Have you been practicing eating a peach? Savouring its juicy lushness…?
Have you found within you the ability to lose yourself in that peach, to taste, suck, lick and devour it with full sensory awareness and heightened arousal?
Well, hold that space and let’s take that a step further. We’re going to add some technique and look at how to consume an ice-cream.
(If you haven’t read my post on how to eat a peach, go back and read that first, you want to be in that space before continuing.)
The thing about enjoying a peach in that way is that it is all about you receiving the pleasure and sensation of the peach. This is what making love with someone should be like. Rather than focusing on what you’re doing to them, simply allow yourself to lose yourself in the pleasure you are receiving from being with them.
It’s pretty easy to do with a peach. You feel no obligation to the peach, you don’t care how the peach feels about you consuming it. It’s trickier to do with a person, most of us are concerned about how the other person is feeling about what we’re doing to or with them.
Strangely enough though, they’d enjoy themselves more if you got of your head and stopped thinking about them and instead simply let yourself go into the pleasure of the moment.
That’s why we started with a peach. Now, let’s add some technique, and see if you can still lose yourself.
We’re going to focus on your tongue. This part of your body is both fantastic at giving pleasure to another as well as transmitting pleasure back to you.
When applied to the body of another, your tongue provides exquisite pleasure to them, and in the touch of your tongue on your lover it transmits exquisite pleasure back to you. It does this best if you lose yourself in your tongue and the two-way transmission of pleasure.
So let’s practice this with an ice-cream.
Choose one that’s covered in hard chocolate.
Hold the ice-cream; look at the ice-cream; approach the ice-cream. Breathe on it gently. Savour the anticipation of the first touch of your tongue on the ice-cream.
Now practice the first of three strokes. The first is The Slurp. Run your tongue up the side of the ice-cream. Then up and up again over all sides of the ice-cream. Do it slowly, do it rapidly, do it firmly, do it barely touching.
Then practice The Swirl. Run your tongue around and around the ice-cream. Do it with the ice-cream in your mouth, do it with the ice-cream outside your mouth.
Combine the Slurp with the Swirl. Lose yourself in it. If it feels good, moan. Don’t worry if you sound like a bad actor in a porn movie. If it feels good do it.
Then practice Kitty Licks, little lapping moments with your tongue. Run your tongue up and down the ice-cream, flicking lightly, making little circles. Keep going over the top, combining with Swirls and Slurps.
Then, in the centre at the top of the ice-cream, enjoy kitty licking in one spot until you break through the chocolate to the ice-cream below. Keep going as the chocolate breaks further and you can lick and suck up the ice-cream beneath. Lose yourself even further as slabs of chocolate come off and you can lick, suck and bite. Let the ice-cream melt and drip and lick the drips as they fall off the end and run over your fingers and hands…
This is not as easy as it might sound. I’ve given this exercise to many clients and workshop participants, and it’s evident how hard people find it to lose themselves in pleasure, completely unself-consciouslessly. If it’s that hard with just an ice-cream, how much harder with an actual person.
So practice with an ice-cream, or a peach or a mango or a lolly-pop, until you can lose yourself, completely and utterly. Because that is what you’re aiming for in sex. Way before you worry about technique.