The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!


Make Every Stroke Count

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, March 14, 2011

A client of mine had attended my Blackbelt in the Bedroom seminar for men and said that afterwards he’d had the best sex ever. 
He also said:

“I applied everything you taught us. I made every stroke count. It was unbelievable!”
 read more...



Communing

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, February 08, 2011


This is a great word that I like to use when talking to couples about how to relate to each other and get in the mood for love-making.

That word is “communing”.



The dictionary defines the verb “commune” as:

• To share one's intimate thoughts or feelings with someone or something;
• To feel in close spiritual contact with someone or something.



It’s a gentle, chilled-out word that makes you feel relaxed and connected. I take it to mean that act of sharing and feeling when two people hang-out together doing stuff that makes them feel good about each other...

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The Core of Tantra: Real Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, January 31, 2011

I’m going to share a little about myself here, to give you some insight into why and how I work the way I do.

A number of years ago I realised that my experience of sex was very different to most people’s. Extended sessions of love-making, multiple (or should I say endless) orgasms, ecstatic states of altered consciousness were the norm, even with small children and babies, years into a relationship.

At first I thought it was something special about my husband and I, but after our marriage ended I discovered that, nope, it was me. I went through what I call my ‘research’ period, investigating sex with a range of different partners and the response was pretty similar: “Wow, that was different”, “You really like sex don’t you”, “You need to teach this to people!” read more...



Sex as Entree not Dessert

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, January 25, 2011


We tend to get into habits with sex, and one habit that is so widespread is having sex last thing at night.

Why is that? It’s the time when most people are the most tired and the least likely to want or to enjoy sex!
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Prioritising Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, November 02, 2010

I was giving a talk to a large group of women at a Melbourne Cup lunch this week (wearing a fabulous hat of course). Since they were pretty much all married with kids, the discussion was primarily around how to keep up a good sex life in a long-term relationship, particularly when you’ve got babies and children.  read more...



The Awesomeness of Men Who Are Present

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, October 12, 2010

At my Black Belt in the Bedroom seminars I get the participating men to stand in a circle and and simply breathe, circulating their sexual energy around their bodies. Each time it is, simply, stunning. The only way to describe it is to use a rather old-fashioned and religious term; it is a State of Grace. With every group, the peace and presence manifested by these men is magnificent. If only their women could be there to experience it.

I love to stand in the middle of the circle and feel that gorgeous masculine energy. When I have a female assistant there, I invite her to stand in the circle to feel it too. Every woman who has done this has been amazed at the sensation.

Experiences like this confirm my purpose in the world to enable people to connect with themselves and through that with their partners, and through that ultimately to connect with everything.

On behalf of the women of the world, thanks guys! You’re awesome!

 read more...



Not-So-Secret Men's Business

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, October 05, 2010

I am bravely, perhaps foolhardedly, but definitely doggedly running a Blackbelt in the Bedroom seminar on Monday evening.

 Why do I say doggedly? Because men are so bloody hard to get to a workshop on sex! read more...



Could We Have A Festival of Sexuality?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I was reading the paper this morning and there was a multi-page feature on the Sydney Food Festival that’s coming up. All over the city there will be parties and workshops and markets and you name it, celebrating our love of food and the diversity of food. It’s a true gourmet’s feast, nothing gluttonous about the festival organiser’s approach, it’s about the joy and fun and the pleasure of food.

It got me thinking about how wonderful it would be if we could celebrate sexuality in the same way, really celebrate the diversity and depth and wonder of sex.
 read more...



The Breadth of Sexuality & The Importance of Fun

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I often find that people are surprised at the breadth of sexuality I encourage. As with so much of our society, we tend to categorize and label others and ourselves. What I do can’t be labeled in this way. I’m not just ‘tantric’ or ‘kinky’ or ‘raunchy’ or ‘clinical’ or whatever – I’m all of them, and more.

I believe in the full range of sexual expression, as long as it comes from a place that is real.

For me that’s the only issue. Are you being real, and are you allowing expression of your true self? I don’t believe there is any right or wrong when it comes to sex, as long as it’s between consenting living adult humans, as long as it’s life enhancing.

So the tantric types get a shock in my workshops when I bring out the bondage ropes; those who embrace raunch culture find the softness disconcerting; the kinky types wonder if all this talk about love isn’t a bit vanilla; and the clinical types find the fun and naughtiness rather perplexing.

But it’s all good! Tantric bondage, soft raunch, loving kink, are all real expressions of possibility.
 read more...



Three Things a Masculine Man Needs

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Three things a man needs to come into a positive masculinity:
 read more...



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