Transpersonal Sex Therapy & Relationship Coaching,
Tantra-based Retreats & Workshops

Providing Quality Guidance on Sex, Love & Intimacy

Hello! I’m Jacqueline Hellyer, one of Australia's foremost experts in relationships, sexuality and positive sex. Highly-qualified in scientific, therapeutic and esoteric sexuality and with thousands of hours of experience working with private clients as well as group workshops, I offer:

Through the Tantric Lounge, my education arm, I teach empowered Conscious Sexuality via:


On my blog... 

Make Sex Your Hobby

Posted 08-Apr-2014 | Jacqueline Hellyer

Available as a podcast: download here!
What is a hobby? According to the dictionary it’s “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure.” That sounds like sex and intimacy to me! 



We all know that it’s good for couples to have a mutual hobby - cooking, gardening, sport, travel, outdoor recreation, decorating, traveling, study. It gives them something to talk about together, to experiment with and to enjoy together. 



You’re having sex and being intimate anyway, so why not give it the same focus and attention that you give any hobby?





When you acknowledge that sex and intimacy is or can be your mutual hobby, then you can approach it like any other hobby - enjoyably! There is enjoyment in the thinking about it, the planning, the discussing, the reflecting, the researching, and of course, in the doing.



It’s just as if, say, scuba diving were your mutual hobby. In that case you’d do courses together, set aside time to go diving, plan your dive trips, enjoy talking about the diving afterwards. You’d read books or blogs, listen to podcasts and watch videos about diving. You’d buy diving equipment and browse online diving websites to find out more. You’d have friends who were interested in diving too and you could enjoy talking with them about diving and share diving advice and experiences, you might even go diving together.



Now substitute the words ‘have sex’ or ‘be intimate’ for ‘dive’, and it’s pretty much the same. Obviously for most people, although not all, having sex is a private activity, so the ‘going diving with friends’ side of things might not apply - but you can still talk about sex and intimacy with friends. I always encourage people to talk more freely and positively with their friends, to help break the silence around what people really do and feel about sex, and to get people talking about sex and intimacy as though it were a normal part of life, rather than some hidden secret. When sex is your hobby it’s much easier to talk about it.



You don’t have to be a complete sex geek like me. For me sex is more than a hobby, it’s a calling. I never get tired of the topic, I find it endlessly fascinating. It can be for you too, when you make it your hobby.



There’s so much to explore and experience…

To indulge in your hobby, come along to my classy, hip and inspiring workshops and retreats!


Available as a podcast: download here!
What is a hobby? According to the dictionary it’s “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure.” That sounds like sex and intimacy to me! 



We all know that it’s good for couples to have a mutual hobby - cooking, gardening, sport, travel, outdoor recreation, decorating, traveling, study. It gives them something to talk about together, to experiment with and to enjoy together. 



You’re having sex and being intimate anyway, so why not give it the same focus and attention that you give any hobby?



 more...

    

Sex Through Non-Sex

Posted 01-Apr-2014 | Jacqueline Hellyer

Available as a podcast: download here!
In the Tantric yogic traditions they talk about ‘actionless action’ or inaction through action. This is part of the karma-yoga tradition, developing spiritually through right action. Rather than renouncing the world and avoiding actions, karma yoga is about engaging in the world - cultivating wordly life and spiritual life simultaneously. 



In the Taoist tradition there is the concept of wu-wei ‘action through non-action’ or action without intent, which leads to a life of harmony, aligned with the Way or the Tao.



Both Tantra and Taoism apply this to sex as much as to any other aspect of life. In both approaches, there are two important aspects of this doing through non-doing: lack of attachment to the action and moral rightness.



As it says in the Tao te Ching (Daode Jing) 
"When action is pure and selfless, everything settles into its own perfect place," and “The highest virtue is to act without a sense of self”.



So what’s this got to do with sex? How can we modern people have sex through non-sex and thereby achieve harmonious living and spiritual growth?



Firstly - sex without attachment. This means you enter the sexual or intimate activity without being needy, without an expectation of outcome, you’re not assuming or expecting that it will be orgasmic, not even that it will be genital. You go with the flow, the wu-wei of the encounter. 



Secondly - sex that is virtuous, morally sound. This means you come together with a purity, an openness, a sense of rightness. Don't confuse this with any prudish concept of purity, you can be playing in an S&M dungeon and do it with purity; and similarly you can engage in so-called ‘spiritual’ sexual activities from an impure basis, led by ego rather than soul.



This is so different to the western view of sex, which in the old days was considered shameful and wrong, and which in the modern era is often considered a need or a right, something to ‘achieve’ in the same way that we want to achieve so much in our ego-led society.



Cultivate yourself, through your sexuality (and the rest of life) in this way and you’ll find you do find that bliss, ecstasy, sense of unity with the cosmos, oneness of all things, harmony. You’ll ride the tantric wave….


Learn more about sex through non-sex at one of my workshops, retreats or private sessions.



Available as a podcast: download here!
In the Tantric yogic traditions they talk about ‘actionless action’ or inaction through action. This is part of the karma-yoga tradition, developing spiritually through right action. Rather than renouncing the world and avoiding actions, karma yoga is about engaging in the world - cultivating wordly life and spiritual life simultaneously. 



In the Taoist tradition there is the concept of wu-wei ‘action through non-action’ or action without intent, which leads to a life of harmony, aligned with the Way or the Tao.

 more...

    

Get A Life! Your Sex Drive Needs the Dopamine

Posted 25-Mar-2014 | Jacqueline Hellyer

Available as a podcast: download here!
The neurotransmitter dopamine makes us feel good and positive and upbeat. When we have healthy levels of dopamine we have a positive outlook on life and have energy and motivation - and a better sex drive!

When dopamine levels are low we feel sluggish and down, the world is grey and everything is an effort - including sex.

To increase your sexual desire you need to do things that increase your dopamine levels.

Having goals in life and achieving them is one way to keep the dopamine high. That’s why it’s so important to enjoy your work and get positive feedback from what you do and achieve.

It’s not just big goals though, any small achievement, especially if you take the time to notice it and reinforce the positive feeling will keep your dopamine levels up. In fact, it’s good to keep this in balance so that you don’t have wild fluctuations. So notice all the good positive things in life, take a moment to really appreciate them and keep the positive feelings going.

Exercise is great too. It doesn’t have to be intense, just get up off your butt and go for a walk! Walk to a park at lunchtime, or go for a walk after dinner and enjoy the evening.

Eat healthy food, food that makes you feel uplifted, not heavy. So ditch the heavy carbs, high sugar and processed foods and eat fresh, invigorating foods.

Reduce your caffeine and nicotine intake, which gives you an artificial stimulus. And definitely avoid drugs like cocaine and amphetamines because these cause higher levels of dopamine in the brain than the brain can handle and so can lead to addiction.

It’s much better to raise dopamine levels naturally.

Doing new and interesting things raises your dopamine levels. Doing the same old same old lowers them. This is why the same old evening routine including hours being a couch potato in front of the TV is not foreplay and never will be. Get up and go for a walk, or play a board game, or sit and chat, or any number of things that are more interesting and stimulating than the idiot box.

Take control of your hormones by getting a life, and use them to get a get a sex life!


If your relationship is good, come along to a couples workshop or couples weekend or Bali retreat to really get the dopamine flowing! And if it's not flowing, come in for some private sessions so i can help you figure out how to get it flowing again.


Available as a podcast: download here!
The neurotransmitter dopamine makes us feel good and positive and upbeat. When we have healthy levels of dopamine we have a positive outlook on life and have energy and motivation - and a better sex drive!

When dopamine levels are low we feel sluggish and down, the world is grey and everything is an effort - including sex.

To increase your sexual desire you need to do things that increase your dopamine levels. more...

    

TESTIMONIALS

"You've shown me how to feel the way I've always wanted to. Thank-you for deliciously weaving my spirit and sexuality back together."

"In the short time since the Blackbelt seminar, my partner has said that our sex has turned "180 degrees", and that you are a "miracle worker" !"

"I never expected the Luscious Woman Workshop to have such a dramatic change on how I view myself and how I now feel sexy, feminine and graceful. I've never said those words about myself before!"

"I feel an enormous sense of relief that we have a platform to start communicating about intimacy and sex in an open respectful and adult way."

"Jacqueline's workshops are fun, informative, sensual, and in many ways deeply profound." 

"You are inspirational in Australia and beyond. There are an indefinable number of people whose lives have been changed as a result of your Intelligence, Study, Courage and Insight to say it how it is."

"A huge thank you with all my heart for the unique and beautiful experience that you created for all of us on the weekend. It was such a magnificent experience and I am amazed at how much the Luscious Woman weekend boosted my confidence, I feel fantastic. What you give to others is such a beautiful gift you’re an inspiration to everyone around you".

"You are a relationship genius!"

"A massive thank you for all your guidance and wisdom. Your sex therapy played a very significant role in changing our lives forever."

"You've changed the whole way I look at sex, now I feel so much more positive and free and empowered!"

"How can I thank you? You have helped me move to a place where I not only feel comfortable with my body, but feel it's pretty damn sexy and any man who gets to explore and share it is lucky. Most importantly I feel good about myself. I've had my eyes opened to all sorts of possibilities..."

"I can honestly say that I'd be separated and on my way to divorce if not for you slapping me into shape."

"Jacqueline is a transformative figure. Her workshops, writings and podcasts have changed the way I think and behave, from the bedroom to the boardroom. (Ever breathed through your cock while giving a presentation? You should try it.) Put aside your fears that tantra is hippy-dippy, and put aside your fears about exploring sexuality. There's much to learn, many myths to be dispelled, much shame to be exorcised, and much growth to be had... and at the end of the day you'll leave a giant smile on your partner's face."

"Jacqueline is an inspiration!"

"When we started seeing you we were newly-weds heading for divorce... after our sessions with you we are happier and more in love (and lust) than ever before!"

"The empowerment you provide people with through your sex therapy and tantra workshops is inspirational, life changing and the beauty of it is that you don't give them power, you don't even create it, it just simply manifests itself through the opportunities you so strategically present."

"The course helped us remember the importance of completely "being" with each other - not just physically, but on a much deeper level. We will take this into the bedroom and practice the art of real love-making, not just sex!"

"We loved every minute of Luscious Lovers. It was such a beautiful experience to be surrounded by so much love. Thank you for filling up our love bank!"

"I have never been happier!!! You taught me a lot and I'm still practicing so thanks!"

"Before meeting Jacqueline we were “fumbling around in the dark”, I couldn’t go the distance and this left my beloved underwhelmed. We were caught in the daily grind, were sexually frustrated and wanting a more satisfying experience. Since Jacqueline’s sex coaching our lovemaking has become light-hearted, our lives filled with romance, dating, petting, smooches. When we make love the time is intimate, fun, erotic, orgasmic and/or all of the above. We’ve never been happier, whole or as complete – and can’t thank you enough."

"I would like to deeply thank you for all your support and sharing your wisdom with me. Since our first sex therapy session I have learned to orgasm and break my limiting belief that I was a non orgasmic women for 27 years! I will never forget the beautiful gift that you have given me, my gratitude for your kindness will always be something I reflect on for the rest of my life."

"My love life has so shifted to another level….you showed me in an amazing way, how I was able to tap into a field of energy that I didn’t realize existed when it comes to lovemaking and intimacy which shifts the whole experience to another level."

“I loved it - my love life has SOOO shifted to another level….you showed me in an amazing way, how I was able to tap into a field of energy that I didn’t realize existed when it comes to lovemaking and intimacy which shifts the whole experience to another level. I am now better able to remain focused and present to the whole experience."



"What have you done to my wife!! I'm loving it. I think I am your new best friend! I am telling everyone who cares to listen about your Tantra workshops. "