The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#86: Make the Lead-Up Erotic

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, November 25, 2013

You might be in the mood…

…but by the time you’ve put the dishwasher on, put out the rubbish, checked on the kids, locked the house, brushed your teeth, got changed and hopped into bed… well, somehow the urge has disappeared.

How do you stay in the mood as you lead-up to sex?

Make the lead-up erotic!

If the two of you have had a good cup-of-tea (or cup-of-coffee) connection, or gone for a walk, or watched a happy movie together or whatever, and that’s got you both in the mood, then keep that happy banter up as you both do the last minute chores. Or divide the tasks with a sexy: “Meet you in the bedroom in 20 minutes…first one there lights the candles!”

Either of those approaches will keep the desire bubbling away as you finish the mundane matters of the day, with the anticipation of some delicious pleasures to come.

Then there’s the teeth brushing, the face-washing and the undressing and all that end-of-day body maintenance that needs doing.

Well, if you’re showering, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you how to make that erotic - just jump in together! Or one of you watches while the other washes. Or one of you washes the other.

If you prefer a more private night-time toilette, then a sensuous: “I’ll be out in ten, be ready for me…” can keep your partner in delightful anticipation.

Changing into sexy or sensual nightwear is always a good thing. Brushing your teeth while wearing a silk teddy and satin robe does increase the erotic nature of this ordinary act quite considerably. Or watching your partner brush their teeth in the nude can be quite enticing (it’s amazing how the muscles in his back move as he brushes…mmm, mmm).

I always feel it’s a shame to let a good undress go to waste. So, rather than doing it privately or furtively, take your time and let your partner watch. You don’t have to do a fancy striptease; a simple slow reveal can be enough. Better still, just stand there and let your partner take your clothes off for you, piece-by-piece, kissing each new body part as it is revealed…

Do you need to brush your hair before you retire? Let your partner do it for you. Having your hair brushed, even if you have very little, is one of life’s great sensual delights.

Finally, don’t get in to bed stay on the bed - it’s much more erotic to be on the bed, kissing and stroking, than to be fumbling around under the covers. You can see each other better, you can feel each other’s bodies more easily, there is room to move, it’s easier to use props whether that’s food or oils or sex toys, and importantly, you’re less likely to be tempted by sleep. Falling asleep mid-foreplay is not erotic.

So think about what you need to do at the end of the day and get creative turning the mundane into the erotic!


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