For Couples
Couples Intimacy Masterclass
Reconnect, communicate more openly and rediscover intimacy as a source of joy, playfulness and erotic aliveness.
Explore the MasterclassDownload Audio: Third-Level Love-Making
There’s a wise old saying about spiritual and personal growth:
First there is the mountain
Then there is no mountain
Then there is the mountain again.
What this means is that you have normality, then that disappears while you grow and experience its opposite, and then a new normality comes back again as you integrate the experiences of personal growth.
This ’new’ reality is never the same reality as the one you had before - it might look the same to a casual observer but your experience of it is quite different.
If we’re talking about sex and intimacy, and human sexual potential, then the process is the same as for spiritual growth.
At first, we do standard sex, which generally means focusing on the physical, and ironically, it also means doing sex in our heads. You’ll have heard me describe this in various ways: the performance model of sex, the Three Course Meal approach to sex, the Male Adolescent Masturbatory approach to sex.
This is Level One Sex, where you focus on the ‘peaks’ of sex, the ‘bigger-harder-faster’ approach. Level one sex is about technique, sexual excitation, and explosive orgasms. This is the mountain you start with.
Then you realise that this type of sex is not entirely satisfying, there has to be more. So, you start to explore a deeper approach to sex. You might find that you are attracted to Tantra, with its mindful approach to lovemaking. You find yourselves slowing down, taking time to connect and to build eroticism.
This is Level Two Sex, where you become aware of the ‘valleys’ of sex, where the sensual and subtle create feelings of ecstasy. This is where the mountain disappears, sex is not what it was.
Then the mountain reappears as you combine both the peaks and valleys of sex as well as the physicality of sex and its energetic and spiritual aspects. But the peaks are not the same peaks that you knew before you discovered the valleys. These are peaks of sexual intensity that come with great presence and connection. You swing between the peaks of sexual intensity and the valleys of sexual bliss, in a flow of lovemaking that has no plan or expectation.
This is Level Three Sex - and it is truly awesome.
Explore Jacqueline’s online courses and choose the pathway that speaks to where you are now.
For Couples
Reconnect, communicate more openly and rediscover intimacy as a source of joy, playfulness and erotic aliveness.
Explore the Masterclass
For Men
Cultivate greater confidence, presence and pleasure while transforming the way you approach sex, intimacy and connection.
Explore the Course
For Women
Reconnect with your sensuality, confidence and pleasure, and embrace the fullness of who you are as a sexual being.
Explore the Course
If they’ve inspired a new conversation, offered a different perspective or simply given you something meaningful to reflect on, you’re warmly invited to buy me a chai and help support the creation of more free articles, insights and relationship resources.
Buy me a Chai