The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#167: Ban Penetration! - the word, not the act

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, July 23, 2016

…the word that is, not the act.

I detest the use of the word “penetration” in relation to intercourse.

It’s such an aggressive term. Think about it: what’s a woman going to do if she’s about to be penetrated by a penis? Raise the barricades! Batten down the hatches! Start defensive maneuvers! She’s certainly not going to open up, invite in and welcome the penis into her depths.

I’ve helped numerous women overcome their fear of sex, painful intercourse and vaginismus simply by changing their language around sex.

Even for women without sexual fears, thinking about intercourse as penetration can cause a hardening of the vagina and tensing of the genital area. And causes her to guard herself against the man.

For good sex you want the woman to open herself to her man and invite him in. She needs to be good and ready so that she really wants his penis inside her. If she’s not ready and yearning for it then sex is not going to be good.

Good sex is about two people connecting. The penis enters the vagina and the vagina envelops and embraces the penis.

It’s a two-way, mutual experience.



Listen to the audio version - the LoveLife Podcast!


Recent Posts

Earlier Posts



to LOVELIFE News for regular inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!

For more great sex advice -
read my books!