The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#128: Does Size Really Matter?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Well guys, I’d be lying if I said size didn’t matter at all. The good news is that how you use it is much more important than how big it is.

As impressive as a 10” might be in all its erect glory, that alone will not bring female satisfaction. Fortunately for average to smaller guys, life is not a porn movie, and while a woman might gasp in shock at the sight of a mammoth member, she won’t be gasping in pleasure unless it’s wielded right.

To know what to do with it requires some understanding of female anatomy. Let’s start with the most sensitive spot of all, the clitoris. Now you don’t need a penis at all to bring a woman exquisite pleasure there, since it’s on the outside. So in terms of the most pleasurable spot of all, size really doesn’t matter, in fact having a penis doesn’t matter.

Knowing how to stimulate the clitoris is far more important to being a great lover than any number of penetration techniques, but since you’re a man and you do have a penis and no doubt are concerned how your size affects your performance, let’s look at what’s inside.

Moving on in, most of the nerve endings are actually in the outer third of the vagina, that’s the first inch or two closest to the entrance, so to get to the most sensitive parts of the vagina doesn’t require much length on the guy’s part at all.

Then there’s the g-spot. This is only half a finger’s length or so inside the vagina, so again you don’t need much length to get to it. Position is for more important than size to stimulate this little gem, in fact guys who are too big can lack the subtlety to hit it right (a bit like using a bulldozer to do a bobcat’s work).

Then there’s the area deep inside the vagina. Some women hate it deep, but for the most part if done with finesse, deep thrusts can be very pleasurable. Do you need to be huge though to achieve this though? It can be an advantage, but most women’s vaginas really aren’t that long, and again, judicious positioning of bodies is what really counts to gain deeper access and hit exquisite pleasure spots.

That’s the anatomy lesson done. So if it’s all about finesse, what do you need to know? Experiment with the type of thrusts, the speed and rhythm and the movement you use. Shallow thrusts will stimulate the really sensitive outer part of her vagina, so that’s good. Long deep thrusts going all the way in and out will stimulate the whole of the vagina, deep and shallow. Short deep thrusts are great too, that’s when you’re in deep but only move in and out a little, this stimulates her deep inside and because you’re grinding against her clitoris at the same time (when you’re face to face) her clitoris gets a great work-out too. If you do a deep thrust followed by shallow ones without withdrawing you create a vacuum inside that can feel great. Try things like starting shallow and going progressively deeper; or one shallow and one deep repeatedly; or seven shallow and one deep.

It’s not just about in and out though. Rotating your hips and really screwing your partner can feel sublime, and size doesn’t matter, in fact the smaller penis can feel better as it moves around more because with screwing you’re stimulating all around the walls of her vagina.

So guys, convinced? A good average 5-7” is more than adequate to perform all the above and really get your partner hot hot hot!

And if you’re smaller than that, all the above still applies. And here’s one final word to make the less endowed feel even better, I call it “small man’s revenge” – the smaller you are, the better the blow-job you receive! Seriously, your partner can do a lot more with it if it actually fits in her mouth!


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