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#122: DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life

Published Tuesday, April 28, 2015



Lights - camera - action! Starring in your own porn show can be a fun way to spice up your sex life.

With smart phones these days you can set up your own scene easily - just place it somewhere with a good angle and off you go. Film yourselves having normal sex, or set up a role play, whatever takes your fancy.

Then when you’re done, keep it for posterity, or watch and delete. If you’re shy you don’t even have to watch, just being filmed might be erotic enough for you.

If you’re more of an extrovert and like the idea of sharing your footage, there are plenty of websites where you can post your DIY porn. You absolutely don’t have to though, it can be simply a fun bit of private spice for the two of you.

The same applies with an erotic photo shoot. You can turn it into a role play where one of you is the ‘professional photographer’ and one the ‘model’; or do a straight shoot simply because you like taking photos of each other. Again, in terms of what you do with the photos, well there’s the full spectrum from deleting immediately through to posting online. That’s completely up to you and your personal taste.

And if you prefer your DIY porn live, use mirrors! Mirrors on the walls, ceiling, wardrobe doors, even as a bedhead can be brilliant. In certain positions you can watch the whole action, at other times you just get enticing glimpses. A mirror is particularly good for watching your partner’s face in positions where you’re not facing each other.

Hey, combine video with mirrors - see how creative you can get!

Set it up…aaaand Action!


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#122: DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life

Published Tuesday, April 28, 2015

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#120: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It

Published Tuesday, April 14, 2015



If you want to spice up your sex life, it's got to be real. There's no point faking it. That would be like putting fake spices into a curry - it might look good, but if it tastes terrible there's no point. If you fake sexual pleasure, you're deceiving your partner and you'll end up frustrated and resentful.

Fake it till you make it might work in some parts of life, but not with sex.

I had a client once who came to me after faking orgasm with her husband for seven years. She wanted me to help her become orgasmic with him without actually telling him she'd ever faked it.

What a dilemma!

She had two choices: 1) confess that she'd been faking it and work with him to become orgasmic again: or 2) not tell him anything and replace the fake orgasms with real orgasms.

I would have preferred if she'd gone with option #1 as it's so much easier to make changes to a couple's love life if they are both involved. But she felt he'd be devastated if she admitted she'd been faking it for so long (probably with good reason), so went for option #2.

It was the trickier option, but it did actually work (whew!). To do so she needed to take more control of their lovemaking, expand their sexual repertoire, improve the lead-up to sex and learn a lot more about her own body and sex in general.

Fortunately, that time the transition from being fake to being real succeeded. But, you know, wouldn't it have been a lot easier if she'd never started faking it in the first place!

Ladies, please, I ask you to put one hand over your heart and raise the other and say out loud: I will not fake orgasm.

Now say it again, more firmly and with conviction:

I WILL NOT FAKE ORGASM!

Excellent. Now stick to that resolve.

You could possibly be excused if you were with someone for the first time and were absolutely sure you'd never see him again but why let him think he's done something he hasn't? It's just setting the next woman up for failure. Or maybe if you're in a long-term relationship and usually orgasm but for some reason you're too tired or something and aren't going to make it. But in that case why not tell him you're not going to make it and just enjoy the closeness?

Sex is not just about orgasm. It's the journey not the destination.

People are so obsessed with the Big 'O' these days, that men feel inadequate if they don't give their partner an orgasm (or several) and women feel inadequate if they don't have an orgasm. This all adds to performance anxiety, which actually makes the likelihood of causing/having an orgasm even less.

Chill out! You don't have to have/cause an orgasm! Of course, it's a wonderful part of sex, but it's not obligatory. If you're having on-going problems with orgasm then it's worth the both of you focusing on ways to enable orgasm - note that I say both of you; and to do so in an inspired, playful way, rather than a got-to-have-an-orgasm-at-all-costs kind of way. That all or nothing thinking leads to faking it and faking leads to on-going problems.

So ladies, never fake it. And guys, don't take it as a personal affront if she doesn't make it. Get playful, get creative, and you'll have so much fun there won't be a need for any faking.

Note: And if you're a man who fakes it, and there are plenty who do. The same applies to you.


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#120: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It

Published Tuesday, April 14, 2015

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#119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage

Published Tuesday, April 07, 2015

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#119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage

Published Tuesday, April 07, 2015




Prostate massage can be great for a man - great orgasms, better sex. You have to go in through the bum hole though, so it’s not for everyone. But if you’re game, it can feel fantastic.

Now, you don’t want to go “barrelling down to the anus” (to misquote Monty Python), he needs to be warmed up to anal touch. Make sure he’s good and relaxed, you’ve got music playing, soft lighting, whatever makes him (and you as the massager) feel comfortable.

As the massager, you might like to wear a latex glove for cleanliness, or to reduce the ‘ick’ factor of putting your finger up someone’s bum, even if it is your beloved’s bum. (Let’s face it, an asshole can be a cute and endearing part of the anatomy, but it can be a little noisome on the inside).

Here’s how you do it:

  • Start with sensual touch of his whole body.Touch lovingly, slowly, with focus. Move firmly from ankles up his legs to his buttocks and give them a good massage. Rub across his sacrum to warm up the whole area.
  • Then ask him to roll on to his side, back or front. If he’s on his side he’ll need to be in ‘rescue position’ with the top leg bent forward a little; if he’s on his back he’ll need his knees bent and feet flat; on his front he just needs his legs spread, and maybe a pillow under his hips to raise them up a bit.
  • Rub your hands up his thigh and between his buttock cheeks, up and down, in fairly firm long strokes.
  • Then massage his perineum (that’s the area between his anus and scrotum) with your thumb or the second joint of your index finger. Rub, press, vibrate.
  • Then touch with your fingers from his tail bone down between his cheeks, across his anus, touching and circling a little as you cross his anus, and onwards across his perineum to his scrotum, and back again. You can cup his balls gently at the end of the movement, or stroke his balls and penis, before turning and going back through to his tailbone again.
  • When you feel he’s ready, and you can always ask to be sure, put a little lubricant on your thumb, gently rest your thumb on his anus and with gentle pressure slowly push your way in. The receiver breathes with the sensation, feeling as though he is ‘breathing’ your thumb in.
  • Once inside a little, feel around for the prostate. It’s a bump on his tummy side, just an inch or so on the inside. Once you’ve found it, run your thumb forward and back, floating over the prostate. Do the same to either side as well, to the 2 o’clock and 10 o’clock positions. You can gently swirl your thumb over the prostate, and experiment with gentle pushing or pulsing over the spot as well.
  • When he’s had enough, slowly remove your thumb, with a sense of him ‘breathing’ it out. Rest your thumb on the outside.
  • Finish with resting your hands on his body, sacrum and upper back if he’s lying on his front; hip and shoulder if he’s on his side; and chest and just above his penis, or actually cupping his penis if he’s lying on his front.
  • And he’ll probably like a good cuddle too!


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#116: Can Fisting Be Fabulous?

Published Monday, March 23, 2015

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#116: Can Fisting Be Fabulous?

Published Monday, March 16, 2015




Of course, anything can be fabulous! Double entry with gherkins stuffed up your nose could be fabulous - if it’s something you genuinely desire, it’s consensual and practiced safely.

As I constantly repeat: it’s not what you, do it’s how you do it.

If you ever think you ‘should’ do something sexual, whether it’s to be cool, or because your partner wants you to, or because you think it’s what everyone else does, but you don’t really want to - then don’t do it.

So, back to the topic of fisting. If you subject yourself unwillingly to fisting because you think you should, for any of the above or any other reason, then no, it won’t be fabulous, it will be awful and probably traumatic.

If, however, the thought of having your lover’s entire fist inside you gives you a shiver of erotic anticipation, even if that shiver is tinged with a touch of trepidation due to the unknown - well, give it a go. Assuming of course that your partner has an equal desire to put their entire fist inside you.

I’m going to refer to vaginal fisting here. Anal fisting is of course a possibility, in which case follow this general procedure but with a lot more lube.

Here’s how you do it:

  • First, set the scene and set the rules, so to speak. The receiver needs to be relaxed and comfortable. You both need to agree that you’re proceeding at the receiver’s pace, and that she’ll let the partner know if she needs proceedings to slow down or stop.
  • Then, she needs to be aroused. When a woman is aroused and relaxed her vagina will relax and open, so make sure there’s plenty of kissing and stroking all over and whatever kind of genital stimulation gets her relaxed and aroused.
  • Fister: have plenty of lube on hand (that’s a pun!), even if you can get your fingers in chances are you’ll need it for the base of the hand. And most importantly, take your time. Go very very slowly. First one finger, then two, then three. Once they’re all in you can gently but firmly apply pressure to ease the hand in so that the little finger and most of the thumb is in. And then the widest part of the hand, around the base of the thumb will the hardest, but gently gently, applying steady pressure, or alternating pressure with release so there’s more of a slow pulse to enter, or twist your wrist and spiral your way in…and you’re in.
  • Receiver: focus on breathing and relaxing your body, particularly your hips and pelvis, feeling that you are opening your body and inviting your partner in deeper and deeper.
  • Or not, if it’s too much. You can stop at any time, and that’s perfectly fine.
  • Fister, if you do make it in, and she’s enjoying the sensation, then you can waggle your fingers and move around a bit, explore, experiment - always focusing on her response and her enjoyment.
  • And then slowly, slowly ease your way out.
  • Then give her time to recover, as it’s a pretty intense experience. Check to see what she needs, a cuddle, her hand held, time to come back to normal, a cup of tea…


That’s fisting in a nutshell, and if that appeals and feels good when you do it, then fist away! For you fisting can indeed be fabulous.

And if doesn’t appeal, or you’ve tried it and it hasn’t done anything for you, then take it off the menu and do things that are fabulous for you.

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#114: Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely

Published Monday, February 23, 2015


I don’t really like using a cheesy romance as a basis for sex education, but hey, with all the fuss about 50 Shades The Movie, here I go.

But before I do, let’s clarify a few things:

1. It’s a story not a documentary.

2. Research has shown that people who engage in BDSM are more psychologically stable than the population as a whole.

3. The final scene would not happen in real life if he was as experienced as portrayed.

Now, to the content. Overall, just like the book, it’s Mills & Boon meets BDSM. It’s romance genre, it’s not meant to be taken seriously. Just as no-one takes Game of Thrones seriously - I’ve just watched all four series and have never been exposed to so much rape, carnage, violence, abuse, sadism, and general Machiavellian nastiness in my life. But hey, it’s good entertainment!

The movie, like the book, is about two people developing a relationship, interspersed with some soft porn scenes which are titillating, if mild sensual BDSM is part of your personal eroticism, bewildering or even disturbing if it’s not.

The difference between the movie and the book: in the book you turn the page after that awful scene where he seriously hurts her - and he’s completely horrified that she hadn’t used her safe word. In the movie it leaves you hanging having just viewed what looks suspiciously like domestic violence.

One of the essential requirements to expanding sexual play in any way is mutual responsibility. The more out there you go, the more important it is that you communicate with your partner about how you’re finding the experience, and your partner responds positively to that communication.

This is essentially what differentiates BDSM from domestic violence: mutual consent, equal participation, mutual responsibility.

She should have let him know it was too much for her.

Having said that, he should have realised that he was going too hard. That’s the most unrealistic part of the movie, an experienced dom like him would never be so unaware.

It’s like wearing a seatbelt when driving a car, you have a safe word when playing with BDSM. If you don’t, you might be fine most of the time, but if it goes bad it will be much worse without the seatbelt/safeword.

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt, and admittedly he was driving too fast. Neither were playing safe, and they both got hurt.

All sexual interaction, straight, kinky, whatever, is supposed to be about pleasure.

If it’s not pleasurable, don’t do it.

And if you do it, play safe.

Simple.

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#114: Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely

Published Monday, February 16, 2015

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    #122: DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life
    #121: Move Beyond Sleaze and Shame and Discover The Third Wave of Sexuality
    #120: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It
    #119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage
    #118: We’re All Individuals! There are Spectra of Sexuality
    #117: My Book "Seven Sex Goddesses" Released!
    #116: Can Fisting Be Fabulous?
    #115: Ten Reasons Why Married Women Have Affairs, and What To Do When She Does
    #114: Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely
    #113: Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down - how to add restraint to your sex life
    #112: What’s Your Eroticism - Intimate, Wild, Fun?
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    #104: Consensual Non-Monogamy
    #103: Languid 69
    #102: Sensual Non-Monogamy
    #101: Make Love to Yourself - Mindful Masturbation for Women
    #100: Celibacy, Sexuality and Spirituality
    Bloglovin
    #99: Spice Alone Tastes Terrible...
    #98: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
    #97: Plugging In - Sex Without Movement
    #96: Growing Better With Age
    #95: Teaching Tantra in Paradise
    #94: Time Apart Can Be Erotic
    #93: When He's Lost Interest
    #92: Q&A: Why Doesn’t Porn Do It for Me?
    #91: If Sex Hurts, Change What You're Doing
    #90: Some Words for the Lower Desire Partner
    #89: Trust Your Body
    #88: Chill Out in Your Sanctuary
    #87: Planning for Pleasure
    #86: Make the Lead-Up Erotic
    #85: Advice from Japanese Grandmothers on How to Be Beautiful
    #84: If You Want A Mature Relationship You Have To Be Mature
    #83: How Often Should We Have Sex?
    #82: Slay the Pink Elephants!
    #81: The Tantric Lounge Radio Show - Talking Sex, Science and Spirituality
    #80: What Do Men Love Best About Sex?
    #79: Fetishes are Fine
    #78: The Awesomeness of Men Who Are Present
    #77: Sex Doesn't Have to Involve the Genitals
    #76: Winter's a Time for Sexual Growth
    #75: An Erection Does Not Have To Be Serviced
    #74: "My Ejaculation Opens the Door to Deeper Orgasm"
    #73: To Come or Not To Come
    #72: Know Your Sexual Rhythm
    #71: Fill Up Your Self-Love Tank
    #70: The Cup-of-Tea Approach to Sexual Self-Coaching
    #69: Trust Means Being OK with Not Knowing
    #68: Renegotiate Your Contract
    #67: Breathe Together - It's Tantric Foreplay
    #66: The Number One Secret to Good Sex
    #65: An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away - why sex is so good for you
    #64: Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra
    #63: Is “Good Enough” Sex Good Enough?
    #62: Observing Love
    #61: There Is Always A Lower Desire Partner
    #60: You Can't Find Balance, You Have To Craft It
    #59: Sexual, Spiritual Business Leaders
    #58: Positive Messages in 50 Shades of Grey
    #57: Playing with Pleasure and Pain
    #56: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - Advanced
    #55: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - The Basics
    #54: Three Good Reasons To Read Erotica
    #53: Tantric Kink
    #52: Tools for Self-Validation from a Luscious Woman
    #51: How to Master the Art of Vaginal Stimulation
    #50: Discover the G, A and Ohhhh-Spots
    #49: The Tantric Quickie
    #48: We All Need To Be Balanced in Our Masculine and Feminine Sides
    #47: One Couple's "Kilimanjaro Walk" to Sexual Reconnection
    #46: Feminine Receptivity and the Go-Getter Kind of Gal
    #45: The Etiquette of Observing Breasts
    #44: The World is Waking to Conscious Sex
    #43: Try A Little Tenderness
    #42: Erotica or Sleaze
    #41: A Sensual Man Makes A Great Lover
    #40: Sensuality Feeds Sexuality
    #39: What is Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching and Tantra Teaching?
    #38: The Beauty of Conflict
    #37: A Woman's Body Opens In Stages
    #36: Breathe Well: Live & Love Well
    #35: Phone Sex
    #34: Do Your Research - It's Fun!
    #33: Unconditional Love Requires Self-validation
    #32: Men Need a Muse Not Just A Vagina
    #31: Teaching Tantra in Thailand
    #30: Being Real
    #29: Twelve Benefits of Sex
    #28: Communicate - Human's Can't Read Minds!
    #27: True Intimacy
    #26: The Core of Tantra: Real Sex
    #25: Sex as Entree not Dessert
    #24: Fire and Water: The Masculine and Feminine Sexual Energies
    #23: High Libido Women Keep Themselves Simmering
    #22: The Breadth of Sexuality & the Importance of Fun
    #21: Prioritising Sex
    #20: Obligation Sex is Self-Imposed Low-Level Sexual Trauma
    #19: Not-So-Secret Men's Business
    #18: Could We Have A Festival of Sexuality?
    #17: Three Things a Whole Man Needs
    #16: Valuing the Masculine
    #15: Valuing the Feminine
    #14: Face the Darkness to Find the Light
    #13: Grow Up and Open Up Australia
    #12: How Men Can Circulate Sexual Energy
    #11: The Great G-Spot & Female Ejaculation Debate!
    #10: Sexual Pleasure is the Great Equalizer
    #9: Become a Black Belt in the Bedroom!
    #8: Neuroplasticity - Moulding Your Brain for Better Sex
    #7: Raise Your Sexual Energy
    #6: How To Consume An Ice-Cream - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 2
    #5: How To Eat A Peach - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 1
    #4: Love in the Time of Chaos
    #3: A History of Sexual Misinformation
    #2: Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth
    #1: The Birth of the LoveLife Blog - with some underlying philosophical ramblings

    #376: What is Transpersonal Sexology
    #366: The Seven Flavours of Sex
    #365: Live in the "Simmer Zone"
    #364: Suggest Don't Ask
    #363: Take the Pressure Off Your Penis!
    #362: Don't Let Your Primitive Brain Rule Your Relationship
    #361: Great Sex is Not About Speed
    #360: Sexual KPIs - Key Pleasure Indicators
    #359: Your Relationship is Like a Boat that Carries you through Life
    #358: Talk 'Erotic' Not 'Dirty'
    #357: Great Sex is Rarely Spontaneous
    #356: Approaching Sex As A Spiritual Practice
    #355: You're Not Alone - Sexual Struggle is Normal
    #354: Let Nature Boost Your Libido
    #353: Invite and Envelop
    #352: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss
    #351: How to "Start the Dominos Falling"
    #350: Move Towards Love-Led not Lust-Led Sex
    #349: The Yin & Yang of Erotic Physiology
    #348: Should Age Like A Fine Wine
    #347: We All Need To “Come Out” To Our Unique Sexuality
    #346: Burn Away the Undergrowth to Allow New Growth
    #345: Don't Push a Relationship to Crisis Point, End It Sooner
    #344: When It Gets Awkward in Bed
    #343: It's Normal to Find Other People Attractive
    #342: The Dance of Initiation
    #341: We All Need A Phone Policy!
    #340: What Comes Before Consent
    #339: More than Sex-Positive, We Need to be Sex-Comfortable
    #338: Get Off the Hedonistic Treadmill!
    #337: You Can't Search for Love. It's Already There. You Can Only Remove the Barriers to Let It In
    #336: How to Communicate Complaints Effectively
    #335: Nurture Your Soul with Sex
    #334: How to Express Your Emotions Without Being "Emotional"
    #333: Q&A: We're Time Poor - How Do We Add Some Zing?
    #332: Be Conscious Not Complacent
    #331: It's Ok to Disappoint Your Partner
    #330: Moans & Groans – why sound is good in sex and how to make more
    #329: Gateways to the Erotic Shift
    #328: Safety is Sexy
    #327: Pace Your Sexual Interactions
    #326: Fly on the Wall Friday - my new Video Series
    #325: When Things Get Wobbly Assume the Best and Get Curious
    #324: How Alike do you Need to be to Have a Good Relationship
    #323: Be "At Home" in Your Body
    #322: Don't Ever Stop Kissing
    #321: Consent From the Inside
    #320: How To Say No Without It Feeling Like Rejection
    #319: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 3: Sexual Transformation
    #318: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 2: Relational Transformation
    #317: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 1: Personal Transformation
    #316: Take Your Partner Off A Sexual Pedestal
    #315: Finesse Your Expertise on Each Other
    #314: A Lingering Sense of Each Other
    #313: How Do You Know When You're Having Good Sex?
    #312: Conflict is Inevitable So Learn to Prevent, Manage and Repair
    #311: The Bridgerton Effect
    #310: Cuddle plus – an essential phase of the affection-sex continuum
    #309: Moment-by-Moment Consent
    #308: How To Give (and Receive) An Erotic Spanking
    #307: Three Types of Sexual Communication: Chit-chat, In-the-moment and the Debrief
    #306: What I Desire
    #305: Lazy Sex
    #304: It's Not "Needy" to Connect - It's Human!
    #303: The Art of the Thrust
    #302: Transformational Erotica
    #301: Sex As Embodied Mindfulness Practice
    #300: So Many Ways to Eat, So Many Ways to…
    #299: Date Night or Date Day?
    #298: Teenage Love-Making
    #297: Turning Sex Lives Upside-Down - It's My Life's Work!
    #296: The Sex Store in Your Pantry
    #295: Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
    #294: Take Your Penis for a Walk!
    #293: It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
    #292: Become a Sensual Explorer
    #291: Q&A: My Wife Won't Pleasure Herself in Front of Me
    #290: Subtle Shifts to Great Sex
    #289: Q&A: My Husband Can't Keep an Erection, and He Smokes Lots of Marajuana
    #288: Love in the Time of COVID-19
    #287: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Climax from Oral Sex and I'm Worried
    #286: Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
    #285: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Like Kissing - what to do?
    #284: Communing - deep intimate connection
    #283: Q&A: We Want to Try a Threesome - how do we do it safely?
    #282: On Being A Human in a Female Body
    #281: Q&A: How Do We Connect After So Much Stress?
    #280: Get A Life! Your Sex Drive Needs the Dopamine
    #279: Q&A: My Husband Is Having An Affair and I'm Relieved
    #278: Stocking Up Your Love Larder - the key to spontaneous sex
    #277: Q&A: How Do I Flex My New Found Interest in Sex?
    #276: Intercourse as Foreplay
    #275: Q&A: Fun in the Sun - How to Have Safe Holiday Sex
    #274: Bake Your Cake Before You Ice It - the foundation of great sex
    #273: Q&A: Is It Normal to Want Sex Twice A Day?
    #272: How Has Sex Helped You Grow - Research Participants Wanted!
    #271: Q&A: How Do I Meet My Sexual Needs in a Sexless Marriage
    #270: Optimal Sexuality - Reaching Your Sexual Potential
    #269: Q&A: How Do I Get My Mojo Back?
    #268: It's the Sum of the Small Things
    #267: Q&A: How Do We Reignite Our Love Life
    #266: Relationship Vitamins
    #265: I See You as Lover - the importance of attention in loving well
    #264: The Pleasure of A Soft Cock
    #263: Make Every Stroke Count
    #262: You Can Make Love With Just A Kiss
    #261: Finding the 'More' - the Spiritual Dimensions of Sex
    #260: How to Stay In Love
    #259: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 2: How
    #258: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 1: What
    #257: Simple Sex is Good Sex
    #256: Solo Sex: Mindful Masturbation
    #255: Own the Crone
    #254: Porn Star versus Prude
    #253: “When One is Pretending, the Whole Body Revolts”
    #252: Non-Linear Love-Making: the "Picnic" Approach to Sex
    #251: Make Your Bedroom A Sanctuary
    #250: Sexy Debriefing
    #249: Getting "Love Drunk"
    #248: Make-Over Your Sex Life
    #247: Be Real, Express Freely
    #246: The Fairy Tales Got It Wrong
    #245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?
    #244: Gigglegasms
    #243: Evolve with the Seven Elements of Sexuality
    #242: Getting to Sex can be Like Getting to the Gym
    #241: Intensity Repels, Enticement Attracts. Like Chocolate Cake.
    #240: Turn Yourself On and the World Turns On To You
    #239: Therapy is Composting Your Sh*t
    #238: Are You Flat-lining or Surfing in Life?
    #237: How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing in Sex & Relationships
    #236: The Clitoris is Not an On-Off Button
    #235: The Three Phases of Conscious Relationship Evolution
    #234: Allow Self-Indulgence
    #233: Are You Relationship-Oriented?
    #232: Tantra: Sex Through Non-Sex
    #231: A Multitude of Orgasmic Possibilities
    #230: Sink In to Sync In
    #229: Penises - does size really matter?
    #228: What To Do When He Can't Come
    #227: The Adolescent Male Masturbatory Model of Sex
    #226: Merge Sex & Love Energies for Potent Connection
    #225: Sex is a Normal Part of Life
    #224: We Judge ‘Normal’ Sex Based on Our Own Experiences
    #223: How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways...
    #222: Project 'Great Sex'
    #221: Beforeplay Suggestions
    #220: Foreplay and Beforeplay
    #219: How to Heighten Sensory Pleasure
    #218: The Bedroom is for Expression, Not Suppression
    #217: The Three Types of Sex All Couples Need
    #216: Things that make you go 'mmm' and things that make you go 'ngh'
    #215: Libido - the Interplay of Desire and Arousal
    #214: The Good and Bad of Porn
    #213: Bad Communication Styles - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
    #212: My Journey to Becoming A Transpersonal Sexologist
    #211: Seven Sex Tips for Busy People
    #210: Penises Love A Soft Touch
    #209: Share Before You Fix
    #208: The Best Thing A Father Can Do
    #207: The Exquisiteness of a Relaxed Vagina
    #206: The Look of Love - Eye-Gazing
    #205: Quanta of Deliciousness
    #204: How to Maintain the “Mmm-Factor”
    #203: How to Have 'Dirty' Sex With Someone You Love
    #202: Seven Benefits of Attending A LoveLife Couples Tantra Retreat
    #201: Make Sex Your Hobby
    #200: Partnered Sex is Not Solo Sex for Two
    #199: Melting Moments
    #198: Your Partner Can't Be Everything To You
    #197: Sex is Good, Sleep is Better!
    #196: Savour Sex
    #195: How To Live A Tantric Life
    #194: Be Kind - It Works
    #193: How to Push Your Sexual Boundaries
    #192: Good Rest=Good Sex
    #191: We Need Bliss
    #190: Being Sexually Receptive is Not Being Sexually Passive
    #189: So Much Love
    #188: A High-Quality Relationship is a High-Maintenance Relationship
    #187: Sex as Spiritual Practice
    #186: Playing with the Yin and Yang of Sex
    #185: The Yin and Yang of Sex
    #184: Third Level Love-Making
    #183: Vive La Difference!
    #182: What Is a Marriage Sabbatical and Why Take One?
    #181: The Basic Sexual Unit is One
    #180: A Penis is for Connection, not Penetration
    #179: Men Have Not Evolved to 'Sow Their Seed Widely'
    #178: Big Sex is Beautiful Sex
    #177: Women Are Not 'Naturally' Monogamous
    #176: Sex Therapy and Couples Retreats - What to do if you have a Reluctant Partner
    #175: The Chilled Build - How to Get in the Mood for Sex
    #174: Mums and Dads Need "Cuddle Time"
    #173: Giving Good Head Does Not Mean Simulating A Vacuum Cleaner
    #172: Is Porn Making Women Less Feminine?
    #171: Is Porn Making Men Less Masculine?
    #170: Rough Sex
    #169: The Three Pillars of Love
    #168: Seven Benefits of Attending My Couples Retreats
    #167: Ban Penetration - the word, not the act!
    #166: Solo Cultivation - Mindful Masturbation for Men
    #165: Our Bodies Thrive on Pleasure
    #164: Leela: Cosmic Play, Sexual Play
    #163: Toys for Grown-Ups
    #162: Backdoor Pleasures - how to enjoy anal sex
    #161: The Sexual Glutton vs The Sexual Gourmet
    #160: Erotic Wickedness - How to Play with Power Exchange
    #159: Practice Expressing Your Feelings For Greater Connection and Better Sex
    #158: Let’s Talk About Our Sex
    #157: Love Your Breasts
    #156: Ditch the Sex Myths
    #155: Relax Into Orgasm
    #154: When A Woman Is Free To Be Herself Sex Takes On A Spiritual Dimension
    #153: It All Starts With A Kiss…
    #152: The Ecstasy is in the Spaces In-Between
    #151: Radical Honesty
    #150: Strength in Softness, Softness in Strength
    #149: Your New Year's Resolution - Have Better Sex
    #148: Peace, Pleasure and Goodwill to All
    #147: A Beautiful Vulva is Like A Luscious Hamburger
    #146: Come From a Place of "Yes"!
    #145: Finger Finesse
    #144: Reluctance is Not frigidity, It’s Body Intelligence - She’s Not Ready!
    #143: Tantra: The Art of Mindful Sex
    #142: Love Thy Partner
    #141: ‘Invitation’ not ‘Penetration’
    #140: Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines
    #139: Sex is the Base of Being Human
    #138: Awaken Your Vagina for the Kind of Sex All Women (and their Partners) Deserve
    #137: Bonking on the Right Side of the Brain
    #136: Have Sex with God…
    #135: So Many Boxes - So Little Freedom
    #134: How to Move Forward When Your Partner Has Betrayed You
    #133: The Reason Why Humans Are So Sexual
    #132: Partnered Yoga - Erotic Connection
    #131: Make Love Like You’re Playing An Instrument For Ultimate Sensual Pleasure
    #130: How to Talk to Kids About Sex - and why you need to
    #129: Inviting A Third (or fourth or more…) - the right way to play
    #128: Does Size Really Matter?
    #127: The Way of the Householder - how to make the everyday sublime
    #126: Our Bodies Are the Best Sex Toy Ever
    #125: Honour Your Genitals for Exquisite Sex - the Why and How
    #124: Tango Tantra - Make Your Love Life Blissfully Connected
    #123: The Yin & Yang of Sex Chemistry
    #122: DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life
    #121: Move Beyond Sleaze and Shame and Discover The Third Wave of Sexuality
    #120: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It
    #119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage
    #118: We’re All Individuals! There are Spectra of Sexuality
    #117: My Book "Seven Sex Goddesses" Released!
    #116: Can Fisting Be Fabulous?
    #115: Ten Reasons Why Married Women Have Affairs, and What To Do When She Does
    #114: Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely
    #113: Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down - how to add restraint to your sex life
    #111: 10 Tips For Your Vagina
    #112: What’s Your Eroticism - Intimate, Wild, Fun?
    #110: When the Man Leads, the Woman Embellishes
    #109: Unblock Sexual Energy for Greater Love
    #108: The Sensual Dom(me)
    #107: Explore Your Fantasies
    #106: Dress-Ups! How to have fun with role-play.
    #105: Consensual Non-Monotony
    #104: Consensual Non-Monogamy
    #103: Languid 69
    #102: Sensual Non-Monogamy
    #101: Make Love to Yourself - Mindful Masturbation for Women
    #100: Celibacy, Sexuality and Spirituality
    #99: Spice Alone Tastes Terrible...
    #98: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
    #97: Plugging In - Sex Without Movement
    #96: Growing Better With Age
    #95: Teaching Tantra in Paradise
    #94: Time Apart Can Be Erotic
    #93: When He's Lost Interest
    #92: Q&A: Why Doesn’t Porn Do It for Me?
    #91: If Sex Hurts, Change What You're Doing
    #90: Some Words for the Lower Desire Partner
    #89: Trust Your Body
    #88: Chill Out in Your Sanctuary
    #87: Planning for Pleasure
    #86: Make the Lead-Up Erotic
    #85: Advice from Japanese Grandmothers on How to be Beautiful
    #84: If You Want A Mature Relationship You Have To Be Mature
    #83: How Often Should We Have Sex?
    #82: Slay the Pink Elephants!
    #81: The Tantric Lounge Radio Show - Talking Sex, Science and Spirituality
    #80: What Do Men Love Best About Sex?
    #79: Fetishes are Fine
    #78: The Awesomeness of Men Who Are Present
    #77: Sex Doesn't Have to Involve the Genitals
    #76: Winter's a Time for Sexual Growth
    #75: An Erection Does Not Have To Be Serviced
    #74: "My Ejaculation Opens the Door to Deeper Orgasm"
    #73: To Come or Not To Come
    #72: Know Your Sexual Rhythm
    #71: Fill Up Your Self-Love Tank
    #70: The Cup-of-Tea Approach to Sexual Self-Coaching
    #69: Trust Means Being OK with Not Knowing
    #68: Renegotiate Your Contract
    #67: Breathe Together - It's Tantric Foreplay
    #66: The Number One Secret to Good Sex
    #65: An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away - why sex is so good for you
    #64: Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra
    #63: Is “Good Enough” Sex Good Enough?
    #62: Observing Love
    #61: There Is Always A Lower Desire Partner
    #60: You Can't Find Balance, You Have To Craft It
    #59: Sexual, Spiritual Business Leaders
    #58: Positive Messages in 50 Shades of Grey
    #57: Playing with Pleasure and Pain
    #56: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - Advanced
    #55: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - The Basics
    #54: Three Good Reasons To Read Erotica
    #53: Tantric Kink
    #52: Tools for Self-Validation from a Luscious Woman
    #51: How to Master the Art of Vaginal Stimulation
    #50: Discover the G, A and Ohhhh-Spots
    #49: The Tantric Quickie
    #48: We All Need To Be Balanced in Our Masculine and Feminine Sides
    #47: One Couple's "Kilimanjaro Walk" to Sexual Reconnection
    #46: Feminine Receptivity and the Go-Getter Kind of Gal
    #45: The Etiquette of Observing Breasts
    #44: The World is Waking to Conscious Sex
    #43: Try A Little Tenderness
    #42: Erotica or Sleaze
    #41: A Sensual Man Makes A Great Lover
    #40: Sensuality Feeds Sexuality
    #39: What is Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching and Tantra Teaching?
    #38: The Beauty of Conflict
    #37: A Woman's Body Opens In Stages
    #36: Breathe Well: Live & Love Well
    #35: Phone Sex
    #34: Do Your Research - It's Fun!
    #33: Unconditional Love Requires Self-validation
    #32: Men Need a Muse Not Just A Vagina
    #31: Teaching Tantra in Thailand
    #30: Being Real
    #29: Twelve Benefits of Sex
    #28: Communicate - Human's Can't Read Minds!
    #27: True Intimacy
    #26: The Core of Tantra: Real Sex
    #25: Sex as Entree not Dessert
    #24: Fire and Water: The Masculine and Feminine Sexual Energies
    #23: High Libido Women Keep Themselves Simmering
    #22: The Breadth of Sexuality & the Importance of Fun
    #21: Prioritising Sex
    #20: Obligation Sex is Self-Imposed Low-Level Sexual Trauma
    #19: Not-So-Secret Men's Business
    #18: Could We Have A Festival of Sexuality?
    #17: Three Things a Whole Man Needs
    #16: Valuing the Masculine
    #15: Valuing the Feminine
    #14: Face the Darkness to Find the Light
    #13: Grow Up and Open Up Australia
    #12: How Men Can Circulate Sexual Energy
    #11: The Great G-Spot & Female Ejaculation Debate!
    #10: Sexual Pleasure is the Great Equalizer
    #9: Become a Black Belt in the Bedroom!
    #8: Neuroplasticity - Moulding Your Brain for Better Sex
    #7: Raise Your Sexual Energy
    #6: How To Consume An Ice-Cream - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 2
    #5: How To Eat A Peach - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 1
    #4: Love in the Time of Chaos
    #3: A History of Sexual Misinformation
    #2: Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth
    #1: The Birth of the LoveLife Blog - with some underlying philosophical ramblings

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    "This course has, after 29yrs of adolescent masturbatory style sex, been HUGE with some major penny-drops. I love your approach!"

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    "Luscious Woman was so useful and very much applies to the modern lush woman who wants to feel and be even more empowered!"

    "I really enjoyed all the loving energy in the room. I've certainly never experienced anything like it before. "

    "I really enjoyed this book. It contains some great concepts that I’ve really been able to put into practice."

    "This book is beautifully clear and succinct, a real treasure."

    "I've seen so many therapists but you're amazing! I come out of each session so much more self-aware and enlightened."

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    "It feels like I am taking possession of my 'goddesshood'! As a consequence I find that I am now confident and settled and calm with my husband and I can move between the goddesses, giving and receiving as the dance feels right. It's quite glorious, we're loving it. There is so much more I could say - I am so grateful and joyous! Thank you so much for your dedication, commitment, honesty and love."

    "We loved that this book is about simple fundamentals, not superficial tips and tricks."

    "Thank you for a wonderful retreat. All the things we were worried about turned out to be no concern at all and all the things we were looking forward to turned out to be much better than we dreamed! We are still buzzing from the experience. "

    "We will always remember the weekend, we discovered so much together and shall keep learning with each other with the skills gained for a long time to come. Thank you for such a great experience."

    "I enjoyed doing this course immensely. The content is spot on and you rightly focus on the 'being' rather than the 'doing'. "

    "Sex was just off the agenda and we’d lost connection. We couldn’t recommend this book more. It really will help"

    "It’s made us realise how important it is to always be there for each other, to prioritise us, even though it’s so easy to be distracted."

    "This book has changed our lives. It’s all good practical common-sense - and it works!"

    "I am personally so grateful for participating in Saturday's Tantric Lounge, connecting with a group of people with beautiful, fertile rich energy."

    "Your workshops are so fun, connective and amazing, just a joy to participate in. You definitely have great skills in putting together a very cool experience for people."

    "This weekend has been so much more than we expected. Solidifying in a way we didn’t anticipate. It has opened our eyes to even more possibilities."

    "A really powerful, transformative experience. I feel I have reclaimed something precious and essential."

    "I just am finishing the Luscious Woman course. It has been such an inspiring course and you have such a fabulous gift for taking all the awkwardness out of sexuality and turning it into such a lovely and beautiful thing to embrace. My husband is the doing the black belt in the bedroom course as well and its been so amazing watching him develop into the soft, loving and passionate man I knew he could be. We are so grateful for your course, your passion and wish everyone who wants to expand their sexual understand could know about this course. "

    "You've changed the whole way I look at sex, now I feel so much more positive and free and empowered!"

    "The couples retreat is something every couple should do if they can. The course is refreshing, inspiring and gave our relationship a fun tool set to set us up for a joyful life together. It’s not just about sex (though that stuff was great), it debunks myths and starts a conversation that changed our relationship - definitely for the better. Jacqueline has a gift to make everyone feel comfortable. Don’t wait until there is a ‘problem’ - all relationships can be improved. Would recommend to all couples!"

    "Thank you for the weekend retreat - I greatly enjoyed and learned a lot at it. Your combination of spirituality and philosophy meeting is an inspiration."

    "My sessions with Jacqueline were like a great conversation with a very wise sister/friend. She helped me through the end of my 25 year marriage with compassion and insight, giving me perspective, coping skills and a gentle push where required. I’m so grateful to have had her wise counsel."

    "We had a fabulous time at the retreat. The surroundings, the people, and the teachings were all a blessing. It has taught us to explore new horizons in our love relationship and has brought our connection closer. We will be using all the techniques in the time to come as our sex life develops and improves. In fact, the results have been almost instantaneous!"

    "What do I say to you for taking me on a magical adventure of discovery yet again? My most heartfelt thanks for an incredible Saturday night at The Tantric Lounge."

    "I wish we’d had this book when our first bub was born. But better late than never, it’s been a great help second time around!"

    "It was a really powerful, transformative experience. I feel I have reclaimed something precious and essential with the help of a group of loving, supportive women. It made me appreciate how much healing we can do as women when we come together and share our experiences."

    "Hol-ee f@ck you can write, Bravo!!! ;) I've been reading your things for years, but the Goddesses are tying it all together so exquisitely. Thank-you, and Wow! "

    "I thought this retreat would expand our sex life, but it didn’t so much expand as turn our sex life upside down! I’m now seeing the world with a new, exciting, slightly bewildering new light!"

    "Your program also seriously helped me understand my own male sexuality so much better. A big thank you for helping me with what I needed to hear! It is so awesome what you do, it is life changing for us on this end, and you are such a natural!"

    "I feel far more comfortable with myself and have a willingness to explore and grow in this rather new area of my life - how exciting."

    "I don't think it is over-stating to say that I would call the course 'life changing'. In essence I believe it has been a major catalyst in deep healing, a fundamental shift in personal and spiritual growth, and lasting and evolving change in self confidence, body awareness, self acceptance and ongoing sexual exploration."

    "I really got what it means to come into my masculine sexual energy, with strength and confidence and no macho or aggression. Feels great! (And my wife is beaming!)"

    "You have such a fabulous gift for taking all the awkwardness out of sexuality and turning it into such a lovely and beautiful thing to embrace. "

    "We really love coming to see you, as you offer us such support and have made a huge difference to our lives."

    "You’ve really helped me tap into something wonderful and powerful. I’ve discovered where I was letting myself down and have been enjoying 'filling in the blanks’."

    "I feel an enormous sense of relief that we have a platform to communicate about intimacy and sex in an open respectful and adult way."

    "Thank-you for creating a safe space for us all to learn, grow and share. Absolutely essential for all women who want to thrive, not just survive."

    "A huge thank you with all my heart for the unique and beautiful experience that you created for all of us on the weekend. It was such a magnificent experience and I am amazed at how much the Luscious Woman weekend boosted my confidence, I feel fantastic. What you give to others is such a beautiful gift you’re an inspiration to everyone around you."

    "We have noticed a real shift in our energies towards each other since seeing you, almost like switching from AM to FM radio, the difference is that noticeable."

    "You’re the first of many counsellors who really feels comfortable and is coming from a practical, understandable place. You've helped us find the key and it's really quite simple."

    "It's been a deep, profound and subtle spiritual liberation. It's given me the freedom and empowerment to open up and allow myself to feel and to express how I feel, in every way. This feeling of liberation and love and power and openness pervades my whole life and how I live now, and I can see the effect it has on others too and how they respond to me. It's very subtle, but soooo powerful and wonderful. It feels like it is radiating out from the very core of my being and is an all encompassing love, so, very much including, but not just about, my sexual being."

    "I felt so useless and alone after I had my baby, and forcing myself to have sex with my husband made it worse. This book has helped me see in little ways how I can enjoy being a mother and a wife - which means I can enjoy being me! Thank-you."

    "Thank-you for so deliciously weaving my sexually and spiritually together again, I now feel the way I’ve always wanted and known I could feel."

    "The videos were beautifully engaging. You've condensed the essence of being a lover from the male perspective into an easy to follow course and I can only wish I had discovered this course ages ago and saved myself 15 years of trial & error with my wife! "

    "Taking Black Belt completely revolutionized my thinking about sex and has had a long lasting positive influence on my sex life."

    "The opening up to my own sexuality and what it means for us as a couple has been way beyond my expectations. I’ve felt safe and loved the sense of playfulness and the choices we’ve had whether or how to participate. I go away hugely enriched."

    "Loved this book - it was made for busy people like us. Thank-you for guiding and inspiring us!"

    "Your book made me realise not only what I’d lost, but how to regain it. I’m loving getting in touch with the goddesses in all parts of my life - including sexually!"

    "Luscious Woman has truly shifted my thinking, my life and me, in a wonderful direction. Thank you so much Jacqueline."

    "Thanks so much for a life changing weekend. I honestly mean it! I feel like a completely different person!!!!!"

    "Your Tantra workshops are fundamental to the health and sustainability of all relationships, regardless. In this faster than ever paced world, over stimulated and titillated, and where choice and everything-can-be-had as a retail experience is omnipresent, your guidance is like a light through the darkness..."

    "Thank you for your warm vibrant energy, enthusiasm and passion. You've given a recently fatigued man the tools to recover his mojo."

    "We weren’t in a very good place. Reading Jacqueline’s book together made the world of difference and we’re stronger for it"

    "Working on the solution instead of the problem has taken me further forward then anything else I have tried."

    "I have had a really lovely shift and have felt subtle changes in my approach to myself and body. "

    "Thanks again for your brilliant life-changing support. "

    "Since Black Belt my partner has said that our sex life has turned 180 degrees, and that you are a miracle worker !"

    "It is beautiful how each activity builds on the previous one like blocks, so that by the end of the evening we are engaging in the most divine magical experiences that we could never have got to otherwise!"

    "Thanks so much for a life changing five days! We were truly impacted and challenged beyond our expectations so thank you."

    "Seeing Jacqueline has been by far one of the best decisions we have made. Before seeking her help I was very sad about our situation. I am so happy to say that as a direct result of her thoughtful guidance we are in such a different and better place in our sex life."

    "It was all about rediscovering and embracing being a woman, and everything that surrounds that."

    "We've just spent a wonderful weekend with Jacqueline. Her workshops are fun, informative, sensual, and in many ways deeply profound - the weekend brought us closer in ways we could never have imagined. Thank-you for filling up our love bank!"

    "Thank-you for for so skillfully weaving my sexuality and spirituality back together. I now feel the way I’ve always wanted to feel."

    "I'm so happy with ME, where I am and where we are as a couple. This is where I've been trying to get for so long and now I'm here! Thanks - you're the best!"

    "Thanks so much for a life changing 5 days! We were truly impacted and challenged beyond our expectations so thank you."

    "I never thought I’d lose my libido - but I did! Who’d have thought one little baby could be so exhausting! Your book made so much sense - it explained why I was feeling this way, why my partner was feeling this way, and what we could do about it."

    "We want to thank you so very much for the most wonderful week in paradise, both literally and metaphorically. Having been to your workshops previously we knew for sure that we were in for a week of lusciousness, but our week with you in Bali was more gloriously luscious and inspiring than we could have imagined."

    "The Tantric Lounge has surpassed any expectations I had of attending such an event and I find myself feeling exhilarated from the experience to a whole new degree after each session."

    "We used to fight constantly about sex, I never thought we'd find a way out. Then we found you and that's all changed. You're awesome!"

    "I never expected the Luscious Woman Workshop to have such a dramatic change on how I view myself and how I now feel sexy, feminine and graceful. I've never said those words about myself before!"

    "Thank you for the wonderful Tantric Lounge session, we really enjoyed it. You are a very good facilitator, and an absolute expert in this area of life and love."

    "Now we understand why you wanted us to attend one of your retreats. We learnt so much from you in private sessions, but doing your couples retreat has really taken us so much further and deeper. It’s been absolutely wonderful, far more transformative than we could ever have imagined."

    "Love your work. You’re speaking the language and have a super in-depth understanding which I respect!"

    "We LOVED the retreat. You created a safe, adult, sexy space where we could be honest and open, exploring ourselves and the connection that exists in really different ways than we've ever been able to in the past. Your rich and sensitive holding of the spiritual side, and ease of its emergence as sexual energy - an energy to draw the other in and connect with - was really a gift and a beautiful model to offer. "

    "A massive thank you for all your guidance and wisdom. Your sex therapy played a very significant role in changing our lives forever."

    "Thank you for teaching me how to treat my wife (with numerous chronic illnesses) in a spirit of compassion while opening up a multitude of possibilities for both of us to experience giving and receiving."

    "Before meeting Jacqueline we were fumbling around in the dark, I couldn’t go the distance and this left my beloved underwhelmed. We were caught in the daily grind, were sexually frustrated and wanting a more satisfying experience. Since Jacqueline’s sex coaching our lovemaking has become light-hearted, our lives filled with romance, dating, petting, smooches. When we make love the time is intimate, fun, erotic, orgasmic and/or all of the above. We’ve never been happier, whole or as complete – and can’t thank you enough."