The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 24, 2014

How many people are in relationship limbo, not knowing whether they should stay in the relationship or leave it? I see them all the time, mentally adding up the positives and the negatives, weighing them up against each other, hoping to come to some logical decision about whether to stay or go.

Trying to weigh up the positives and the negatives as a means of deciding whether the relationship is good or not is never very effective. Some days it weighs in favour of one decision, some days another…

It doesn’t come down to whether the positives outweigh the negatives. It actually comes down to some simple, key points. read more...

If You Want A Mature Relationship You Have To Be Mature

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, October 29, 2013

My clients are all adults, although in some cases it’s hard to believe: they come to me wanting a positive, mature relationship with good sexual relating - yet they act like kids in the playground! They bully, they whine, they play games, they lie, they ignore, they’re rude, they’re insensitive…. And they think that this behaviour will result in mutual sexual desire!? read more...

Slay the Pink Elephants!

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, September 17, 2013

That’s what a couple said to me recently: “We’re slaying the pink elephants!” These elephants had been sitting in all the corners of their relationship and taking up so much room they were feeling stifled and could hardly breathe, let alone relate.

Winter's a Time for Sexual Growth

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Well Winter has finally hit! Cold miserable rainy days that just make you want to curl up and snuggle in bed…Mmmm. Add a cup of hot chocolate and thou…

In Winter our energies focus inwards, like the seed that waits under the snow before it blooms in spring. So for we humans it’s a wonderful time to focus on our inner selves and allow time for gestating. read more...

Fill Up Your Self Love Tank

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, April 09, 2013

I'm a little embarrassed to say this, but a couple of weeks ago I was in an emergency ward with a suspected heart attack. Yes, me, the supposed expert on chilling out, taking it slow, enjoying life and love....Oops!

So what happened? After all, I do regular yoga, meditation, relaxation...or do I? read more...

The Cup of Tea Approach to Sexual Self-Coaching

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, February 25, 2013


The good old-fashioned cuppa. What a wonderful space it creates for sharing and openness. People have been bonding over cups of tea for millennia.

A cup of tea gives you a time-frame, something warm to hold, and a shared activity which creates your own ‘cone of science’ in which to talk and share.

That’s exactly the kind of space you need regularly in your relationship. A space where the two of you can relax and just ‘be’ together, with no agenda, no external pressures, just you and me, having a chat over a cup of tea.

Trust Means Being OK with Not Knowing

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, February 05, 2013

 Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas from Pexels

"How can I ever trust him/her again?”

Client after client pleads this after discovering hurtful deceits by their beloveds. 
What they are really asking is: "How can I ever be 100% sure that my partner won't ever do this again?"

The honest answer is: you can't. In fact, you never could.

You can never be absolutely sure that your partner will never ever be deceitful or hurt you in some way.

The very definition of ‘trust’ is ‘not knowing’. 

Renegotiate Your Contract

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, January 29, 2013

 Photo by Jopwell from Pexels

When things get tough, couples tend to either:

  • Separate, generally accompanied by bitter and twisted feelings or
  • Put up with it and flat-line, living lives of quiet desperation.
It’s far better to go with option three:
  • Renegotiate your relationship.

Observing Love

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, October 02, 2012

One of he great blessings of my work is that I observe love. Whether it’s couples in private sessions or couples in workshops, I observe, and feel, the expression of their love and desire for each other. It’s not something we see often in this society and it is a very beautiful, inspiring thing.

I’ve written about two small case studies in my blogs this past month: You Can Make Love With A Kiss and Be Nice - It Works. Small, beautiful, examples of how when a couple come together with openness, honesty and respect, that is, with love, they can connect deeply and express their love physically, emotionally, even spiritually, with deep feeling and with gorgeous eroticism.

I saw this over the past weekend in my women’s only retreat, Luscious Woman, in the Blue Mountains. It was the first retreat I’ve ever run, and it exceeded my expectations. It was, quite simply, beautiful. The beauty of the nature, the slowness of the pace, the space for personal reflection, allowed everyone to sink in to themselves, to find the peace and strength as women to trust and open to their partners (which I hear they did on their return home...)

Crafting the Balance

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, September 04, 2012

I’m a working mother of three, so life gets pretty busy! When you live a life like mine, you have to focus on balance. I'm constantly struggling with my mad innate urges to completely overcommit and take on too much (well, it is all so interesting and so necessary!). I, like many women out there, may be a super woman, but I am not Superwoman, and I have limits. There has to be a balance. And that balance has to be crafted.  read more...

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