The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, November 06, 2012

I ran a pre-conference workshop at the Australian Society of Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists (now known as Society of Australian Sexologists) on incorporating Tantra into Sex Therapy. read more...

Is “Good Enough” Sex Good Enough?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I don't believe so! I wouldn't be in this profession if I thought my role was to encourage people, especially women, to have 'good enough' sex. That doesn't seem to be the view of some of my colleagues though.  read more...

Observing Love

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, October 02, 2012

One of he great blessings of my work is that I observe love. Whether it’s couples in private sessions or couples in workshops, I observe, and feel, the expression of their love and desire for each other. It’s not something we see often in this society and it is a very beautiful, inspiring thing.

I’ve written about two small case studies in my blogs this past month: You Can Make Love With A Kiss and Be Nice - It Works. Small, beautiful, examples of how when a couple come together with openness, honesty and respect, that is, with love, they can connect deeply and express their love physically, emotionally, even spiritually, with deep feeling and with gorgeous eroticism.

I saw this over the past weekend in my women’s only retreat, Luscious Woman, in the Blue Mountains. It was the first retreat I’ve ever run, and it exceeded my expectations. It was, quite simply, beautiful. The beauty of the nature, the slowness of the pace, the space for personal reflection, allowed everyone to sink in to themselves, to find the peace and strength as women to trust and open to their partners (which I hear they did on their return home...)

There Is Always A Lower Desire Partner

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What level of desire do each of you have to:

  • Cook
  • Visit the in-laws
  • Learn a foreign language for an overseas trip
  • Go running in the morning
  • Help the kids with their homework
  • Plant a vegetable garden
  • Renovate the bathroom
  • Have sex?
Were you equal on any of those? Probably not. Chances are there’s a higher and lower desire partner for each one; just as you’ve probably got different levels of desire for sex.

There’s always a lower desire partner, and always a higher desire partner. Every couple has to come to terms with that basic difference and work with it.  read more...

Crafting the Balance

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, September 04, 2012

I’m a working mother of three, so life gets pretty busy! When you live a life like mine, you have to focus on balance. I'm constantly struggling with my mad innate urges to completely overcommit and take on too much (well, it is all so interesting and so necessary!). I, like many women out there, may be a super woman, but I am not Superwoman, and I have limits. There has to be a balance. And that balance has to be crafted.  read more...

Sexual, Spiritual Business Leaders

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 28, 2012


Positive Messages in 50 Shades of Grey

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 07, 2012

30 million copies of 50 Shades of Grey sold and counting..... Leaving commentators bemused: why so popular?.
It's obviously not high literature, but then again, it's not trying to be, it’s just a good romance.

But 30 million copies…

… there’s got to be something special…

Playing with Pleasure and Pain

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Playing along the borders of pleasure and pain can add delectable spice to your love life - although the thought of it can be pretty confusing and scary.

So let me explain.
We all have pain thresholds, and the area around that threshold can be exquisitely delightful - if approached in a safe and relaxed manner.  read more...

Tantric Kink

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I love Tantra and I love elements of kink.
The two combined are what I call Sensual Kink, and I don't think it gets much better than that. So with the current interest in kink that's been generated by the overwhelming popularity of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, I thought I might share my thoughts.

To me, Tantra and Kink are at one of the end spectrum; and the alcohol-fueled model of sex, along with porn and raunch culture, are at the other. The former are about depth and connection, resulting in ecstatic states and altered consciousness; and the latter is about superficiality and performance-style sexuality that has little if any positive outcome from what I can see. read more...

Pelvic Floor Pleasures - Advanced

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Once you've been practicing the basic exercises for a while, you should feel a change in your pelvis, feeling more present and connected to your genital region. This is a good thing.
Give your pelvic floor a squeeze now, notice how it connects you to your pelvic area. Breath into your belly and do some more squeezes, nice and relaxed.

Let’s look at some advanced pleasures;

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