The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#139: Sex is the Base of Being Human

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, September 04, 2015

Yesterday I had a wonderful meeting with a wise person. It was one of those meetings where two hours pass in a flash of enthralled conversation. I was sharing my views on sex and life and he listened in rapt attention, so pleased to have found someone who ‘gets it’. As a spiritual seeker himself, he said that he had looked for someone who understood what sex was really about, to no avail.

There are your sexpots, promoting a raunchy and generally superficial approach to sex; there are your spiritual hippie types who might get it but seemed removed from modern reality; and there are your clinicians with their ‘jolly good, sex is a healthy activity’ approach, which is all a bit dry and unsexy. These are all useful approaches in themselves, but not any of them are holistic.

So to find someone who combined the scientific and the spiritual and had a definite sexual edge, well, bring it on!

As he put it so well: Sex is the Base. It’s where life comes from; it’s where everything comes from. All these seekers of meaning and purpose and growth and development won’t get where they’re going unless they address sex. All aspects of sex: the dark and the light, the yin and the yang, the sensual and the sordid, the serious and the play.

Sex is a microcosm of our lives. To put it to one side and get on with ‘the rest of life’ is simply not possible. Not if you want to be complete.

Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically – sex is there in all of it. It’s in the poetry and the beauty, the destruction and the chaos. It’s all life. It all stems from sex.

Sexual energy permeates our lives; it’s what makes us feel alive and vital.

I think that’s one of the reasons why seeing a sex therapist can be so effective in enabling change in people’s lives. Until that’s unblocked, there can’t be real change in people’s lives. The energy needs to flow through your body and out into your life. It has to be unblocked at the base to flow freely, for you to be free.


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