The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#165: Our Bodies Thrive on Pleasure

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, July 05, 2016

There are many aspects to becoming sexually empowered, whatever your gender, and one of the key elements is pleasure. And the thing about pleasure, is that it's not a nice-to-have or reward-if-you’re-good. In fact, our bodies thrive on pleasure...

Waking up in the morning to the sound of bird calls; the arousal of your senses as the scent of coffee brewing floods your nose; the burst of taste in your mouth with the first sip of tea or coffee; feeling the warmth of the sun or the crispness of cold air when you step outside…

These are some of the small pleasures we encounter every day, all day …

… if we are open to them.

Our bodies thrive on pleasure. When we experience pleasure we keep the happy hormones flowing. We feel calm, connected, in the flow, so life is good.

But so many of us busy, harried, stressed-out modern humans have lost touch with the ability to enjoy simple pleasures. So we go into a mad oscillation of stress and tension counteracted (or so we think) with intense “pleasures”, such as partying, porn, drugs, high-energy work-outs, entire tubs of triple choc ice-cream, or vegetating mindlessly in front the TV. We seek out pleasure through either zoning out or through hyper-intensity.

True pleasure though, is not about zoning out, it’s about being very present, very aware of sensual feeling; and it’s not about intensity, it’s about honing in to the exquisiteness of subtlety.

It’s like sex. Too many of us have lost the ability to feel subtle sexual pleasure, we feel it has to be intense or we don’t feel anything. But that approach to sex actually numbs us to true sexual, sensual pleasure, and requires ever more intense stimulation to feel any pleasure at all.

The more you develop your skill in experiencing subtle pleasure (yes, it is a skill), the more powerful the sensation will be. You’ll find that one mouthful of triple choc ice-cream will be a delight, a whole tub will be revolting; you will find the crassness of porn a turn-off in comparison to delightful connection with your real-life lover; a walk in the evening will be far more appealing than hours of mindless TV; you’d rather go hungry than eat fast food; you’ll get high on life and not need artificial stimulants.

Wake yourself up, physically and mentally, to true pleasures. Most of these are small, simple and subtle. They are also frequent. You’ll be healthier and you’ll be happier. These pleasures make you smile, you laugh freely and have an open, kind and generous spirit.

And sex, well, sex enters a whole new dimension of sensation…. 


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