The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#218: The Bedroom is for Expression, Not Suppression

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, December 02, 2017

Sex is one of the great forms of human self-expression. It's a place where creativity, physical movement, pleasure and joy can manifest, just like the other forms of human expression - music, art, design, dance, cooking, sport, even writing. 

But people don’t often see sex as self-expression. More often sex has so much attached to it that there is more suppression around it than expression.

Hindered by all the myths around sex in our society, caught up in our heads about what we should or shouldn’t be doing, about what’s right or wrong, confusion about expectations and obligations, sex often is more fraught with fearing than open to freeing.

Think about your own sex life: is there more expression or suppression? Would you describe it more as fearful or freeing? If it’s further down the negative end, what can you do to start shifting it to the positive?

• Is it shifts in your head? Do you need to change your way of thinking?

• Is it shifts in your heart? Do you need to change your way of relating?

• Is it shifts in your gut? Do you need to change your way of doing?

Do you have a vision of what a wonderful sex life would be like? Is this vision true to you and your values and your desires, or is it another ‘should’, based on what you think it should be rather than what is right for you?

Sex can, and should (yes, ‘should’, one of the rare occasions when it’s OK to say ‘should’) be a wonderful thing - for you. It can be simple and infrequent if that’s right for you (in fact you don’t have to have sex at all) or it can be your life’s work and passion (then you’d be a sex geek like me). The important thing is that it is life-enhancing, and that by engaging in sex you feel better for it, preferably at many different levels - physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Express yourself!

If you need help moving from suppression to expression, book in for sex therapy at The LoveLife Clinic.


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