There's a beautiful quote from Anais Nin:
"There came a day when the flower realized that the pain of remaining tight in a bud was greater than the risk of opening up and blossoming. “
That's how people often feel about their sexuality before they come to see me. It's what I love in this work, whether it's with private clients or in the group workshops, people start to tap into their true selves and to allow themselves to be who they really are and express themselves honestly and openly.
The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!
There's a beautiful quote from Anais Nin:
In case you need convincing, here are twelve benefits of sex: read more...
This is a great word that I like to use when talking to couples about how to relate to each other and get in the mood for love-making.
That word is “communing”.
The dictionary defines the verb “commune” as:
• To share one's intimate thoughts or feelings with someone or something;
• To feel in close spiritual contact with someone or something.
It’s a gentle, chilled-out word that makes you feel relaxed and connected. I take it to mean that act of sharing and feeling when two people hang-out together doing stuff that makes them feel good about each other...
I’m going to share a little about myself here, to give you some insight into why and how I work the way I do.
A number of years ago I realised that my experience of sex was very different to most people’s. Extended sessions of love-making, multiple (or should I say endless) orgasms, ecstatic states of altered consciousness were the norm, even with small children and babies, years into a relationship.
At first I thought it was something special about my husband and I, but after our marriage ended I discovered that, nope, it was me. I went through what I call my ‘research’ period, investigating sex with a range of different partners and the response was pretty similar: “Wow, that was different”, “You really like sex don’t you”, “You need to teach this to people!” read more...
We tend to get into habits with sex, and one habit that is so widespread is having sex last thing at night.
Why is that? It’s the time when most people are the most tired and the least likely to want or to enjoy sex!
I was giving a talk to a large group of women at a Melbourne Cup lunch this week (wearing a fabulous hat of course). Since they were pretty much all married with kids, the discussion was primarily around how to keep up a good sex life in a long-term relationship, particularly when you’ve got babies and children. read more...
At my Black Belt in the Bedroom seminars I get the participating men to stand in a circle and and simply breathe, circulating their sexual energy around their bodies. Each time it is, simply, stunning. The only way to describe it is to use a rather old-fashioned and religious term; it is a State of Grace. With every group, the peace and presence manifested by these men is magnificent. If only their women could be there to experience it.
I love to stand in the middle of the circle and feel that gorgeous masculine energy. When I have a female assistant there, I invite her to stand in the circle to feel it too. Every woman who has done this has been amazed at the sensation.
Experiences like this confirm my purpose in the world to enable people to connect with themselves and through that with their partners, and through that ultimately to connect with everything.
On behalf of the women of the world, thanks guys! You’re awesome!
I am bravely, perhaps foolhardedly, but definitely doggedly running a Blackbelt in the Bedroom seminar on Monday evening.
Why do I say doggedly? Because men are so bloody hard to get to a workshop on sex! read more...
I was reading the paper this morning and there was a multi-page feature on the Sydney Food Festival that’s coming up. All over the city there will be parties and workshops and markets and you name it, celebrating our love of food and the diversity of food. It’s a true gourmet’s feast, nothing gluttonous about the festival organiser’s approach, it’s about the joy and fun and the pleasure of food.
It got me thinking about how wonderful it would be if we could celebrate sexuality in the same way, really celebrate the diversity and depth and wonder of sex.
I often find that people are surprised at the breadth of sexuality I encourage. As with so much of our society, we tend to categorize and label others and ourselves. What I do can’t be labeled in this way. I’m not just ‘tantric’ or ‘kinky’ or ‘raunchy’ or ‘clinical’ or whatever – I’m all of them, and more.
I believe in the full range of sexual expression, as long as it comes from a place that is real.
For me that’s the only issue. Are you being real, and are you allowing expression of your true self? I don’t believe there is any right or wrong when it comes to sex, as long as it’s between consenting living adult humans, as long as it’s life enhancing.
So the tantric types get a shock in my workshops when I bring out the bondage ropes; those who embrace raunch culture find the softness disconcerting; the kinky types wonder if all this talk about love isn’t a bit vanilla; and the clinical types find the fun and naughtiness rather perplexing.
But it’s all good! Tantric bondage, soft raunch, loving kink, are all real expressions of possibility.
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to LOVELIFE News for regular inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!