, clueless. Some sessions later he summed up his learnings with “now I get that I have to be a whole lot more creative…” read more...



Good Head Does Not Mean Simulating A Vacuum Cleaner

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, September 03, 2016



Yes, I know on the porn clips the women giving men oral sex appear to be applying an extraordinary amount of suction and vigorous attention to the penis, and the man appears to be enjoying it. But you know what - they’re actors. You don’t know if they’re actually enjoying it. That’s not what porn is, porn is designed to be visually stimulating, it’s supposed to be what looks arousing, not what actually is arousing. Never assume that what you see on porn feels good.

And yes, I know when a man masturbates he tends to stroke his shaft vigorously.

But your mouth is not a hand. Your mouth is completely different to a hand, not only in the way it holds a penis, but in the mechanism of how it moves. Your hand is attached to a very flexible wrist, which is attached to a very strong and mobile arm. Your mouth is part of your head, attached to a delicate and not very maneuverable neck.
 read more...



Rough Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, August 12, 2016



We’re talking extreme yang sex play here. Really unleashing the wild side and letting your most animalistic side take over. Rutting like wild cats. Biting, slapping, grasping hard, choking, seizing and pulling hair…

Rough sex takes an athlete’s devotion to physicality. You need strength, stamina, toughness, resilience. You have to be tough, both in the giving and receiving. You have to be physically robust to take rough sex. This robustness doesn’t have to be size, but the ability to flow with the activity, and the ability to absorb the energy of the activity and lose yourself in the pleasure of the passion. read more...



Toys for Grown-Ups

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, June 11, 2016


 
I’m always stressing that sex is playtime for grown-ups. Sex is about sharing pleasure. That means being creative and experimental and generally having fun with the whole thing.

One element of playtime is…toys! Yes, just as kids can play with toys, so can we grown-ups. It’s fun!

Occasionally people say to me, ‘But it’s unnatural to use sex toys’. Oh for heaven’s sake, so is using a toothbrush, but I’m sure you use one every day.

In fact I doubt sex toys are ‘unnatural’ at all, I’m sure they go back as long as humans have existed. One of the outstanding features of humans is our ability to be creative and devise tools and gadgets. Phallic shaped artefacts have been found all over the world from ancient times, and while the archeologists might call them ‘objects of worship’ or similar, I’m quite sure they had a more ‘practical’ use as well… read more...



Backdoor Pleasures

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, June 03, 2016



The poor anus, it can get left out. The whole body is responsive to touch and pleasure, and the anal area more so than most, yet it has a reputation for being ‘dirty’ and for anal play to be somewhat ‘sordid’. But think of deep connection, waves of pleasure, ecstatic thrills throughout your body.

…that sounds beautiful and desirable, but does it sound anal? Not if your idea of anal sex is something that’s dirty or sordid. Yet it’s perfectly possible to include ‘backdoor’ pleasures within a sensual, connected approach to sex.
 read more...



Inviting A Third (or fourth or more…) - the right way to play

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 16, 2015



The thought of sex with multiple partners can be deliciously arousing. The prospect of turning that fantasy into a reality though, can be fraught. read more...



Our Bodies Are the Best Sex Toy Ever

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 26, 2015

 
You can certainly spice up your relationship with sex toys - there are thousands on the market to choose from..  read more...



DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, April 28, 2015



Lights - camera - action! Starring in your own porn show can be a fun way to spice up your sex life. read more...



Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, April 14, 2015




If you want to spice up your sex life, it’s got to be real. There’s no point faking it. That would be like putting fake spices into a curry - it might look good, but if it tastes terrible there’s no point. If you fake sexual pleasure you’re deceiving your partner and you’ll end up frustrated and resentful. read more...



Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, April 07, 2015



Prostate massage can be great for a man - great orgasms, better sex. You have to go in through the bum hole though, so it’s not for everyone. But if you’re game, it can feel fantastic.

Now, you don’t want to go “barreling down to the anus” (to misquote Monty Python), he needs to be warmed up to anal touch. Make sure he’s good and relaxed, you’ve got music playing, soft lighting, whatever makes him (and you as the massager) feel comfortable.  read more...



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