The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!


Growing Better With Age

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 03, 2014



In the spiritual traditions it is said that a man can’t become a good lover until he reaches the age of 50, because until then he is too obsessed with his penis…

That’s a slightly different approach to our standard approach to sex, which is all about the penis and the physical.

Yes, physical sexuality naturally declines with age. Yet our spirituality should grow. So combining sexuality with spirituality, rather than with physicality, means sexuality continues to grow. read more...



Learning Tantra in Paradise

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 27, 2014



I have just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life - running the first ever five-day Luscious Lovers Retreat in Bali!




It’s hard to describe how wonderful it has been to spend that amount of time with ten couples all committed to deepening their connection and creating more beautiful and gorgeous sexual relating.

 read more...



Plugging In - Sex Without Movement

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, March 18, 2014



Have you ever tried having sex without any intention to orgasm? Without even moving?


Try it, in fact try it regularly – just lie together, penis inside vagina, and do nothing.

That’s it.

Not much to it really. read more...



Love is all so there’s no need to fear the dark

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, February 11, 2014




Love is all so there’s no need to fear the dark. You have to balance the light and the dark, not fear it.

You have to balance the masculine and feminine, not deny one nor enhance the other.

Love is all, it has no opposite. The only opposite is when we deny the love, when we block it out, when we feel alone.

Feel the love and there is no fear. So all can be encompassed and the balance allowed.
 read more...



Winter's a Time for Sexual Growth

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 25, 2013



Well Winter has finally hit! Cold miserable rainy days that just make you want to curl up and snuggle in bed…Mmmm. Add a cup of hot chocolate and thou…

In Winter our energies focus inwards, like the seed that waits under the snow before it blooms in spring. So for we humans it’s a wonderful time to focus on our inner selves and allow time for gestating. read more...



My Ejaculation Opens the Door to Deeper Orgasm

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 28, 2013

 Photo by Collis from Pexels

In the Tantric and Taosit traditions it's often recommended that men should abstain from ejaculating, which is a challenging concept for modern men!

I believe it’s not about you should or shouldn’t, but how you orgasm. So here are some thoughts from a man who practices mindful love-making, and agrees with me that it's not what you do but how you do it.   read more...



To Come or Not To Come

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 07, 2013

 Photo by Mahrael Boutros from Pexels

One of the main differences between 'standard' modern sexual practices and the more alternative, spiritual sexual practices is the attitude to orgasm.

In the mainstream, orgasm is generally considered a highly desirable, usually necessary, part of sex, and generally the bigger the better and the more the merrier.

In the Tantric/Taoist approaches there is a strong emphasis on not having an orgasm. Which to many modern Westerners seems crazy, especially for those who think the whole point of sex is orgasm. read more...



Beyond Orgasm

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, March 26, 2013




 read more...



Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, November 06, 2012



I ran a pre-conference workshop at the Australian Society of Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists (now known as Society of Australian Sexologists) on incorporating Tantra into Sex Therapy. read more...



Tantric Kink

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, July 10, 2012


I love Tantra and I love elements of kink.
The two combined are what I call Sensual Kink, and I don't think it gets much better than that. So with the current interest in kink that's been generated by the overwhelming popularity of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, I thought I might share my thoughts.

To me, Tantra and Kink are at one of the end spectrum; and the alcohol-fueled model of sex, along with porn and raunch culture, are at the other. The former are about depth and connection, resulting in ecstatic states and altered consciousness; and the latter is about superficiality and performance-style sexuality that has little if any positive outcome from what I can see. read more...



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