One of the main differences between 'standard' modern sexual practices and the more alternative, spiritual sexual practices is the attitude to orgasm.
In the mainstream, orgasm is generally considered a highly desirable, usually necessary, part of sex, and generally the bigger the better and the more the merrier.
In the Tantric/Taoist approaches there is a strong emphasis on not having an orgasm. Which to many modern Westerners seems crazy, especially for those who think the whole point of sex is orgasm. read more...
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Once you've been practicing the basic exercises for a while, you should feel a change in your pelvis, feeling more present and connected to your genital region. This is a good thing.
Give your pelvic floor a squeeze now, notice how it connects you to your pelvic area. Breath into your belly and do some more squeezes, nice and relaxed.
Let’s look at some advanced pleasures;
I received a passionate response from a man in relation to one of my blog post: “Feminine Receptivity and the Go-Getter Kind of Girl”:
I was asked this question from a chap in America:
"Recently I asked the folks at "Dear Cupid" a question about the etiquette of when a man may permissibly glance at a woman's breasts. For some reason they found my question "inappropriate to publish." To me given the fact that heterosexual relationships start with a man and women visually interacting with one another that the question of when it is okay to glance at a woman's breasts seems extraordinarily fundamental. Many men don't seem to know that it isn't bad to look because hardly anybody tells them they can. So what is the deal and can't somebody write something on this?"
This was my reply:
What is the number one thing that makes a man a great lover?
Without sensuality, when a man makes love to his partner, there can be no real connection. Without that connection, the sex becomes uninteresting, even a turn-off for the woman, and the sex dies. read more...
I know men intimately. It’s one of the blessings of my work. Hundreds of men have opened themselves up to me, baring their souls, telling me how they feel at the most basic, the most sensitive and the most intimate levels of their being.
One thing I have come to realise - men need a muse.
To a man, his beloved is so much more than just someone to have sex with. She is his inspiration, his reason for being, she is what gives him meaning and drive in life. When a man connects deeply with his woman, when he makes beautiful love with her, he feels all-powerful, as though he could conquer the world - and he does!
Unfortunately, because we’ve had a back-to-front view of sexuality in western society for so long (millennia), society as a whole doesn’t realise this. Men aren’t going to say anything because they’ve been brought up to suppress themselves and their emotions. They’re also dealing with a male stereotype that doesn’t match them, so they often feel wrong. read more...
The masculine sexual energy is like fire: it comes on quickly, burns brightly and extinguishes quickly.
The feminine sexual energy is like water: it’s slow to heat up, but once it’s boiling it will boil and boil and boil and boil…
So if we divide sex into two phases, desire and response, then the masculine has more energy in the desire phase and the feminine has more energy in the response phase.
This is why men generally tend to have a stronger libido, and why women have a greater range and intensity of arousal and orgasmic response. read more...
At my Black Belt in the Bedroom seminars I get the participating men to stand in a circle and and simply breathe, circulating their sexual energy around their bodies. Each time it is, simply, stunning. The only way to describe it is to use a rather old-fashioned and religious term; it is a State of Grace. With every group, the peace and presence manifested by these men is magnificent. If only their women could be there to experience it.
I love to stand in the middle of the circle and feel that gorgeous masculine energy. When I have a female assistant there, I invite her to stand in the circle to feel it too. Every woman who has done this has been amazed at the sensation.
Experiences like this confirm my purpose in the world to enable people to connect with themselves and through that with their partners, and through that ultimately to connect with everything.
On behalf of the women of the world, thanks guys! You’re awesome!
I am bravely, perhaps foolhardedly, but definitely doggedly running a Blackbelt in the Bedroom seminar on Monday evening.
Why do I say doggedly? Because men are so bloody hard to get to a workshop on sex! read more...
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- Become a Sensual Explorer
- Q&A: My Wife Won't Pleasure Herself in Front of Me
- Subtle Shifts to Great Sex
- Q&A: My Husband Can't Keep an Erection, and He Smokes Lots of Marajuana
- Love in the Time of COVID-19
- Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Climax from Oral Sex and I'm Worried
- Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
- Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Like Kissing - what to do?
- Communing - deep intimate connection
- Q&A: We Want to Try a Threesome - how do we do it safely?
- On Being A Human in a Female Body
- Q&A: How Do We Connect After So Much Stress?
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