The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#41: A Sensual Man Makes A Great Lover

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, November 07, 2011

What is the number one thing that makes a man a great lover?

His sensuality.

Without sensuality, when a man makes love to his partner, there can be no real connection. Without that connection, the sex becomes uninteresting, even a turn-off for the woman, and the sex dies.

With sensuality, a man can be both tender and commanding, that wonderful combination of the Yin and Yang of a man. This enables a woman to be both yielding and strong, that wonderful combination of the Yin and Yang of a woman.

What that simply means is that when a man is in touch with his sensuality he can really connect with his woman. This enables her to let go with trust and with desire. She can truly open herself to him. She feels his desire as strong without being aggressive and she can yield and open herself up to it.

With sensuality a man can enable his partner’s “energy” to heat her up to boiling point, so that her sexual response is powerful and ecstatic - way more than just a physical response to genital stimulation . You see, when a man tunes into his sensuality his skill as a lover goes way past his physical “technique”. It becomes much less about his “doing” than his “being”. He doesn’t become a great lover by “doing” the right thing with clever tricks and techniques, he becomes a great lover by “being” sensual, by being in tune with himself and his partner at all levels of physicality, as well as emotionally, energetically and spiritually.

Becoming a sensual man is not about becoming an insipid New Age Wimp - far from it. To be truly sensual, a man needs to be strong, he needs to be able to hold his woman with exquisite tenderness and take her to magical places. Not that it needs be all soft. A man in tune with the sensuality of connection can get into rough play or BDSM (Bondage, Discipline and Sado-Masochism), but because he is in tune, because he is coming from a sensual place, he holds his partner safe as they together explore these “darker” areas of sexuality.

What’s more, he will be in tune enough to know how far to go.

A sensual man is a complete man, one capable of making extraordinary love with his partner. And the best news of all - a man can become more sensual with age, and thereby become a better lover with age!

To learn to be a great lover, enrol in my online course for men - Black Belt in the Bedroom!


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