Sex advice, sex tips and relationship advice

#100: Celibacy, Sexuality and Spirituality

Published Tuesday, August 05, 2014



In many religious and spiritual traditions, including mainstream Christianity, whose values permeate modern Western culture, sexuality has not been considered spiritual. Spirituality was seen as lofty and above the physical, so to be spiritual, closer to God, one had to reject the physical, and therefore the sexual.

Sexuality was seen as an unfortunate necessity for continuing the human species, so married people had to have sex, although with the implication that it wouldn’t be particularly enjoyable, one would be doing it to procreate. The truly spiritual, though, would be celibate.

Like most things to do with sexuality in the West, this is actually back to front.

Many, but not all, spiritually developed people do feel less like sex, just as they also feel less like food (or certain foods like meat or sugar or spices). So spiritual development can lead to a desire for celibacy. However, assuming the opposite is right - forcing people to be celibate - does not actually lead to people becoming more spiritual. In fact it can do the opposite. As history so often proves, prohibition focuses the desires on what’s not allowed, leading to compulsive, addictive behaviours.

You see, the reason why highly spiritual people often don’t feel the need for sex, is that they’re already in a state of bliss. As one Buddhist monk replied when asked how he coped without sex: “Why would I want sex when I’m coming all the time?”

So celibacy is quite a natural and desirable choice for spiritual people.

It’s not the only one though. You can be feeling the bliss and still engage in gorgeous love-making, which will encourage and increase the bliss.

What you will lose as you develop spiritually, though, is a craving for sex, especially the high-intensity, genital-focused sex that tends to be promoted as ‘good’ sex. Just as your body will no longer want foods that don’t nourish it, you won’t want sex that doesn’t nourish you.

As you develop spiritually, the type of sex you have will naturally evolve along with you. It will become an integral part of your life. You’ll feel sexual energy permeate your life. It won’t be sex separated from the rest of life, you will live life as sexual expression. If that includes actual genital engagement, that’s all well and good. If you find that physical sex is no longer part of your self-expression, that’s great too.

The important thing is that your sexuality, celibate or active, is a natural extension of your true expression of self.

Celibacy can be a desirable choice for spiritual people, but it's not the only 'right' one.


read more


#64: Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra

Published Monday, November 05, 2012



I recently ran a pre-conference workshop at a national Sex Therapy Conference on incorporating Tantra into Sex Therapy. I was a little nervous as it was the first workshop I’d ever run for other professionals, till now all my workshops and retreats have been for the general public. It was very well received though, with excellent feedback. I could see that a lot of people were sceptical initially, but over the day they got into it and could see why it is effective.

I started without much introduction by telling them to remove their ‘therapist hats’: “Tantra is not something you can just talk about, you have to experience it. We’re going to get you out of your busy, analytical therapist heads and into your bodies…”

So I dimmed the lights and over the next few hours I got them breathing to their bellies, feeling present in their bodies. We had what I light-heartedly called “tantric group sex’ by simply gazing into the eyes of every other person in the room. I led them on a guided meditation so they could experience an inspiring first sexual encounter, and then experience how that would feel if their whole life had been similarly positive encounters. We played with the yin and yang of sexual energy, giving and receiving, leading and yielding.

As with any group, I could see and sense them softening. The atmosphere of the room mellowed, ‘Mona Lisa’ smiles hung on their faces, the years dropped away.

After lunch, while their brains lolled about in that relaxed state of the Tantric ‘high’, I explained the science of Tantra. I explained how the practices prime our bodies to open to sex; enabling us to slow down and stay present; how it allows a couple to ‘sink in to sync in’.

“Tantra,” I said, “is the art and craft of mindful sex.”

We then concluded the day with an animated discussion on applying the concepts and various practices of Tantra in the therapeutic setting: our role as therapists in modelling a positive sexuality; how to explain this to clients; what could be done in the therapy room and what are useful homework activities.

Hopefully this is one small step towards making society a little more sex positive.


read more


#49: The Tantric Quickie

Published Monday, March 19, 2012


There’s a misbelief that Tantra takes a long time, that it requires hours of sensual, ecstatic pleasuring. It can be, but it can also be quick.
 
 Tantric sex is not about the amount of time that it takes, it’s about the presence that it’s done with. When two people come together with mindfulness, when they are completely present with every movement, when their lovemaking is a flowing dance - it doesn’t matter if it’s a gentle snuggle under the sheets late at night or early morning, or if it’s a rough and vigorous ravishing, or indeed hours of sensuality, it’s the dance and flow of connected energy between the parties. (This applies just as much to solo sex or group sex.)

If you are new to the Tantric or mindful approach to sex you may need to take time to truly connect, engaging in breath and sensual touch activities to allow yourself to ‘sink in to sync in’.
 
 If you are experienced with this work then you may need no preparation at all, the sinking into yourself and the syncing in between you happens in moments. Personally, I love it in the morning when my lover rolls over to cuddle me and I invite his penis in with no preparation, often it’s not even particularly hard. We can lie there together with little or no movement, at other times it moves into some serious ravishing! But it doesn’t last long because the day looms.
 
 That’s the beauty of the Tantric mindful approach, you can engage in the bathroom while the kids are having their breakfast, you can nip into a spare room while out at a party, in the car, before you get up, as you’re getting ready to go out.
 
 It’s not about orgasm, about needing to ‘get off’; it’s about connection and generating a delicious sexual energy within and between you.
 
 In fact, you need to have these quick and deep connections, it’s all part of keeping the connection between you strong, keeping the ‘mmm’ factor alive in your relationship. It also keeps the woman’s ‘water energy’ simmering, so she’s open and receptive and coming from a place of ‘yes!’ - or reigniting his ‘fire energy’ if his spark has gone out.
 
 It’s about having a seamless transition between all aspects of life; allow life to flow rather than putting all your energy into controlling it. 

 

My book 'Sex Secrets for Busy People' is essentially about the Tantric Quickie.

read more


#31: Teaching Tantra in Thailand

Published Monday, May 09, 2011

I ran a Tantra workshop last night, here on a permaculture farm in northern Thailand.
 
 It was magical. The fact that the lights blew just as we started, and we had to rely on candles added to the magic.
 
 Twenty of us sat in a circle, alternating men and women, in the open-aired pergola which is the hub of the farm. The night was still, and the candles cast a soft flickering light around the group.

To bond the group, we shared yellow energy from our left ears, passing it through to the right ear of the person on our left, till the whole group was connected through our ears by this yellow energy.
 
 We then moved into breath work. This is the basis of all energetic and spiritual work, sexual or otherwise. Bringing your breath deeper into your torso, so you’re breathing with your belly, is fundamental to linking your entire body and being able to circulate energy freely.
 
 Then we worked our pelvic floor muscles. This girdle of muscle in our pelvis needs to be toned to keep us strong physically and to be able to move energy.
 
 From there we practiced moving energy, circulating it around our bodies, following the Microcosmic Circuit. Using breath, the pelvic floor, and an uncluttered mind, this is a powerful way to move energy around the body, keeping it charged up and vital.
 
 Next, we focused on our chakras, with a guided meditation to identify and feel them, then to breathe to each using the Flute Breath.
 
 Once everyone was breathing freely and the energy flowing internally, we did partner work. First, a fire breath kneeling and facing each other. This is the one which often gets people going into a whole-body energetic orgasm. No-one overtly did this time, although one couple told me they had to stop for fear of embarrassing themselves, and a few others were clearly shaking and trembling, if without the accompanying sounds.
 
 A calmer exercise followed, to sit cross-legged facing each other and touch each other’s heart chakras, and lower chakras (couples who were actually lovers touched the base chakra, pairs who weren’t touched the second chakra), circulating love energy and sexual energy.
 
 Finally, we stood and held hands. The women circulated their love energy from their heart chakras, down their left arm and into the person on their left’s right arm; the men circulated their sexual energy from their sexual chakras up their torso and down their left arm, so that both energies merged and flowed around the circle. Then we swapped. Then we circulated both love and sexual energy within our bodies and around the circle, hands touching, then slightly apart.
 
 I had to stop there as I was about to go into a full-blown energy orgasm - pure ecstasy!
 
 Wonderful stuff!
 
 As I said to the group, this is permaculture on the inside. They were there studying how to harmonise the world on the outside, this is how to harmonise themselves on the inside.
 
 This is how we will transform the world, inside and out. 

 

 

read more


#26: The Core of Tantra: Real Sex

Published Sunday, January 30, 2011


I’m going to share a little about myself here, to give you some insight into why and how I work the way I do.

  A number of years ago I realised that my experience of sex was very different to most people’s. Extended sessions of love-making, multiple (or shouldI say endless) orgasms, ecstatic states of altered consciousness were the norm, even with small children and babies, years into a relationship.

 At first I thought it was something special about my husband and I, but after our marriage ended I discovered that, nope, it was me. I went through what I call my ‘research’ period, investigating sex with a range of different partners and the response was pretty similar: “Wow, that was different”, “You really like sex don’t you”, “You need to teach this to people!”

So I set out to find out why I was different. That led me to find out more about Tantra, and I realised that although I’d never studied it formally, my years of martial arts experience, decades of yoga, meditation and mindfulness had led me to experience sex, and probably life, in a very pure, present and energetic way. Which is when I realised my true calling – to tune modern people back into the real nature and value of sex. Most people don’t have the faintest idea of our sexual potential and what the whole sex thing is about. There’s a sense that there’s got to be ‘more’, but not much guidance on how.

 I realised that of course not everyone has the time or interest to spend decades in the types of spiritual discipline I’ve followed – so my challenge has been how to get to the core of it all so as to enable busy modern people to understand and feel the essence of real sex.

 That’s where Tantra comes in. It’s a spiritual and energetic approach to sex and life that comes from ancient India. There are many other cultures that took sex seriously and studied it as an Art and as a Science – the Taoists of China and Qidosha from North America are two other well-known ones (actually, virtually any society other than Western society). These approaches to sex are much broader and deeper than that of the West, which tends to be either sleazy, prudish or clinical. Real sex is deep and erotic and poetic and intense and beautiful and bizarre, and is whatever it is at that time and at that place…

 So, back to me. I have the extraordinary privilege of spending much of my time talking to people at the most intimate level about their lives and particularly about their sex lives. So I know what’s really going on in the bedrooms of the world, I’m at the coal face so to speak. I have a pretty good idea of what people are thinking and feeling, where they're getting it wrong and the type of guidance and learning they need to find fulfillment, meaning and satisfaction in love and life. We can talk about this to some extent, and through the talking enable some pretty major changes. But talking, however inspiring, can only go so far. You have to feel it.

 Which is why I’ve taken the core concepts of all these traditions, which these days all tend to go under the general title of 'Tantra', and present them in a way that’s understandable and accessible to modern people. Sometimes these are activities that are commonly known from Tantra, sometimes they’re taken from other relevant experiences I’ve had, and quite often I’ll meditate on an issue and an activity will be virtually ‘downloaded’ into my mind. (Then I practice on my partner to see if it works – he’s so obliging!)

 That’s what my Tantric workshops are all about: getting in touch with the energy of sex through presence, then expressing it in a very real way. It’s different, and it’s life-changing. It’s not for the faint-hearted – swallow this little blue pill and there aint no turning back! (to quote The Matrix) But the reality on the other side of looking glass…Awesome.

 Well, that was sharing more of myself than I usually feel comfortable doing. But, hey, if I'm asking you to push your boundaries, I have to push some of mine!

read more


#7: Raise Your Sexual Energy

Published Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Photo by Joshua Mcknight from Pexels

Believe it or not, I’m sitting at an outdoor bar, mocktail at hand, overlooking a beach fringed with palm trees in Vietnam. It’s pretty special.  Last week I attended a Spiritual Retreat here. While it wasn’t specifically sexual in nature, you can’t separate sex and spirituality.

A key element of spiritual work, and of the Retreat, is raising your energy. You do this through meditation and mindfulness. But it’s not what we often consider meditation, which is a slowing of energy, a deep relaxation. That’s wonderful and good, but it’s different to raising the energy. When you go into meditation with the intent to raise your energy, you go places. You feel lighter, spin faster. You get messages and have visions. It is an altered consciousness.

This is why conscious sex is so good for spiritual development, because sex raises your energy. Even if you have the most basic, unconnected sex, sparks of light will still fly. So if you approach sex with presence, intent and release of self, you really do get taken to extraordinary places of exceptional ecstatic pleasure.

In these realms the genitals barely matter, they’re just a means to feel with the whole of your body and beyond your body. 

This applies to partnered sex, to solo sex, and to your relationship with life. Because life is is sex. As Paulo Coelho says “…the language of the soul is sex.” Life energy is sexual energy. We try and compartmentalise it in our society, but it’s part of everything. Living mindfully, consciously, with presence, is about raising your energy. That in itself is having a sexual relationship with life, with the universe. 

Then in the microcosm of your sexual union with another, or with yourself, you hone and enhance your ability to raise the energy, to go to ecstatic places. Then that energy is taken back into the rest of your life, you emanate it, and life itself becomes ecstatic.

Easy to say perhaps, sitting on a tropical beach with mocktail in hand! But how do you think I got here…?

Raise your energies: live mindfully, love consciously.

read more


1 2
the lovelife podcast

LISTEN VIA

tune in

Blog Search

Recent Posts

Earlier Posts

Tags

  • Great Sex
  • Men's Sexuality
  • Passion & Sexual Exploration
  • Relationship Advice
  • Sacred Sexuality
  • Sensual Sex
  • Sex Advice & Myth Busting
  • Sex Positivity
  • Sexual Desire & Connection
  • Women's Sexuality

    • Awaken pleasure & connection

    With my Couples Intimacy Masterclass!

    Read The Erotic Provocateur

    Jacqueline's regular column on Substack

    Archive

    #388 Can a Relationship Survive an Affair?
    #387: Why Does Sex Hurt? Common Causes of Painful Sex (And What You Can Do About It)
    #386: How to Last Longer During Sex
    #385: What is Relational Sexology?
    #384: Vaginismus: When Your Body Is Saying “Not Yet”
    #383: Why I Created the Erotic Provocateur
    #382: Sex and Menopause: An Evolution of Desire
    #381: Mismatched Libidos in Long-Term Relationships
    #380: What to Do About Erectile Dysfunction
    #379: The Biggest Myths About Sex Therapy (And What It’s Really Like)
    #378: At the Heart of Sexual Healing Is Joy
    #377: Why A Couples Retreat Can Change Everything
    #376: The Art of Giving in Love: How to Nourish the “Us” in Your Relationship
    #375: Bringing Science and Soul Together in the Art of Loving.
    #374: Focus Less on Erection and More on Connection
    #373: Why A Sex-Positive Lifestyle Matters - Especially Now
    #372:The Erotic as a Celebration of Life’s Goodness
    #371: Your Relationship is Like a Tripod: It Needs Three Strong Legs
    #370: Attending A Couples Retreat: A Time To Nourish Your Love
    #369: Can AI Be Met? What Emerged When I Approached AI as a Relationship Not a Tool
    #368: The Power of Erotic Language: How Words Shape Our Experience of Sex
    #367: What Is Transpersonal Sexology? And Why It Might Be What You’re Really Looking For
    #366: The Seven Flavours of Sex
    #365: How to Stay in the Simmer Zone—and Why It Matters for Your Love Life
    #364: Suggest Don't Ask
    #363: Take the Pressure Off Your Penis!
    #362: Don't Let Your Primitive Brain Rule Your Relationship
    #361: Great Sex is Not About Speed
    #360: Sexual KPIs - Key Pleasure Indicators
    #359: Your Relationship is Like a Boat that Carries you through Life
    #358: Talk 'Erotic' Not 'Dirty'
    #357: Great Sex is Rarely Spontaneous
    #356: Approaching Sex As A Spiritual Practice
    #355: You're Not Alone - Sexual Struggle is Normal
    #354: Let Nature Boost Your Libido
    #353: Invite and Envelop
    #352: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss
    #351: How to 'Start the Dominos Falling'
    #350: Move Towards Love-Led not Lust-Led Sex
    #349: The Yin & Yang of Erotic Physiology
    #348: Sex Should Age Like A Fine Wine
    #347: We All Need To “Come Out” To Our Unique Sexuality
    #346: Burn Away the Undergrowth to Allow New Growth
    #345: Don't Push a Relationship to Crisis Point, End It Sooner
    #344: When It Gets Awkward in Bed
    #343: It's Normal to Find Other People Attractive
    #342: The Dance of Initiation
    #341: We All Need A Phone Policy!
    #340: What Comes Before Consent
    #339: More than Sex-Positive, We Need to be Sex-Comfortable
    #338: Get Off the Hedonistic Treadmill!
    #337: You Can't Search for Love. It's Already There. You Can Only Remove the Barriers to Let It In
    #336: How to Communicate Complaints Effectively
    #335: Nurture Your Soul with Sex
    #334: How to Express Your Emotions Without Being "Emotional"
    #333: Q&A: We're Time Poor - How Do We Add Some Zing?
    #332: Be Conscious Not Complacent
    #331: It's OK to Disappoint Your Partner
    #330: Moans & Groans – why sound is good in sex and how to make more
    #329: Gateways to the Erotic Shift
    #328: Safety is Sexy
    #327: Pace Your Sexual Interactions
    #326: Fly on the Wall Friday - my new Video Series
    #325: When Things Get Wobbly Assume the Best and Get Curious
    #324: How Alike do You Need to be to Have a Good Relationship
    #323: Be "At Home" in Your Body
    #322: Don't Ever Stop Kissing
    #321: Consent From the Inside
    #320: How to Say No Without It Feeling Like Rejection
    #319: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 3: Sexual Transformation
    #318: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 2: Relational Transformation
    #317: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 1: Personal Transformation
    #316: Take Your Partner Off A Sexual Pedestal
    #315: Finesse Your Expertise on Each Other
    #314: A Lingering Sense of Each Other
    #313: How Do You Know When You're Having Good Sex?
    #312: Conflict is Inevitable So Learn to Prevent, Manage and Repair
    #311: The Bridgerton Effect
    #310: Cuddle plus – an essential phase of the affection-sex continuum
    #309: Moment-by-Moment Consent
    #308: How To Give (and Receive) An Erotic Spanking
    #307: Three Types of Sexual Communication: Chit-chat, In-the-moment and the Debrief
    #306: What I Desire
    #305: Lazy Sex
    #304: It's Not "Needy" to Connect - It's Human!
    #303: The Art of the Thrust
    #302: Transformational Erotica
    #301: Sex As Embodied Mindfulness Practice
    #300: So Many Ways to Eat, So Many Ways to…
    #299: Date Night or Date Day?
    #298: Teenage Love-Making
    #297: Turning Sex Lives Upside-Down - It's My Life's Work!
    #296: The Sex Store in Your Pantry
    #295: Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
    #294: Take Your Penis for a Walk!
    #293: It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
    #292: Become a Sensual Explorer
    #291: Q&A: My Wife Won't Pleasure Herself in Front of Me
    #290: Subtle Shifts to Great Sex
    #289: Q&A: My Husband Can't Keep an Erection, and He Smokes Lots of Marajuana
    #288: Love in the Time of COVID-19
    #287: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Climax from Oral Sex and I'm Worried
    #286: Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
    #285: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Like Kissing - what to do?
    #284: Communing - deep intimate connection
    #283: Q&A: We Want to Try a Threesome - how do we do it safely?
    #282: On Being A Human in a Female Body
    #281: Q&A: How Do We Connect After So Much Stress?
    #280: Get A Life! Your Sex Drive Needs the Dopamine
    #279: Q&A: My Husband Is Having An Affair and I'm Relieved
    #278: Stocking Up Your Love Larder - the key to spontaneous sex
    #277: Q&A: How Do I Flex My New Found Interest in Sex?
    #276: Intercourse as Foreplay
    #275: Q&A: Fun in the Sun - How to Have Safe Holiday Sex
    #274: Bake Your Cake Before You Ice It - the foundation of great sex
    #273: Q&A: Is It Normal to Want Sex Twice A Day?
    #272: How Has Sex Helped You Grow - Research Participants Wanted!
    #271: Q&A: How Do I Meet My Sexual Needs in a Sexless Marriage
    #270: Optimal Sexuality - Reaching Your Sexual Potential
    #269: Q&A: How Do I Get My Mojo Back?
    #268: It's the Sum of the Small Things
    #267: Q&A: How Do We Reignite Our Love Life
    #266: Relationship Vitamins
    #265: I See You as Lover - the importance of attention in loving well
    #264: The Pleasure of A Soft Cock
    #263: Make Every Stroke Count
    #262: You Can Make Love With Just A Kiss
    #261: Finding the 'More' - the Spiritual Dimensions of Sex
    #260: How to Stay In Love
    #259: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 2: How
    #258: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 1: What
    #257: Simple Sex is Good Sex
    #256: Solo Sex: Mindful Masturbation
    #255: Own the Crone
    #254: Porn Star versus Prude
    #253: “When One is Pretending, the Whole Body Revolts”
    #252: Non-Linear Love-Making: the "Picnic" Approach to Sex
    #251: Make Your Bedroom A Sanctuary
    #250: Sexy Debriefing
    #249: Getting "Love Drunk"
    #248: Make-Over Your Sex Life
    #247: Be Real, Express Freely
    #246: The Fairy Tales Got It Wrong
    #245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?
    #244: Gigglegasms
    #243: Evolve with the Seven Elements of Sexuality
    #242: Getting to Sex can be Like Getting to the Gym
    #241: Intensity Repels, Enticement Attracts. Like Chocolate Cake.
    #240: Turn Yourself On and the World Turns On To You
    #239: Therapy is Composting Your Sh*t
    #238: Are You Flat-lining or Surfing in Life?
    #237: How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing in Sex & Relationships
    #236: The Clitoris is Not an On-Off Button
    #235: The Three Phases of Conscious Relationship Evolution
    #234: Allow Self-Indulgence
    #233: Are You Relationship-Oriented?
    #232: Tantra: Sex Through Non-Sex
    #231: A Multitude of Orgasmic Possibilities
    #230: Sink In to Sync In
    #229: Penises - does size really matter?
    #228: What To Do When He Can't Come
    #227: The Adolescent Male Masturbatory Model of Sex
    #226: Merge Sex & Love Energies for Potent Connection
    #225: Sex is a Normal Part of Life
    #224: We Judge ‘Normal’ Sex Based on Our Own Experiences
    #223: How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways...
    #222: Project 'Great Sex'
    #221: Beforeplay Suggestions
    #220: Foreplay and Beforeplay
    #219: How to Heighten Sensory Pleasure
    #218: The Bedroom is for Expression, Not Suppression
    #217: The Three Types of Sex All Couples Need
    #216: Things that make you go 'mmm' and things that make you go 'ngh'
    #215: Libido - the Interplay of Desire and Arousal
    #214: The Good and Bad of Porn
    #213: Bad Communication Styles - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
    #212: My Journey to Becoming A Transpersonal Sexologist
    #211: Seven Sex Tips for Busy People
    #210: Penises Love A Soft Touch
    #209: Share Before You Fix
    #208: The Best Thing A Father Can Do
    #207: The Exquisiteness of a Relaxed Vagina
    #206: The Look of Love - Eye-Gazing
    #205: Quanta of Deliciousness
    #204: How to Maintain the “Mmm-Factor”
    #203: How to Have 'Dirty' Sex With Someone You Love
    #202: Seven Benefits of Attending A LoveLife Couples Tantra Retreat
    #201: Make Sex Your Hobby
    #200: Partnered Sex is Not Solo Sex for Two
    #199: Melting Moments
    #198: Your Partner Can't Be Everything To You
    #197: Sex is Good, Sleep is Better!
    #196: Savour Sex
    #195: How To Live A Tantric Life
    #194: Be Kind - It Works
    #193: How to Push Your Sexual Boundaries
    #192: Good Rest=Good Sex
    #191: We Need Bliss
    #190: Being Sexually Receptive is Not Being Sexually Passive
    #189: So Much Love
    #188: A High-Quality Relationship is a High-Maintenance Relationship
    #187: Sex as Spiritual Practice
    #186: Playing with the Yin and Yang of Sex
    #185: The Yin and Yang of Sex
    #184: Third Level Love-Making
    #183: Vive La Difference!
    #182: What Is a Marriage Sabbatical and Why Take One?
    #181: The Basic Sexual Unit is One
    #180: A Penis is for Connection, not Penetration
    #179: Men Have Not Evolved to 'Sow Their Seed Widely'
    #178: Big Sex is Beautiful Sex
    #177: Women Are Not 'Naturally' Monogamous
    #176: Sex Therapy and Couples Retreats - What to do if you have a Reluctant Partner
    #175: The Chilled Build - How to Get in the Mood for Sex
    #174: Mums and Dads Need "Cuddle Time"
    #173: Giving Good Head Does Not Mean Simulating A Vacuum Cleaner
    #172: Is Porn Making Women Less Feminine?
    #171: Is Porn Making Men Less Masculine?
    #170: Rough Sex
    #169: The Three Pillars of Love
    #168: Seven Benefits of Attending My Couples Retreats
    #167: Ban Penetration - the word, not the act!
    #166: Solo Cultivation - Mindful Masturbation for Men
    #165: Our Bodies Thrive on Pleasure
    #164: Leela: Cosmic Play, Sexual Play
    #163: Toys for Grown-Ups
    #162: Backdoor Pleasures - how to enjoy anal sex
    #161: The Sexual Glutton vs The Sexual Gourmet
    #160: Erotic Wickedness - How to Play with Power Exchange
    #159: Practice Expressing Your Feelings For Greater Connection and Better Sex
    #158: Let’s Talk About Our Sex
    #157: Love Your Breasts
    #156: Ditch the Sex Myths
    #155: Relax Into Orgasm
    #154: When A Woman Is Free To Be Herself Sex Takes On A Spiritual Dimension
    #153: It All Starts With A Kiss…
    #152: The Ecstasy is in the Spaces In-Between
    #151: Radical Honesty
    #150: Strength in Softness, Softness in Strength
    #149: Your New Year's Resolution - Have Better Sex
    #148: Peace, Pleasure and Goodwill to All
    #147: A Beautiful Vulva is Like A Luscious Hamburger
    #146: Come From a Place of "Yes"!
    #145: Finger Finesse
    #144: Reluctance is Not frigidity, It’s Body Intelligence - She’s Not Ready!
    #143: Tantra: The Art of Mindful Sex
    #142: Love Thy Partner
    #141: ‘Invitation’ not ‘Penetration’
    #140: Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines
    #139: Sex is the Base of Being Human
    #138: Awaken Your Vagina for the Kind of Sex All Women (and their Partners) Deserve
    #137: Bonking on the Right Side of the Brain
    #136: Have Sex with God…
    #135: So Many Boxes - So Little Freedom
    #134: How to Move Forward When Your Partner Has Betrayed You
    #133: The Reason Why Humans Are So Sexual
    #132: Partnered Yoga - Erotic Connection
    #131: Make Love Like You’re Playing An Instrument For Ultimate Sensual Pleasure
    #130: How to Talk to Kids About Sex - and why you need to
    #129: Inviting A Third (or fourth or more…) - the right way to play
    #128: Does Size Really Matter?
    #127: The Way of the Householder - how to make the everyday sublime
    #126: Our Bodies Are the Best Sex Toy Ever
    #125: Honour Your Genitals for Exquisite Sex - the Why and How
    #124: Tango Tantra - Make Your Love Life Blissfully Connected
    #123: The Yin & Yang of Sex Chemistry
    #122: DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life
    #121: Move Beyond Sleaze and Shame and Discover The Third Wave of Sexuality
    #120: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It
    #119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage
    #118: We’re All Individuals! There are Spectra of Sexuality
    #117: My Book "Seven Sex Goddesses" Released!
    #116: Can Fisting Be Fabulous?
    #115: Ten Reasons Why Married Women Have Affairs, and What To Do When She Does
    #114: Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely
    #113: Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down - how to add restraint to your sex life
    #112: What’s Your Eroticism - Intimate, Wild, Fun?
    #111: 10 Tips For Your Vagina
    #110: When the Man Leads, the Woman Embellishes
    #109: Unblock Sexual Energy for Greater Love
    #108: The Sensual Dom(me)
    #107: Explore Your Fantasies
    #106: Dress-Ups! How to have fun with role-play.
    #105: Consensual Non-Monotony
    #104: Consensual Non-Monogamy
    #103: Languid 69
    #102: Sensual Non-Monogamy
    #101: Make Love to Yourself - Mindful Masturbation for Women
    #100: Celibacy, Sexuality and Spirituality
    #99: Spice Alone Tastes Terrible...
    #98: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
    #97: Plugging In - Sex Without Movement
    #96: Growing Better With Age
    #95: Teaching Tantra in Paradise
    #94: Time Apart Can Be Erotic
    #93: When He's Lost Interest
    #92: Q&A: Why Doesn’t Porn Do It for Me?
    #91: If Sex Hurts, Change What You're Doing
    #90: Some Words for the Lower Desire Partner
    #89: Trust Your Body
    #88: Chill Out in Your Sanctuary
    #87: Planning for Pleasure
    #86: Make the Lead-Up Erotic
    #85: Advice from Japanese Grandmothers on How to Be Beautiful
    #84: If You Want A Mature Relationship You Have To Be Mature
    #83: How Often Should We Have Sex?
    #82: Slay the Pink Elephants!
    #81: The Tantric Lounge Radio Show - Talking Sex, Science and Spirituality
    #80: What Do Men Love Best About Sex?
    #79: Fetishes are Fine
    #78: The Awesomeness of Men Who Are Present
    #77: Sex Doesn't Have to Involve the Genitals
    #76: Winter's a Time for Sexual Growth
    #75: An Erection Does Not Have To Be Serviced
    #74: "My Ejaculation Opens the Door to Deeper Orgasm"
    #73: To Come or Not To Come
    #72: Know Your Sexual Rhythm
    #71: Fill Up Your Self-Love Tank
    #70: The Cup-of-Tea Approach to Sexual Self-Coaching
    #69: Trust Means Being OK with Not Knowing
    #68: Renegotiate Your Contract
    #67: Breathe Together - It's Tantric Foreplay
    #66: The Number One Secret to Good Sex
    #65: An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away - why sex is so good for you
    #64: Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra
    #63: Is “Good Enough” Sex Good Enough?
    #62: Observing Love
    #61: There Is Always A Lower Desire Partner
    #60: You Can't Find Balance, You Have To Craft It
    #59: Sexual, Spiritual Business Leaders
    #58: Positive Messages in 50 Shades of Grey
    #57: Playing with Pleasure and Pain
    #56: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - Advanced
    #55: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - The Basics
    #54: Three Good Reasons To Read Erotica
    #53: Tantric Kink
    #52: Tools for Self-Validation from a Luscious Woman
    #51: How to Master the Art of Vaginal Stimulation
    #50: Discover the G, A and Ohhhh-Spots
    #49: The Tantric Quickie
    #48: We All Need To Be Balanced in Our Masculine and Feminine Sides
    #47: One Couple's "Kilimanjaro Walk" to Sexual Reconnection
    #46: Feminine Receptivity and the Go-Getter Kind of Gal
    #45: The Etiquette of Observing Breasts
    #44: The World is Waking to Conscious Sex
    #43: Try A Little Tenderness
    #42: Erotica or Sleaze
    #41: A Sensual Man Makes A Great Lover
    #40: Sensuality Feeds Sexuality
    #39: What is Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching and Tantra Teaching?
    #38: The Beauty of Conflict
    #37: A Woman's Body Opens In Stages
    #36: Breathe Well: Live & Love Well
    #35: Phone Sex
    #34: Do Your Research - It's Fun!
    #33: Unconditional Love Requires Self-validation
    #32: Men Need a Muse Not Just A Vagina
    #31: Teaching Tantra in Thailand
    #30: Being Real
    #29: Twelve Benefits of Sex
    #28: Communicate - Human's Can't Read Minds!
    #27: True Intimacy
    #26: The Core of Tantra: Real Sex
    #25: Sex as Entree not Dessert
    #24: Fire and Water: The Masculine and Feminine Sexual Energies
    #23: High Libido Women Keep Themselves Simmering
    #22: The Breadth of Sexuality & the Importance of Fun
    #21: Prioritising Sex
    #20: Obligation Sex is Self-Imposed Low-Level Sexual Trauma
    #19: Not-So-Secret Men's Business
    #18: Could We Have A Festival of Sexuality?
    #17: Three Things a Whole Man Needs
    #16: Valuing the Masculine
    #15: Valuing the Feminine
    #14: Face the Darkness to Find the Light
    #13: Grow Up and Open Up Australia
    #12: How Men Can Circulate Sexual Energy
    #11: The Great G-Spot & Female Ejaculation Debate!
    #10: Sexual Pleasure is the Great Equalizer
    #9: Become a Black Belt in the Bedroom!
    #8: Neuroplasticity - Moulding Your Brain for Better Sex
    #7: Raise Your Sexual Energy
    #6: How To Consume An Ice-Cream - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 2
    #5: How To Eat A Peach - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 1
    #4: Love in the Time of Chaos
    #3: A History of Sexual Misinformation
    #2: Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth
    #1: The Birth of the LoveLife Blog - with some underlying philosophical ramblings

    #387: Can a Relationship Survive an Affair?
    #387: Why Does Sex Hurt? Common Causes of Painful Sex (And What You Can Do About It)
    #386: How to Last Longer During Sex
    #385: What is Relational Sexology?
    #384: Vaginismus: When Your Body Is Saying “Not Yet”
    #383: Why I Created the Erotic Provocateur
    #382: Sex and Menopause: An Evolution of Desire
    #381: Mismatched Libidos in Long-Term Relationships
    #380: What to Do About Erectile Dysfunction
    #379: The Biggest Myths About Sex Therapy (And What It’s Really Like)
    #378: At the Heart of Sexual Healing Is Joy
    #377: Why A Couples Retreat Can Change Everything
    #376: The Art of Giving in Love: How to Nourish the “Us” in Your Relationship
    #375: Bringing Science and Soul Together in the Art of Loving.
    #374: Focus Less on Erection and More on Connection
    #373: Why A Sex-Positive Lifestyle Matters - Especially Now
    #372:The Erotic as a Celebration of Life’s Goodness
    #371: Your Relationship is Like a Tripod: It Needs Three Strong Legs
    #370: Attending A Couples Retreat: A Time To Nourish Your Love
    #369: Can AI Be Met? What Emerged When I Approached AI as a Relationship Not a Tool
    #368: The Power of Erotic Language: How Words Shape Our Experience of Sex
    #367: What is Transpersonal Sexology
    #366: The Seven Flavours of Sex
    #365: How to Stay in the Simmer Zone—and Why It Matters for Your Love Life
    #364: Suggest Don't Ask
    #363: Take the Pressure Off Your Penis!
    #362: Don't Let Your Primitive Brain Rule Your Relationship
    #361: Great Sex is Not About Speed
    #360: Sexual KPIs - Key Pleasure Indicators
    #359: Your Relationship is Like a Boat that Carries you through Life
    #358: Talk 'Erotic' Not 'Dirty'
    #357: Great Sex is Rarely Spontaneous
    #356: Approaching Sex As A Spiritual Practice
    #355: You're Not Alone - Sexual Struggle is Normal
    #354: Let Nature Boost Your Libido
    #353: Invite and Envelop
    #352: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss
    #351: How to "Start the Dominos Falling"
    #350: Move Towards Love-Led not Lust-Led Sex
    #349: The Yin & Yang of Erotic Physiology
    #348: Should Age Like A Fine Wine
    #347: We All Need To “Come Out” To Our Unique Sexuality
    #346: Burn Away the Undergrowth to Allow New Growth
    #345: Don't Push a Relationship to Crisis Point, End It Sooner
    #344: When It Gets Awkward in Bed
    #343: It's Normal to Find Other People Attractive
    #342: The Dance of Initiation
    #341: We All Need A Phone Policy!
    #340: What Comes Before Consent
    #339: More than Sex-Positive, We Need to be Sex-Comfortable
    #338: Get Off the Hedonistic Treadmill!
    #337: You Can't Search for Love. It's Already There. You Can Only Remove the Barriers to Let It In
    #336: How to Communicate Complaints Effectively
    #335: Nurture Your Soul with Sex
    #334: How to Express Your Emotions Without Being "Emotional"
    #333: Q&A: We're Time Poor - How Do We Add Some Zing?
    #332: Be Conscious Not Complacent
    #331: It's Ok to Disappoint Your Partner
    #330: Moans & Groans – why sound is good in sex and how to make more
    #329: Gateways to the Erotic Shift
    #328: Safety is Sexy
    #327: Pace Your Sexual Interactions
    #326: Fly on the Wall Friday - my new Video Series
    #325: When Things Get Wobbly Assume the Best and Get Curious
    #324: How Alike do you Need to be to Have a Good Relationship
    #323: Be "At Home" in Your Body
    #322: Don't Ever Stop Kissing
    #321: Consent From the Inside
    #320: How To Say No Without It Feeling Like Rejection
    #319: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 3: Sexual Transformation
    #318: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 2: Relational Transformation
    #317: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 1: Personal Transformation
    #316: Take Your Partner Off A Sexual Pedestal
    #315: Finesse Your Expertise on Each Other
    #314: A Lingering Sense of Each Other
    #313: How Do You Know When You're Having Good Sex?
    #312: Conflict is Inevitable So Learn to Prevent, Manage and Repair
    #311: The Bridgerton Effect
    #310: Cuddle plus – an essential phase of the affection-sex continuum
    #309: Moment-by-Moment Consent
    #308: How To Give (and Receive) An Erotic Spanking
    #307: Three Types of Sexual Communication: Chit-chat, In-the-moment and the Debrief
    #306: What I Desire
    #305: Lazy Sex
    #304: It's Not "Needy" to Connect - It's Human!
    #303: The Art of the Thrust
    #302: Transformational Erotica
    #301: Sex As Embodied Mindfulness Practice
    #300: So Many Ways to Eat, So Many Ways to…
    #299: Date Night or Date Day?
    #298: Teenage Love-Making
    #297: Turning Sex Lives Upside-Down - It's My Life's Work!
    #296: The Sex Store in Your Pantry
    #295: Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
    #294: Take Your Penis for a Walk!
    #293: It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
    #292: Become a Sensual Explorer
    #291: Q&A: My Wife Won't Pleasure Herself in Front of Me
    #290: Subtle Shifts to Great Sex
    #289: Q&A: My Husband Can't Keep an Erection, and He Smokes Lots of Marajuana
    #288: Love in the Time of COVID-19
    #287: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Climax from Oral Sex and I'm Worried
    #286: Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
    #285: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Like Kissing - what to do?
    #284: Communing - deep intimate connection
    #283: Q&A: We Want to Try a Threesome - how do we do it safely?
    #282: On Being A Human in a Female Body
    #281: Q&A: How Do We Connect After So Much Stress?
    #280: Get A Life! Your Sex Drive Needs the Dopamine
    #279: Q&A: My Husband Is Having An Affair and I'm Relieved
    #278: Stocking Up Your Love Larder - the key to spontaneous sex
    #277: Q&A: How Do I Flex My New Found Interest in Sex?
    #276: Intercourse as Foreplay
    #275: Q&A: Fun in the Sun - How to Have Safe Holiday Sex
    #274: Bake Your Cake Before You Ice It - the foundation of great sex
    #273: Q&A: Is It Normal to Want Sex Twice A Day?
    #272: How Has Sex Helped You Grow - Research Participants Wanted!
    #271: Q&A: How Do I Meet My Sexual Needs in a Sexless Marriage
    #270: Optimal Sexuality - Reaching Your Sexual Potential
    #269: Q&A: How Do I Get My Mojo Back?
    #268: It's the Sum of the Small Things
    #267: Q&A: How Do We Reignite Our Love Life
    #266: Relationship Vitamins
    #265: I See You as Lover - the importance of attention in loving well
    #264: The Pleasure of A Soft Cock
    #263: Make Every Stroke Count
    #262: You Can Make Love With Just A Kiss
    #261: Finding the 'More' - the Spiritual Dimensions of Sex
    #260: How to Stay In Love
    #259: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 2: How
    #258: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 1: What
    #257: Simple Sex is Good Sex
    #256: Solo Sex: Mindful Masturbation
    #255: Own the Crone
    #254: Porn Star versus Prude
    #253: “When One is Pretending, the Whole Body Revolts”
    #252: Non-Linear Love-Making: the "Picnic" Approach to Sex
    #251: Make Your Bedroom A Sanctuary
    #250: Sexy Debriefing
    #249: Getting "Love Drunk"
    #248: Make-Over Your Sex Life
    #247: Be Real, Express Freely
    #246: The Fairy Tales Got It Wrong
    #245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?
    #244: Gigglegasms
    #243: Evolve with the Seven Elements of Sexuality
    #242: Getting to Sex can be Like Getting to the Gym
    #241: Intensity Repels, Enticement Attracts. Like Chocolate Cake.
    #240: Turn Yourself On and the World Turns On To You
    #239: Therapy is Composting Your Sh*t
    #238: Are You Flat-lining or Surfing in Life?
    #237: How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing in Sex & Relationships
    #236: The Clitoris is Not an On-Off Button
    #235: The Three Phases of Conscious Relationship Evolution
    #234: Allow Self-Indulgence
    #233: Are You Relationship-Oriented?
    #232: Tantra: Sex Through Non-Sex
    #231: A Multitude of Orgasmic Possibilities
    #230: Sink In to Sync In
    #229: Penises - does size really matter?
    #228: What To Do When He Can't Come
    #227: The Adolescent Male Masturbatory Model of Sex
    #226: Merge Sex & Love Energies for Potent Connection
    #225: Sex is a Normal Part of Life
    #224: We Judge ‘Normal’ Sex Based on Our Own Experiences
    #223: How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways...
    #222: Project 'Great Sex'
    #221: Beforeplay Suggestions
    #220: Foreplay and Beforeplay
    #219: How to Heighten Sensory Pleasure
    #218: The Bedroom is for Expression, Not Suppression
    #217: The Three Types of Sex All Couples Need
    #216: Things that make you go 'mmm' and things that make you go 'ngh'
    #215: Libido - the Interplay of Desire and Arousal
    #214: The Good and Bad of Porn
    #213: Bad Communication Styles - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
    #212: My Journey to Becoming A Transpersonal Sexologist
    #211: Seven Sex Tips for Busy People
    #210: Penises Love A Soft Touch
    #209: Share Before You Fix
    #208: The Best Thing A Father Can Do
    #207: The Exquisiteness of a Relaxed Vagina
    #206: The Look of Love - Eye-Gazing
    #205: Quanta of Deliciousness
    #204: How to Maintain the “Mmm-Factor”
    #203: How to Have 'Dirty' Sex With Someone You Love
    #202: Seven Benefits of Attending A LoveLife Couples Tantra Retreat
    #201: Make Sex Your Hobby
    #200: Partnered Sex is Not Solo Sex for Two
    #199: Melting Moments
    #198: Your Partner Can't Be Everything To You
    #197: Sex is Good, Sleep is Better!
    #196: Savour Sex
    #195: How To Live A Tantric Life
    #194: Be Kind - It Works
    #193: How to Push Your Sexual Boundaries
    #192: Good Rest=Good Sex
    #191: We Need Bliss
    #190: Being Sexually Receptive is Not Being Sexually Passive
    #189: So Much Love
    #188: A High-Quality Relationship is a High-Maintenance Relationship
    #187: Sex as Spiritual Practice
    #186: Playing with the Yin and Yang of Sex
    #185: The Yin and Yang of Sex
    #184: Third Level Love-Making
    #183: Vive La Difference!
    #182: What Is a Marriage Sabbatical and Why Take One?
    #181: The Basic Sexual Unit is One
    #180: A Penis is for Connection, not Penetration
    #179: Men Have Not Evolved to 'Sow Their Seed Widely'
    #178: Big Sex is Beautiful Sex
    #177: Women Are Not 'Naturally' Monogamous
    #176: Sex Therapy and Couples Retreats - What to do if you have a Reluctant Partner
    #175: The Chilled Build - How to Get in the Mood for Sex
    #174: Mums and Dads Need "Cuddle Time"
    #173: Giving Good Head Does Not Mean Simulating A Vacuum Cleaner
    #172: Is Porn Making Women Less Feminine?
    #171: Is Porn Making Men Less Masculine?
    #170: Rough Sex
    #169: The Three Pillars of Love
    #168: Seven Benefits of Attending My Couples Retreats
    #167: Ban Penetration - the word, not the act!
    #166: Solo Cultivation - Mindful Masturbation for Men
    #165: Our Bodies Thrive on Pleasure
    #164: Leela: Cosmic Play, Sexual Play
    #163: Toys for Grown-Ups
    #162: Backdoor Pleasures - how to enjoy anal sex
    #161: The Sexual Glutton vs The Sexual Gourmet
    #160: Erotic Wickedness - How to Play with Power Exchange
    #159: Practice Expressing Your Feelings For Greater Connection and Better Sex
    #158: Let’s Talk About Our Sex
    #157: Love Your Breasts
    #156: Ditch the Sex Myths
    #155: Relax Into Orgasm
    #154: When A Woman Is Free To Be Herself Sex Takes On A Spiritual Dimension
    #153: It All Starts With A Kiss…
    #152: The Ecstasy is in the Spaces In-Between
    #151: Radical Honesty
    #150: Strength in Softness, Softness in Strength
    #149: Your New Year's Resolution - Have Better Sex
    #148: Peace, Pleasure and Goodwill to All
    #147: A Beautiful Vulva is Like A Luscious Hamburger
    #146: Come From a Place of "Yes"!
    #145: Finger Finesse
    #144: Reluctance is Not frigidity, It’s Body Intelligence - She’s Not Ready!
    #143: Tantra: The Art of Mindful Sex
    #142: Love Thy Partner
    #141: ‘Invitation’ not ‘Penetration’
    #140: Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines
    #139: Sex is the Base of Being Human
    #138: Awaken Your Vagina for the Kind of Sex All Women (and their Partners) Deserve
    #137: Bonking on the Right Side of the Brain
    #136: Have Sex with God…
    #135: So Many Boxes - So Little Freedom
    #134: How to Move Forward When Your Partner Has Betrayed You
    #133: The Reason Why Humans Are So Sexual
    #132: Partnered Yoga - Erotic Connection
    #131: Make Love Like You’re Playing An Instrument For Ultimate Sensual Pleasure
    #130: How to Talk to Kids About Sex - and why you need to
    #129: Inviting A Third (or fourth or more…) - the right way to play
    #128: Does Size Really Matter?
    #127: The Way of the Householder - how to make the everyday sublime
    #126: Our Bodies Are the Best Sex Toy Ever
    #125: Honour Your Genitals for Exquisite Sex - the Why and How
    #124: Tango Tantra - Make Your Love Life Blissfully Connected
    #123: The Yin & Yang of Sex Chemistry
    #122: DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life
    #121: Move Beyond Sleaze and Shame and Discover The Third Wave of Sexuality
    #120: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It
    #119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage
    #118: We’re All Individuals! There are Spectra of Sexuality
    #117: My Book "Seven Sex Goddesses" Released!
    #116: Can Fisting Be Fabulous?
    #115: Ten Reasons Why Married Women Have Affairs, and What To Do When She Does
    #114: Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely
    #113: Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down - how to add restraint to your sex life
    #111: 10 Tips For Your Vagina
    #112: What’s Your Eroticism - Intimate, Wild, Fun?
    #110: When the Man Leads, the Woman Embellishes
    #109: Unblock Sexual Energy for Greater Love
    #108: The Sensual Dom(me)
    #107: Explore Your Fantasies
    #106: Dress-Ups! How to have fun with role-play.
    #105: Consensual Non-Monotony
    #104: Consensual Non-Monogamy
    #103: Languid 69
    #102: Sensual Non-Monogamy
    #101: Make Love to Yourself - Mindful Masturbation for Women
    #100: Celibacy, Sexuality and Spirituality
    #99: Spice Alone Tastes Terrible...
    #98: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
    #97: Plugging In - Sex Without Movement
    #96: Growing Better With Age
    #95: Teaching Tantra in Paradise
    #94: Time Apart Can Be Erotic
    #93: When He's Lost Interest
    #92: Q&A: Why Doesn’t Porn Do It for Me?
    #91: If Sex Hurts, Change What You're Doing
    #90: Some Words for the Lower Desire Partner
    #89: Trust Your Body
    #88: Chill Out in Your Sanctuary
    #87: Planning for Pleasure
    #86: Make the Lead-Up Erotic
    #85: Advice from Japanese Grandmothers on How to be Beautiful
    #84: If You Want A Mature Relationship You Have To Be Mature
    #83: How Often Should We Have Sex?
    #82: Slay the Pink Elephants!
    #81: The Tantric Lounge Radio Show - Talking Sex, Science and Spirituality
    #80: What Do Men Love Best About Sex?
    #79: Fetishes are Fine
    #78: The Awesomeness of Men Who Are Present
    #77: Sex Doesn't Have to Involve the Genitals
    #76: Winter's a Time for Sexual Growth
    #75: An Erection Does Not Have To Be Serviced
    #74: "My Ejaculation Opens the Door to Deeper Orgasm"
    #73: To Come or Not To Come
    #72: Know Your Sexual Rhythm
    #71: Fill Up Your Self-Love Tank
    #70: The Cup-of-Tea Approach to Sexual Self-Coaching
    #69: Trust Means Being OK with Not Knowing
    #68: Renegotiate Your Contract
    #67: Breathe Together - It's Tantric Foreplay
    #66: The Number One Secret to Good Sex
    #65: An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away - why sex is so good for you
    #64: Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra
    #63: Is “Good Enough” Sex Good Enough?
    #62: Observing Love
    #61: There Is Always A Lower Desire Partner
    #60: You Can't Find Balance, You Have To Craft It
    #59: Sexual, Spiritual Business Leaders
    #58: Positive Messages in 50 Shades of Grey
    #57: Playing with Pleasure and Pain
    #56: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - Advanced
    #55: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - The Basics
    #54: Three Good Reasons To Read Erotica
    #53: Tantric Kink
    #52: Tools for Self-Validation from a Luscious Woman
    #51: How to Master the Art of Vaginal Stimulation
    #50: Discover the G, A and Ohhhh-Spots
    #49: The Tantric Quickie
    #48: We All Need To Be Balanced in Our Masculine and Feminine Sides
    #47: One Couple's "Kilimanjaro Walk" to Sexual Reconnection
    #46: Feminine Receptivity and the Go-Getter Kind of Gal
    #45: The Etiquette of Observing Breasts
    #44: The World is Waking to Conscious Sex
    #43: Try A Little Tenderness
    #42: Erotica or Sleaze
    #41: A Sensual Man Makes A Great Lover
    #40: Sensuality Feeds Sexuality
    #39: What is Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching and Tantra Teaching?
    #38: The Beauty of Conflict
    #37: A Woman's Body Opens In Stages
    #36: Breathe Well: Live & Love Well
    #35: Phone Sex
    #34: Do Your Research - It's Fun!
    #33: Unconditional Love Requires Self-validation
    #32: Men Need a Muse Not Just A Vagina
    #31: Teaching Tantra in Thailand
    #30: Being Real
    #29: Twelve Benefits of Sex
    #28: Communicate - Human's Can't Read Minds!
    #27: True Intimacy
    #26: The Core of Tantra: Real Sex
    #25: Sex as Entree not Dessert
    #24: Fire and Water: The Masculine and Feminine Sexual Energies
    #23: High Libido Women Keep Themselves Simmering
    #22: The Breadth of Sexuality & the Importance of Fun
    #21: Prioritising Sex
    #20: Obligation Sex is Self-Imposed Low-Level Sexual Trauma
    #19: Not-So-Secret Men's Business
    #18: Could We Have A Festival of Sexuality?
    #17: Three Things a Whole Man Needs
    #16: Valuing the Masculine
    #15: Valuing the Feminine
    #14: Face the Darkness to Find the Light
    #13: Grow Up and Open Up Australia
    #12: How Men Can Circulate Sexual Energy
    #11: The Great G-Spot & Female Ejaculation Debate!
    #10: Sexual Pleasure is the Great Equalizer
    #9: Become a Black Belt in the Bedroom!
    #8: Neuroplasticity - Moulding Your Brain for Better Sex
    #7: Raise Your Sexual Energy
    #6: How To Consume An Ice-Cream - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 2
    #5: How To Eat A Peach - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 1
    #4: Love in the Time of Chaos
    #3: A History of Sexual Misinformation
    #2: Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth
    #1: The Birth of the LoveLife Blog - with some underlying philosophical ramblings

    Shortcuts

    the lovelife clinic

    Visit

    The Lovelife Clinic

    jacqueline hellyer

    Meet

    Jacqueline Hellyer

    couples intimacy masterclass

    Learn

    Couples Intimacy Masterclass

    couples retreats

    Experience

    Couples Retreats

    "This weekend has been so much more than we expected. Solidifying in a way we didn’t anticipate. It has opened our eyes to even more possibilities."

    "I never expected the Luscious Woman Workshop to have such a dramatic change on how I view myself and how I now feel sexy, feminine and graceful. I've never said those words about myself before!"

    "It's not a course, it's an awakening. It opens your eyes to what's possible as a couple."

    "We had a fabulous time at the retreat. The surroundings, the people, and the teachings were all a blessing. It has taught us to explore new horizons in our love relationship and has brought our connection closer. We will be using all the techniques in the time to come as our sex life develops and improves. In fact, the results have been almost instantaneous!"

    "You have such a fabulous gift for taking all the awkwardness out of sexuality and turning it into such a lovely and beautiful thing to embrace. "

    "This book has changed our lives. It’s all good practical common-sense - and it works!"

    "Sex was just off the agenda and we’d lost connection. We couldn’t recommend this book more. It really will help"

    "This course has, after 29yrs of adolescent masturbatory style sex, been HUGE with some major penny-drops. I love your approach!"

    "It’s made us realise how important it is to always be there for each other, to prioritise us, even though it’s so easy to be distracted."

    "Working on the solution instead of the problem has taken me further forward then anything else I have tried."

    "Before meeting Jacqueline we were fumbling around in the dark, I couldn’t go the distance and this left my beloved underwhelmed. We were caught in the daily grind, were sexually frustrated and wanting a more satisfying experience. Since Jacqueline’s sex coaching our lovemaking has become light-hearted, our lives filled with romance, dating, petting, smooches. When we make love the time is intimate, fun, erotic, orgasmic and/or all of the above. We’ve never been happier, whole or as complete – and can’t thank you enough."

    "Thank you for this wonderful experience, we really enjoyed it. You are a very good facilitator, and an absolute expert in this area of life and love."

    "Thank you for the weekend retreat - I greatly enjoyed and learned a lot at it. Your combination of spirituality and philosophy meeting is an inspiration."

    "It was a really powerful, transformative experience. I feel I have reclaimed something precious and essential with the help of a group of loving, supportive women. It made me appreciate how much healing we can do as women when we come together and share our experiences."

    "I really enjoyed all the loving energy in the room. I've certainly never experienced anything like it before. "

    "The opening up to my own sexuality and what it means for us as a couple has been way beyond my expectations. I’ve felt safe and loved the sense of playfulness and the choices we’ve had whether or how to participate. I go away hugely enriched."

    "Hol-ee f@ck you can write, Bravo!!! ;) I've been reading your things for years, but the Goddesses are tying it all together so exquisitely. Thank-you, and Wow! "

    "Taking Black Belt completely revolutionized my thinking about sex and has had a long lasting positive influence on my sex life."

    "Since Black Belt my partner has said that our sex life has turned 180 degrees, and that you are a miracle worker !"

    "Luscious Woman has truly shifted my thinking, my life and me, in a wonderful direction. Thank you so much Jacqueline."

    "I really enjoyed this book. It contains some great concepts that I’ve really been able to put into practice."

    "Thank you for your warm vibrant energy, enthusiasm and passion. You've given a recently fatigued man the tools to recover his mojo."

    "Your book made me realise not only what I’d lost, but how to regain it. I’m loving getting in touch with the goddesses in all parts of my life - including sexually!"

    Jacqueline, thank-you for such an incredible weekend. You are an incredibly authentic teacher, it's just so refreshing. The weekend was so beautiful. It was real, raw and very authentic. I loved how we could all be so vulnerable. You really created that space for each of us to feel safe to share in that way. You're so passionate about what you do, it really shines through.

    "Thanks so much for a life changing five days!  We were truly impacted and challenged beyond our expectations so thank you."

    "I feel an enormous sense of relief that we have a platform to communicate about intimacy and sex in an open respectful and adult way."

    "You've changed the whole way I look at sex, now I feel so much more positive and free and empowered!"

    "Thanks so much for a life changing five days! We were truly impacted and challenged beyond our expectations so thank you."

    My partner and I just got back from a fantastic couples tantra retreat in the Blue Mountains with the extremely talented Jacqueline Hellyer. It was FANTASTIC!!! We absolutely loved her grounded approach, her sense of humour and realness, no prescriptive, one size fits all approach, just REAL talk and providing an incredibly safe space to deeply connect with each other.

    "I've just read your new book and I just want to say it is FABULOUS!! I'm so glad you wrote it and it is such a special and beautiful work I can't put it down!"

    "I felt so useless and alone after I had my baby, and forcing myself to have sex with my husband made it worse. This book has helped me see in little ways how I can enjoy being a mother and a wife - which means I can enjoy being me! Thank-you."

    "Luscious Woman was so useful and very much applies to the modern lush woman who wants to feel and be even more empowered!"

    "We loved that this book is about simple fundamentals, not superficial tips and tricks."

    "It's been a deep, profound and subtle spiritual liberation. It's given me the freedom and empowerment to open up and allow myself to feel and to express how I feel, in every way. This feeling of liberation and love and power and openness pervades my whole life and how I live now, and I can see the effect it has on others too and how they respond to me. It's very subtle, but soooo powerful and wonderful. It feels like it is radiating out from the very core of my being and is an all encompassing love, so, very much including, but not just about, my sexual being."

    "A huge thank you with all my heart for the unique and beautiful experience that you created for all of us on the weekend. It was such a magnificent experience and I am amazed at how much the Luscious Woman weekend boosted my confidence, I feel fantastic. What you give to others is such a beautiful gift you’re an inspiration to everyone around you."

    "We have noticed a real shift in our energies towards each other since seeing you, almost like switching from AM to FM radio, the difference is that noticeable."

    "I wish we’d had this book when our first bub was born. But better late than never, it’s been a great help second time around!"

    "I feel far more comfortable with myself and have a willingness to explore and grow in this rather new area of my life - how exciting."

    "We've just spent a wonderful weekend with Jacqueline. Her workshops are fun, informative, sensual, and in many ways deeply profound - the weekend brought us closer in ways we could never have imagined. Thank-you for filling up our love bank!"

    "My sessions with Jacqueline were like a great conversation with a very wise sister/friend. She helped me through the end of my 25 year marriage with compassion and insight, giving me perspective, coping skills and a gentle push where required. I’m so grateful to have had her wise counsel."

    "Seeing Jacqueline has been by far one of the best decisions we have made. Before seeking her help I was very sad about our situation. I am so happy to say that as a direct result of her thoughtful guidance we are in such a different and better place in our sex life."

    "We will always remember the weekend, we discovered so much together and shall keep learning with each other with the skills gained for a long time to come. Thank you for such a great experience."

    "You’re the first of many counsellors who really feels comfortable and is coming from a practical, understandable place. You've helped us find the key and it's really quite simple."

    "The Tantric Lounge has surpassed any expectations I had of attending such an event and I find myself feeling exhilarated from the experience to a whole new degree after each session."

    "Your program also seriously helped me understand my own male sexuality so much better. A big thank you for helping me with what I needed to hear! It is so awesome what you do, it is life changing for us on this end, and you are such a natural!"

    "You’ve really helped me tap into something wonderful and powerful. I’ve discovered where I was letting myself down and have been enjoying 'filling in the blanks’."

    "It’s been so good to find a book that tells us how to look after ourselves - not only how to look after the baby."

    "What do I say to you for taking me on a magical adventure of discovery yet again? My most heartfelt thanks for an incredible Saturday night at The Tantric Lounge."

    "Thanks so much for a life changing weekend. I honestly mean it! I feel like a completely different person!!!!!"

    "I am personally so grateful for participating in Saturday's Tantric Lounge, connecting with a group of people with beautiful, fertile rich energy."

    Thank you for taking us on such a divine journey in such a beautiful setting. You are an incredibly skilled facilitator and it is clear the passion you have for making a real impact and changing the future of sex, intimacy and really meaningful and long-term connection.

    "Love your work. You’re speaking the language and have a super in-depth understanding which I respect!"

    "Your retreats are fundamental to the health and sustainability of all relationships, regardless. In this faster than ever paced world, over stimulated and titillated, and where choice and everything-can-be-had as a retail experience is omnipresent, your guidance is like a light through the darkness..."

    "Jacqueline, you are so extraordinarily professional. I’ve done a lot of courses in this area and yours are so far above the rest in terms of content and presentation."

    "I thought this retreat would expand our sex life, but it didn’t so much expand as turn our sex life upside down! I’m now seeing the world with a new, exciting, slightly bewildering new light!"

    "I have to tell you that this experience has been life changing for me, and your wonderful loving work in helping us let go and come into ourselves made this life change such a warm comfortable natural process, that I can hardly remember what it was like before."

    "It is beautiful how each activity builds on the previous one like blocks, so that by the end of the evening we are engaging in the most divine magical experiences that we could never have got to otherwise!"

    "I just am finishing the Luscious Woman course. It has been such an inspiring course and you have such a fabulous gift for taking all the awkwardness out of sexuality and turning it into such a lovely and beautiful thing to embrace. My husband is the doing the black belt in the bedroom course as well and its been so amazing watching him develop into the soft, loving and passionate man I knew he could be. We are so grateful for your course, your passion and wish everyone who wants to expand their sexual understand could know about this course. "

    "We weren’t in a very good place. Reading Jacqueline’s book together made the world of difference and we’re stronger for it"

    "Now we understand why you wanted us to attend one of your retreats. We learnt so much from you in private sessions, but doing your couples retreat has really taken us so much further and deeper. It’s been absolutely wonderful, far more transformative than we could ever have imagined."

    "I have had a really lovely shift and have felt subtle changes in my approach to myself and body. "

    "I really got what it means to come into my masculine sexual energy, with strength and confidence and no macho or aggression. Feels great! (And my wife is beaming!)"

    "It feels like I am taking possession of my 'goddesshood'! As a consequence I find that I am now confident and settled and calm with my husband and I can move between the goddesses, giving and receiving as the dance feels right. It's quite glorious, we're loving it. There is so much more I could say - I am so grateful and joyous! Thank you so much for your dedication, commitment, honesty and love."

    "Your workshops are so fun, connective and amazing, just a joy to participate in. You definitely have great skills in putting together a very cool experience for people."

    "We used to fight constantly about sex, I never thought we'd find a way out. Then we found you and that's all changed. You're awesome!"

    "I don't think it is over-stating to say that I would call the course 'life changing'. In essence I believe it has been a major catalyst in deep healing, a fundamental shift in personal and spiritual growth, and lasting and evolving change in self confidence, body awareness, self acceptance and ongoing sexual exploration."

    "I enjoyed doing this course immensely. The content is spot on and you rightly focus on the 'being' rather than the 'doing'. "

    "Loved this book - it was made for busy people like us. Thank-you for guiding and inspiring us!"

    "It was all about rediscovering and embracing being a woman, and everything that surrounds that."

    "We really love coming to see you, as you offer us such support and have made a huge difference to our lives."

    "We LOVED the retreat. You created a safe, adult, sexy space where we could be honest and open, exploring ourselves and the connection that exists in really different ways than we've ever been able to in the past. Your rich and sensitive holding of the spiritual side, and ease of its emergence as sexual energy - an energy to draw the other in and connect with - was really a gift and a beautiful model to offer. "

    I loved the structure and your clear positive guidance throughout. It has bought more joy and love into my life with my wife.

    "Thank you for teaching me how to treat my wife (with numerous chronic illnesses) in a spirit of compassion while opening up a multitude of possibilities for both of us to experience giving and receiving."

    "Thanks again for your brilliant life-changing support. "

    "Thank-you for creating a safe space for us all to learn, grow and share. Absolutely essential for all women who want to thrive, not just survive."

    "A really powerful, transformative experience. I feel I have reclaimed something precious and essential."

    "We want to thank you so very much for the most wonderful week in paradise, both literally and metaphorically. Having been to your workshops previously we knew for sure that we were in for a week of lusciousness, but our week with you in Bali was more gloriously luscious and inspiring than we could have imagined."

    "I never thought I’d lose my libido - but I did! Who’d have thought one little baby could be so exhausting! Your book made so much sense - it explained why I was feeling this way, why my partner was feeling this way, and what we could do about it."

    "I'm so happy with ME, where I am and where we are as a couple. This is where I've been trying to get for so long and now I'm here! Thanks - you're the best!"

    "The videos were beautifully engaging. You've condensed the essence of being a lover from the male perspective into an easy to follow course and I can only wish I had discovered this course ages ago and saved myself 15 years of trial & error with my wife! "

    "Thank-you for so deliciously weaving my sexually and spiritually together again, I now feel the way I’ve always wanted and known I could feel."

    "This book is beautifully clear and succinct, a real treasure."

    "A massive thank you for all your guidance and wisdom. Your sex therapy played a very significant role in changing our lives forever."

    "Thank you for a wonderful retreat. All the things we were worried about turned out to be no concern at all and all the things we were looking forward to turned out to be much better than we dreamed! We are still buzzing from the experience. "

    "The couples retreat is something every couple should do. The course is refreshing, inspiring and gave our relationship a fun tool set to set us up for a joyful life together. It’s not just about sex (though that stuff was great), it debunks myths and starts a conversation that changed our relationship - definitely for the better. Jacqueline has a gift to make everyone feel comfortable. Don’t wait until there is a ‘problem’ - all relationships can be improved.  Would recommend to all couples!"

    "Thank-you for for so skillfully weaving my sexuality and spirituality back together. I now feel the way I’ve always wanted to feel."

    "I've seen so many therapists but you're amazing! I come out of each session so much more self-aware and enlightened."