It's Autumn, the “season of mists and mellow fruitfulness” to quote Keats - a time of ripening and reaching fulfillment. Mmm, doesn’t that sound so sexual!

It’s not an intense, fiery time of year though and I don’t advocate an overly intense approach to sex.

Too many people go too far too quick, rushing into it, without allowing the time for the ‘ripening’ in order to achieve real sexual fulfillment.

Truly awesome sex always takes connection, a 'sinking in' within oneself and with each other. It’s different from the rapid-fire approach to sexual excitation, which is the more “normal” mode in this society. With this sinking in comes a ‘syncing in’, where you can let go and really feel each other, really tune in - and for a while the two can indeed become 'one'.

This is so different to the performance approach so many people are trapped in, with each person in their head, wondering if they’re doing the 'right' thing or responding in the 'right' way, or thinking about something else entirely and wishing it was all over!

With sinking in to sync in, it’s not about the head, it’s about two bodies moving in union, in an unstructured flow of pleasure. No expectations, no focus on orgasm, it’s just about the pleasure. That pleasure can be slow and sensual or intense and hard, it can be short or it can continue for hours. It simply is what it is.

Syncing in is about mindfulness - being present in the moment. Using your breath, your awareness, silencing the monkey chatter, letting go of distractions, and simply being there, allowing your eroticism to express in whatever way is real.

So in the mellow season, take the time to sink in and to sync in, to connect mindfully and with presence, and discover just how sublime love-making can be...