This is a practical activity to explore the polarities of giving and receiving, leading and following, from a place of equality.
Leading is Yang and giving is Yang. Following is Yin and receiving is Yin. When we combine these types of Yin and Yang we get four types of sexual expression: command, seduction, nurture/service and yielding.
Yielding is double yin as it is both following and receiving.
Seduction is yin-yang as it is leading and receiving.
Nurture/Service is yin-yang as it is following and giving.
These four expressions have two polarities:
- The Seduction-Service polarity
- The Command-Yielding polarity
Exploring the Seduction-Service Polarity
Stand facing each other. The Seducer feels into the sense of being the leader and the receiver. They need to ‘draw’ the partner in energetically. When the Server feels the draw they move towards the Seducer.
The Seducer will lead the Server to a location and then instruct the Server as what s/he would like done to themselves. A simple version of this is to ‘instruct the touch’ whereby the Seducer sits or lies down and quietly gives an on-going commentary requesting what they would like. Alternatively, you can ask for more complex pleasures (run me a bath, rub me with oil, undress me slowly, you undress slowly.)
Remember that the Seducer does this for mutual pleasure. The Server will want to do as the Seducer requests for their own pleasure as much as their partner’s. The Server does of course have the right to say no at any time.
Exploring the Command-Yielding Polarity
Stand facing each other. The Commander feels into the sense of being the leader and the giver. They need to ‘draw’ the partner in energetically. When the Yielder feels the draw they move towards the Commander.
The Commander leads the Yielder to a place and proceeds to touch the Yielder for the Commander’s own pleasure. The Yielder simply offers their body for their partner’s pleasure. The simplest version is simply to touch with your hands, more complex versions are to add other implements, food, other sensory experiences.
Remember that the Commander does this for mutual pleasure. The Commander is creating an experience for the Yielder. The Yielder does of course have the right to say stop at any time.