The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Prostate massage can be great for a man - great orgasms, better sex. You have to go in through the bum hole though, so it’s not for everyone. But if you’re game, it can feel fantastic.

Now, you don’t want to go “barreling down to the anus” (to misquote Monty Python), he needs to be warmed up to anal touch. Make sure he’s good and relaxed, you’ve got music playing, soft lighting, whatever makes him (and you as the massager) feel comfortable.

As the massager, you might like to wear a latex glove for cleanliness, or to reduce the ‘ick’ factor of putting your finger up someone’s bum, even if it is your beloved’s bum. (Let’s face it, an asshole can be a cute and endearing part of the anatomy, but it can be a little noisome on the inside).

Here’s how you do it:

  • Start with sensual touch of his whole body. Touch lovingly, slowly, with focus. Move firmly from ankles up his legs to his buttocks and give them a good massage. Rub across his sacrum to warm up the whole area.
  • Then ask him to roll on to his side, back or front. If he’s on his side he’ll need to be in ‘rescue position’ with the top leg bent forward a little; if he’s on his back he’ll need his knees bent and feet flat; on his front he just needs his legs spread, and maybe a pillow under his hips to raise them up a bit.
  • Rub your hands up his thigh and between his buttock cheeks, up and down, in fairly firm long strokes.
  • Then massage his perineum (that’s the area between his anus and scrotum) with your thumb or the second joint of your index finger. Rub, press, vibrate.
  • Then touch with your fingers from his tail bone down between his cheeks, across his anus, touching and circling a little as you cross his anus, and onwards across his perineum to his scrotum , and back again. You can cup his balls gently at the end of the movement, or stroke his balls and penis, before turning and going back through to his tailbone again.
  • When you feel he’s ready, and you can always ask to be sure, put a little lubricant on your thumb, gently rest your thumb on his anus and with gentle pressure slowly push your way in. The receiver breathes with the sensation, feeling as though he is ‘breathing’ your thumb in.
  • Once inside a little, feel around for the prostate. It’s a bump on his tummy side, just an inch or so on the inside. Once you’ve found it, run your thumb forward and back, floating over the prostate. Do the same to either side as well, to the 2 o’clock and 10 o’clock positions. You can gently swirl your thumb over the prostate, and experiment with gentle pushing or pulsing over the spot as well.
  • When he’s had enough, slowly remove your thumb, with a sense of him ‘breathing’ it out. Rest your thumb on the outside. 
  • Finish with resting your hands on his body, sacrum and upper back if he’s lying on his front; hip and shoulder if he’s on his side; and chest and just above his penis, or actually cupping his penis if he’s lying on his front.
  • And he’ll probably like a good cuddle too!


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