The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

Tools for Self-Validation from a Luscious Woman

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A graduate of one of my Luscious Woman Workshops wrote to me and said that intellectually she understood the concept of self-validation, but wasn’t able to make it real until she attended my workshop.
She writes:

“For me, self-validation has required putting into practice things you advocated in Luscious Woman:

Mastering The Art Of Vaginal Stimulation

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Once you’ve navigated your partner’s vagina and got to know the G, A and Ohh Spots a little better let’s look at how you can stimulate all those good spots for maximum effect. read more...

G, A and Ohhhh-Spots

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, April 17, 2012

You might not be quite sure where it is, but you’ve probably heard of the G-spot. 
Are you aware that there are other “spots” in the vagina too?

It’s good to know the geography of your own or your partner’s vagina - there are some good spots in there!

The G-spot is the one that gets all the press these days, there are whole books written about it. To be honest though, it’s not the favourite part of my vagina. It’s good, but for me the O-spot is better, and the A-spot is best of all!

Feminine Receptivity and the Go-Getter Kind of Gal

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I was asked recently to comment on the view that too many women in the West are too actively doing things to be able to attract a man, that “if you have a feminine core, your natural essence isn't to pursue, but to be pursued.” The implication in the question was that if you’re out there and active in the world, then you can’t have that receptive feminine core.

A Woman's Body Opens In Stages

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 16, 2011

One of the main reasons women don’t reach their orgasmic potential, and why men miss out on the pleasure of their woman reaching that level, is that they go too far too soon.

A woman’s body opens up in stages. If you rush the process, she won’t be able to get there. If you kiss her before she’s ready, she won’t like it. If you touch her breasts before she’s ready she’ll be repulsed and feel like you’re groping here. If you get genital before she’s ready it will feel unpleasant, even painful, and if you enter her before she’s ready she’ll feel used/abused/bored/in pain/contemptuous, or any number of negative emotions far from the ecstatic pleasure that her man is hoping for.

Fire and Water: The Masculine and Feminine Sexual Energies

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The masculine sexual energy is like fire: it comes on quickly, burns brightly and extinguishes quickly.

The feminine sexual energy is like water: it’s slow to heat up, but once it’s boiling it will boil and boil and boil and boil…

So if we divide sex into two phases, desire and response, then the masculine has more energy in the desire phase and the feminine has more energy in the response phase.

This is why men generally tend to have a stronger libido, and why women have a greater range and intensity of arousal and orgasmic response.

High Libido Women Keep Their Water Energy Simmering

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Masculine sexual energy is like fire, it comes on quickly, burns brightly and extinguishes quickly. 

Feminine sexual energy is like water: it takes longer to warm up, but once it’s hot it will boil and boil and boil…

Valuing the Feminine

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 03, 2010

I believe we strongly undervalue the feminine in this society. It’s a theme I deal with over and over again. Yes, we had women’s liberation in the 70s, and that was a great thing, which has led to a definite improvement in the status of women.

So far so good.

But to achieve that status women had to prove that they could be like men, which they did. That’s fine, but that only showed that women could be masculine and meet masculine values. It didn’t raise the value of the feminine. Which is why several decades on women have to be like men to succeed in society, that is to say, to embody the masculine. read more...

The Great G-Spot & Female Ejaculation Debate!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Firstly, let me apologise on behalf of my profession that, in the early 21st century, we still don’t know how women’s bodies work! I find it appalling that there’s still debate over what’s in our vaginas and what effect touching various parts produces! read more...

Masculine & Feminine Sexual Energies

Jacqueline Hellyer - Thursday, March 04, 2010

I incorporate the energetic aspect of sex strongly into the work I do with private clients and in workshops. Personally I believe that without this understanding of sex it’s very difficult to correct problems and to move towards reaching your sexual potential.

The energetic traditions I draw from are both Tantric and Taoist, as well as my own experiences in the martial arts, particularly aikido (which translates as ‘the way of harmony’ and which is extraordinarily like sex, in the sense that is simultaneously still and moving, physical and spiritual, strong and soft, and constantly requiring connection and flow).

There are some very useful analogies about sexual energy and I love to share with modern people that they generally find quite illuminating. Here’s one:

1 2 3 4

lovelife rss feed Subscribe to the Blog Feed

Listen to the audio version - the LoveLife Podcast!


Recent Posts


Earlier Posts



to LOVELIFE News for regular inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!

For more great sex advice -
read my books!