The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

Peace, Pleasure and Goodwill to All

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, December 18, 2015


Happy festive season! ’Tis the season for peace, pleasure and good will to all!

What’s this got to do with your love life?

Firstly - “’tis the season for peace”.

By peace I mean that inner stillness and calm that allows for presence. When you’ve got a head full of busyness it’s very hard to tune off and become still and present. You can still have pretty good sex, but it tends to be distracted, unconnected and therefore ultimately unsatisfying. So, during this time when most people have time off, focus on the peace, find the moments of quiet and tune into that. Then take that feeling into your lovemaking. It’s from that deep space that realness emerges and the sex can become whatever is real for you at the time, wild or tender or crazy as, whatever. The thing is that it’s real, it comes from within you, not some expectation or act imposed from outside. read more...

Come From A Place of "Yes!"

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, November 20, 2015

I had a good chat recently with a woman who loves to make love with her husband, she said that she never refuses her husband, that she always comes from a place of "Yes!".

Apparently her mother had drilled into her that it was the best way to stay happy and connected in a marriage, and it was good advice - regular, quality love-making definitely strengthens a relationship.

I had to agree, I too like to say "Yes!" to sex (and when I say ’sex’ I mean love-making not just intercourse, not even genital interaction) - and I'd love it if you could too and definitely not in a “just do it” kind of way. I want you to say “Yes!", not “Oh well, if I must” or “Ok, if you’ll shut up about it” or “Well, OK. I suppose you did vacuum the house…” read more...

Neuroplasticity - Moulding Your Brain for Better Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, September 04, 2015

It’s interesting to observe the participants of a retreat. 

As the days pass there’s an observable change in them, and they all report a significant change within themselves.

This is a great example of neuroplasticity - the brain changing its circuitry.

Given the opportunity for stillness and guided activities and reflection, the circuits of these people change quite rapidly.

This change in the brain allows for definite and continued positive change from that moment on. read more...

Bonking on the Right Side of the Brain

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 11, 2015

For great sex you’ve got to get out of your head. Or at least, out of the left side of your head.

The left side of your brain is the logical, analytical side. It’s useful in much of life but it tends to get in the way when you’re having sex. read more...

The Reason Why Humans Are So Sexual

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Why are humans so sexual? 

Because our babies are born too early.

Yes, you read that correctly, humans have evolved to be highly sexual because our babies are born too early. read more...

How to Talk to Kids About Sex - and why you need to

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 23, 2015

I remember when my eldest son came home from school one day when he was five, giggling and snickering and asking us if we had (giggle giggle, cover mouth, snicker): “S…!?” He was absolutely stunned when we replied: “Yes, that’s Mummy and Daddy’s Cuddle Time.” read more...

Turning Sex Lives Upside-Down - It’s My Life’s Work!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Take a group of couples who love each other, put them in a beautiful environment with no distractions, teach them to connect more deeply, inspire them to explore and play, and what do you get…?

Well, as one man who attended my Bali retreat put it:

"I thought this retreat would expand our sex life, but it didn’t so much expand as turn our sex life upside down! I’m now seeing the world with a new, exciting, slightly bewildering light.” read more...

What’s Your Eroticism - Intimate, Wild, Fun?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Have sex that is intimate - gentle, deep and tender:

Go ahead – stare into each others eyes while barely moving. Make love ever so slowly. Stroke every inch of your partner’s body. Whisper poetry in her ear. Visualise a bond of energy joining your hearts. Alternate four short strokes with one slow and long. Sigh and moan and quiver and shiver. Make blissful love!

Have sex that is erotic - wild, lusty and wicked:
Go ahead - bring out the handcuffs and tie yourselves up, tie yourselves down. Wear crotchless leather knickers and 10-inch stilettos. Talk dirty to each other. Drip candle wax on each other’s skin. Play slave and master. Take explicit photos of yourselves. Yell and groan and bite and growl. Let loose and fuck!

Have sex that is playful – exuberant, mischievous and outrageous:
Go ahead – dress up as a French maid and tickle him with your feather duster while he plays dead. Smear each other with strawberry jam and lick it off. Pour champagne over yourselves. Stop the car and have sex on the side of the road. Do it by an open window where you might be seen or heard. Be silly, giggle and fall down laughing. Have a good bonk!

And, of course, you can make love and fuck and bonk all in the same bout of love-making. It’s all possible. All of it.

30 Nights of Nookie!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, August 29, 2014

How much closer could you and your partner get if you engaged in nookie every night for thirty nights…?

Find out for yourself in the 30 Nights of Nookie Challenge! read more...

Learning Tantra in Paradise

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 27, 2014

I have just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life - running the first ever five-day Luscious Lovers Retreat in Bali!

It’s hard to describe how wonderful it has been to spend that amount of time with ten couples all committed to deepening their connection and creating more beautiful and gorgeous sexual relating.


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