The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#10: Sexual Pleasure is the Great Equalizer

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, May 25, 2010

There’s a beautiful quote from the Kama Sutra, which I found in Deepak Chopra’s gorgeously illustrated version:

Sex is a paradox. It needs the difference between man and woman, yet it reminds them that they are not different at all. In this way pleasure is the world’s great equalizer.

This drew me because so much of my work relates to the masculine and feminine sexual energies. These energies are what you bring to the sex act. Yet what you feel and express matters very little between the lovers, male or female.

I do believe the whole Mars-Venus thing is overstated, that it highlights generalized differences rather than focusing on core similarities. There are far more similarities between men and women than there are differences. Particularly if you’re having sex that is deep, connected, erotic.

It is a paradox, because it is through being real and expressing your true self that you get the greatest pleasure, you can lose yourself in the sexual act and through that sexual pleasure you can find yourself.

You get down to your essence, and the essence of your partner. That is neither masculine nor feminine, it just is. It’s where you can even lose that sense of self and other and merge into a greater something, or a greater nothing. Another paradox.

This is where ecstasy turns spiritual, that sense of deep connection with self, with another, and ultimately with everything. Sex like this is in many ways the closest we can get to God. (No wonder the churches prevented people from experiencing good sex, they would have been well out of a job!)

Our emotions, our feelings, our desires, are universal. The potential to experience and express them are also universal, if we allow ourselves to be real and true. From there flows the potential to be and feel everything. As the quote says, pleasure is the world’s great equalizer. Through ecstatic sex we can feel the everything and the nothingness of all that is.


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