Soft, rounded curves of femininity: breasts are the archetypal symbol of womanliness.

It’s probably the reason we women have so much trouble with them! They’re too small or too big, too saggy or the nipples are funny… We don’t pay them a lot of attention, and when we do, it’s generally negative thoughts.

In the Tantric tradition though, a woman’s breasts are her positive pole, and it’s essential that we focus positively on our positive pole (and that our partners do too).

The lack of attention to a woman’s breasts and over attention to her genitals is one of the reasons why women can find it hard to become aroused sexually. So it’s important that a woman’s breasts are honoured by her partner as part of their sexual play, that her partner caresses and holds them with love and desire (and some delicious nipple play too if she’s into that!)

A lovely simple exercise you can do to become more aware of your breasts and their beautiful energy is to sit facing each other. If the partner is male he brings his attention to his penis (which is a man’s positive pole), feeling the power and goodness of his... read more

Download Audio: Love Your Breasts

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When a woman gets to a level of arousal where she’s in a different ‘zone’ - love-drunk, in a heightened state, an altered state of consciousness - the sex changes.

There’s a different energy in that state, strange things happen. You can become aware of different sensations in your body: feelings of ecstasy and rapture, of transport and transcendence.

The description of this state sounds almost religious.

The pleasure is there, yet it’s not just genital, it suffuses the body and the mind.

Sex in this state can be wild and crazy or it can be completely serene, and it can go from one to the other and everywhere in-between.

She can spend time in what appears to be suspended animation, barely breathing, hovering in an ecstatic state.

She can feel animal energies move through her - such as big cats and snakes - and she will roar and writhe in tune with these energies.

She can feel goddess energies - energies of compassion, of destruction, of power, of lust.

She can sense the presence of beings and entities, gods and goddesses.
... read more

Download Audio:When A Woman Is Free To Be Herself Sex Takes On A Spiritual Dimension

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I had an interesting few days recently, running a workshop for women, followed two days later with a seminar for men. 

For me it was truly wonderful to work with a group of 16 women over two days and feel and see them come more fully into the strength and softness of their femininity, and become more sexually confident and expressive. Such gorgeous strong feminine women! 

And then two days later to work with a group of 15 men for an evening of coming into the strength and softness of their masculinity, becoming more sexually confident and (according to feedback from participants and/or their partners) more sexually expressive. Such gorgeous strong masculine men!

It really brought home to me how equal men and women are in their innate sexual energy, but how differently that energy is expressed.

Vive la difference!

We are all equal, and thank god for social changes that have given reasonable social, political, economic, etc equality between the sexes. God forbid that we should ever go back to a time when women were considered inferior to men in so many ways or that that inferiority be entrenched in society.

But equal does not mean same. Women... read more

Download Audio: Strength in Softness, Softness in Strength

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Download Audio: A Beautiful Vulva is like a Luscious Hamburger

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A wonderful new book has just been released, 101 Vagina. The left-hand pages each have a black and white photo of a woman, front on, from belly to thigh, nude. On the right hand page is a piece written by the women about her genitals and how she feels about them.

So, depending on how much hair she has, you can see her vulva, looking like a little hamburger nestled between her thighs.

I love those little hamburgers! And from what I’ve heard from men, they do too!

It’s such a shame though that so many women don’t love their little hamburger. To the extent that there is a boom in women, particularly young women, having their genitals mutilated by plastic surgeons so that their hamburger looks like just the bun, without any filling.

I’m using deliberately emotional language here, because I think it’s appalling that women have such a negative image of their bodies that they think spending large amounts of money to mutilate a part of the body that is rarely shown, is a desirable thing.

Who said a woman’s inner labia should be shorter than her outer labia? Or that the edges of her... read more

Download Audio: Finger Finesse

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A clitoral orgasm is a very fine thing.  It can leave you drained though.

If you approach clitoral orgasm like a male ejaculatory orgasm, then it becomes about a build-up of localised sensation leading to an explosive orgasm where you feel an outward burst of energy. Momentarily pleasurable, but often flat afterwards, and you’re generally not able to continue lovemaking afterwards (whether alone or with a partner). You feel kind of, well, done.

A far better way to approach clitoral orgasm is the slow build, allowing arousal to rise and fall, losing yourself in the pleasure of the sensation moment by moment. Then when the orgasm arrives, you open to it and fall into it. There is no tension, there is no grasping for the orgasm, and there is no sense of forcing it. It’s a welling up and releasing. And that releasing feels more than just genital, as though your whole body is washed with warmth and pleasure.

Then you can leave your hand (or your partner’s) over your clitoris, just touching it lightly without movement, palm over your pubis, as you relax into the feeling and allow the waves of pleasure to wash over you. This can help maintain the... read more