Yes, I know on the porn clips the women giving men oral sex appear to be applying an extraordinary amount of suction and vigorous attention to the penis, and the man appears to be enjoying it. But you know what - they’re actors. You don’t know if they’re actually enjoying it. That’s not what porn is, porn is designed to be visually stimulating, it’s supposed to be what looks arousing, not what actually is arousing. Never assume that what you see on porn feels good.
And yes, I know when a man masturbates he tends to stroke his shaft vigorously.
But your mouth is not a hand. Your mouth is completely different to a hand, not only in the way it holds a penis, but in the mechanism of how it moves. Your hand is attached to a very flexible wrist, which is attached to a very strong and mobile arm. Your mouth is part of your head, attached to a delicate and not very maneuverable neck.
The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!
I see a lot of male clients who watch a lot of porn, and one thing that strikes me about these men is that they are not very masculine.
A man who is mature in his masculinity is: read more...
Sure, sometimes there are times when you want a quick wank, just as stress release or to rid yourself of a persistent urge. But for a man who wants to be a great lover, someone who is in tune with his sexuality and can make awesome love with his partner, what you really want is ‘solo cultivation’. read more...
I had an interesting few days recently, running a workshop for women, followed two days later with a seminar for men.
For me it was truly wonderful to work with a group of 16 women over two days and feel and see them come more fully into the strength and softness of their femininity, and become more sexually confident and expressive. Such gorgeous strong feminine women!
And then two days later to work with a group of 15 men for an evening of coming into the strength and softness of their masculinity, becoming more sexually confident and (according to feedback from participants and/or their partners) more sexually expressive. Such gorgeous strong masculine men! read more...
Prostate massage can be great for a man - great orgasms, better sex. You have to go in through the bum hole though, so it’s not for everyone. But if you’re game, it can feel fantastic.
Now, you don’t want to go “barreling down to the anus” (to misquote Monty Python), he needs to be warmed up to anal touch. Make sure he’s good and relaxed, you’ve got music playing, soft lighting, whatever makes him (and you as the massager) feel comfortable. read more...
With my Seven Level Online Sex Course for Men.
I’ve run the men’s workshop Black Belt in the Bedroom twenty times over the past six years, and it’s been fantastic! With feedback like:
"In the short time since the Black Belt seminar, my partner has said that our sex has turned "180 degrees", and that you are a "miracle worker" !” read more...
Aren’t men supposed to be insatiable sex machines, always gagging for it, ready at the drop of a hat, incessantly harassing their poor female partner to satiate their voracious appetite?
If you believe that, and you’ve lost interest, then you’re going to think that something really bad is going on. Your partner might think so too, and might even blame herself: “If all other women are having to fight off their man, and mine isn’t even interested, then what’s wrong with me?”
Either that or your partner might think that there’s something wrong with you: “What kind of a man are you? Limp dick!” Which is hardly going to help the situation. read more...
I’ve spoken to hundreds of men at the most intimate levels about their sex lives. I always ask them what it is they love most about sex. And do you know what the answer is?
If you have an old-fashioned view of sex, that ‘men have their needs’ and that really they are just animalistic creatures who need to get their end in to get their rocks off then you’d probably say something like: having an orgasm. read more...
Erections come and go. A penis is quite a variable creature. Sometimes it’s not erect when you want it to be, and other times it’s erect when you don’t want it to be.
I’ve written before about when it’s soft, even if you’d rather it were hard (The Pleasure of A Soft Cock). So what about the opposite: when it’s hard and you might not want it to be. read more...
In the Tantric and Taosit traditions it's often recommended that men should abstain from ejaculating, which is a challenging concept for modern men!
I believe it’s not about you should or shouldn’t, but how you orgasm. So here are some thoughts from a man who practices mindful love-making, and agrees with me that it's not what you do but how you do it. read more...
- Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
- Take Your Penis for a Walk!
- It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
- Become a Sensual Explorer
- Q&A: My Wife Won't Pleasure Herself in Front of Me
- Subtle Shifts to Great Sex
- Q&A: My Husband Can't Keep an Erection, and He Smokes Lots of Marajuana
- Love in the Time of COVID-19
- Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Climax from Oral Sex and I'm Worried
- Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
- Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Like Kissing - what to do?
- Communing - deep intimate connection
- Q&A: We Want to Try a Threesome - how do we do it safely?
- On Being A Human in a Female Body
- Q&A: How Do We Connect After So Much Stress?
to LOVELIFE News for regular inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!