The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

Growing Better With Age

#99: Growing Better With Age

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 03, 2014



In the spiritual traditions it is said that a man can’t become a good lover until he reaches the age of 50, because until then he is too obsessed with his penis…

That’s a slightly different approach to our standard approach to sex, which is all about the penis and the physical.

Yes, physical sexuality naturally declines with age. Yet our spirituality should grow. So combining sexuality with spirituality, rather than with physicality, means sexuality continues to grow.

If your concept of sex is intense physical coupling, which is what’s promoted in our society, particularly in this porn-obsessed world, then you’ll think that sex inevitably worsens with age.

However, once you make the shift to understanding and embracing the spiritual concepts of sex and sexuality, then a whole new realm of experience and pleasure opens up to you.

No longer will sex be physical rutting, you won’t be shagging like 17 year-olds, you might not even connect genitally, but my gosh you can go to beautiful places, and have orgasmic experiences that far outweigh the momentary flush of a standard genital orgasm (not to imply that those can’t be had too!)

If you age with wisdom, growing in self-awareness and taking good care of yourself physically, then there is every reason for your sexual relating to grow and grow.

Till by the time you’re in your 90’s you’ll be having the most cosmic sex of your life - simply lying next to your lover will envelop you in waves of ecstatic bliss.

But why wait till you’re old? Start now, whatever your age!




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