The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#137: Bonking on the Right Side of the Brain

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 11, 2015

When you “lose yourself” in sex though, you move out of left-brain activity and into a right-brain, creative, flowing, blissful sense of oneness. The sex could be simple or it could be wild and exciting, or any other possibility. You know it’s right brain though because you’re not thinking; you’re just going along with the flow.

You can practice getting into the right side of your brain by meditating. You sink in to yourself, feel the calm descend and still the distracted monkey chatter of the left-brain.

It’s not so hard to do by yourself, with practice. Doing it when you’re making love with another person is pretty challenging though - especially if your mind is full of the nonsense most of us carry around about sex!

All those constant thoughts of: “Am I doing it right?” “Is s/he enjoying it?” “Will I come?” etc, keep you in the left side of your brain - as of course does thinking about the shopping list or the important meeting you’ve got on tomorrow…

To reach your sexual potential you have to learn to move into the right side of your brain. You have to:

  • Ditch the myths that undoubtedly plague you 

  • Stay present in your body 

  • Feel safe and connected with your partner

  • Surrender to the experience without worry or fear

Opening up to another and allowing yourself to become lost in the act of lovemaking is very powerful. When that is done with beauty and poetry and profound feeling, the outcome is the type of ecstasy we yearn for, but that so many rarely find without chemical assistance.

Bonking on the right side of the brain is better bonking, beautiful bonking, and blissful bonking.


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