The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

Can Fisting Be Fabulous?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Of course, anything can be fabulous! Double entry with gerkins stuffed up your nose could be fabulous - if it’s something you genuinely desire, it’s consensual and practiced safely.

As I constantly repeat: it’s not what you, do it’s how you do it.

If you ever think you ‘should’ do something sexual, whether it’s to be cool, or because your partner wants you to, or because you think it’s what everyone else does, but you don’t really want to - then don’t do it. read more...

Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, February 17, 2015

 I don’t really like using a cheesy romance as a basis for sex education, but hey, with all the fuss about 50 Shades The Movie, here I go.

But before I do, let’s clarify a few things:

1. It’s a story not a documentary.

Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down - how to add restraint to your sex life

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, February 10, 2015

 Grab a tie, or a stocking, and wrap it around your partner’s wrists. Then kiss them.

There you go, that’s bondage.

Although in fact you don’t even need an implement of restraint, you can just tell your partner not to move, and if they agree and don’t, then that’s bondage too! read more...

The Sensual Dom(me)

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, December 16, 2014


Sensual, tantric play heightens pleasure and so can kinky play. Put the two together and you go places - to Sub-Space and Dom-Space.

Playing with dominance and submission is about playing with the yin and yang of sexuality. When done with extreme connection and respect it is a beautiful experience. read more...

Explore Your Fantasies

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, November 18, 2014


What would you like to do sexually if you were brave enough to do it?

And, let’s be honest here, what would you like to do if you could be sure that it would be a wonderful experience and couldn’t possibly go terribly wrong? read more...

Dress-Ups! How to have fun with role-play.

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, November 04, 2014

I was asked these questions recently for a women’s magazine: read more...

Consensual Non-Monogamy

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, October 14, 2014

I’ve written elsewhere about how humans are not necessarily naturally monogamous, and that’s it’s a social norm rather than a biological imperative.

It’s a very strong social norm, and anyone who goes against that norm risks pretty severe social disapproval, particularly if it’s done in a deceitful way. Unfortunately most non-monogamy is deceitful, one party has an affair, or several, and when the other finds out it can be ruinous for the relationship. I am completely against non-consensual non-monogamy, ie cheating on your partner.

It doesn’t have to be one or the other though, monogamy or cheating. If monogamy works for you, great, if not, there are more options than being unfaithful to your partner in a deceitful way.

It is possible to be non-monogamous – with consent. That’s the difference, it has to be consensual. When a couple both agree to be non-monogamous and continually assess the situation and their own rules and boundaries, then it can be a successful approach to living and loving. read more...

Languid 69

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, September 30, 2014


Regular 69 can be pretty challenging, receiving and giving focused pleasure at the same time - aargh!

And if you’re still stuck in the belief that genital stimulation has to lead to orgasm, it's even worse - how can you orgasm when you’re distracted with giving the pleasure, or vice versa??

I’m more an exponent of Languid 69.

Spice Alone Tastes Terrible...

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, July 08, 2014

…you have to add it to something that’s already good.

I mean, put a teaspoon of saffron or chilli into your mouth, chew some cinnamon sticks or crunch on some dried juniper berries, and it will be a pretty unimpressive gustatory experience. It might even be nauseatingly awful.

Add those same spices to a curry, a stew, a cake, and it can transform the good into the exceptionally sublime.

It’s the same with sex.

Fetishes are Fine

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Most of us have fetishes of some kind or another. If you’re lucky, they’re socially acceptable, and not even considered fetishes - such as if you’re a woman who gets turned on wearing lace knickers or stiletto shoes; but if your fetishes are not socially acceptable - such as if you’re a man who gets turned on wearing lace knickers or stiletto shoes, well, then you’ve got problems. For example, in our society in general:

1 2 3 4

lovelife rss feed Subscribe to the Blog Feed

Listen to the audio version - the LoveLife Podcast!


Recent Posts


Earlier Posts



to LOVELIFE News for regular inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!

For more great sex advice -
read my books!