What level of desire do each of you have to:
- Visit the in-laws
- Learn a foreign language for an overseas trip
- Go running in the morning
- Help the kids with their homework
- Plant a vegetable garden
- Renovate the bathroom
- Have sex?
There’s always a lower desire partner, and always a higher desire partner. Every couple has to come to terms with that basic difference and work with it. I’ve had three major relationships in my life (well, four actually, but the first was as a teenager so we never found out if there was a higher or lower desire partner - we just grabbed the chance whenever we could!).
In the first I was the higher desire partner; in the second, we were pretty equal, with periods of variation, such as when our three children were babies where some modification and negotiation was required to see us through; and in my current relationship I am definitely the lower desire partner.
I sometimes stamp my feet (light-heartedly)... read more