The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

The Etiquette of Observing Breasts

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I was asked this question from a chap in America:

"Recently I asked the folks at "Dear Cupid" a question about the etiquette of when a man may permissibly glance at a woman's breasts. For some reason they found my question "inappropriate to publish." To me given the fact that heterosexual relationships start with a man and women visually interacting with one another that the question of when it is okay to glance at a woman's breasts seems extraordinarily fundamental. Many men don't seem to know that it isn't bad to look because hardly anybody tells them they can. So what is the deal and can't somebody write something on this?"

This was my reply:

What is Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching and Tantra Teaching?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I'm often asked what's the difference between sex therapy and coaching, and where Tantra fits in.

In a nutshell, Sex Therapy fixes sexual dysfunctions to make people sexually functional. Sex (and Relationship) Coaching, takes functional people and makes them exceptional. As I do both, I can help you fix the problems, and then take you beyond - far beyond - into the realm of exceptional! That's where the Tantra comes in.

The World is Waking to Conscious Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, January 16, 2012

2012 has long been declared the year of change, some seeing it as the end of the world, and others as the end of our old, limited ways of thinking. I’m sure it’s the latter.

I’ve spent my whole life exploring spirituality and consciousness (of which, you well know, I believe sexuality to be an important component). I used to have to do it almost in secret and was considered odd if anyone knew about it. In my undergraduate science degree I was scoffed at by the lecturers, yet now I’m constantly reading books byscientists and academics on spirituality and science, and the unfolding knowledge around consciousness is so exciting, really bringing together ancient wisdom with modern scientific knowledge.

Become a Sensual Explorer

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, November 21, 2011

Our five senses of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch are wonderful tools to explore sensuality and eroticism. By suppressing or enhancing the senses you can create and experience all kinds of enchanting pleasures.

Here are some suggestions to inspire you in your own sensual adventures: read more...

Try A Little Tenderness

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, November 07, 2011

So much of my work revolves around enabling people to come together with real intimacy. I’m blessed to be able to see this in private sessions in the workshops and retreats that I run. Seeing couples sharing their love and intimacy so beautifully is an awe-inspiring experience, but it’s also sadly rare in our society.

The Sensual Man

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Available as a podcast: download here! What is the number one thing that makes a man a great lover?

His sensuality.

Without sensuality, when a man makes love to his partner, there can be no real connection. Without that connection, the sex becomes uninteresting, even a turn-off for the woman, and the sex dies. read more...

Sensuality Feeds Sexuality

Jacqueline Hellyer - Thursday, October 06, 2011

You might have become one of those people who have closed off from their senses, experiencing the world primarily through the mind. It’s common enough. I don’t want to downplay the importance of cerebral activity, the mental sphere is vital to engaging in life and is important in love-making too. But making love when you’re all in your head is just not on a par with making love with full sensual awareness. read more...

The Beauty of Conflict

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 30, 2011

There are three important points to understand about conflict:

Communicate - Human's Can't Read Minds!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 23, 2011

There is nothing more fundamental to a good relationship, and therefore to a good sex life, than communication. 

It is absolutely, categorically, completely and utterly vital.

It would be nice to think that after years together you might have developed an “unspoken understanding” but don’t count on it. The number of times I’ve heard clients complain about their partners, and when I ask: “Have you told them?”, the answer is along the lines of: “No/There’s no point/They should know” and so forth.

Unfortunately, it’s a sad fact but true - humans are not mind readers. You do actually have to speak to each other. And that also means listening to each other. And clarifying that this speaking and listening has in fact resulted in mutual understanding.

Communication is an art.

So practice.

A Woman's Body Opens In Stages

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 16, 2011

One of the main reasons women don’t reach their orgasmic potential, and why men miss out on the pleasure of their woman reaching that level, is that they go too far too soon.

A woman’s body opens up in stages. If you rush the process, she won’t be able to get there. If you kiss her before she’s ready, she won’t like it. If you touch her breasts before she’s ready she’ll be repulsed and feel like you’re groping here. If you get genital before she’s ready it will feel unpleasant, even painful, and if you enter her before she’s ready she’ll feel used/abused/bored/in pain/contemptuous, or any number of negative emotions far from the ecstatic pleasure that her man is hoping for.

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