The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#326: Fly on the Wall Friday - my new Video Series

- Sunday, August 22, 2021

What happens in a sex and relationship therapy clinic? What cases are discussed? What insights are uncovered?

Well, now you can be a 'fly on the wall' with my new video series - Fly on the Wall Friday!

In this series I reflect on cases I've seen through the week at the LoveLife Clinic and share insights from them, to inspire you in your own love life.

The first seven episodes in the series are:

1.  The Case of the Missing Partners

In episode one I compare two cases where two men were sent to me by their wives to 'fix' their sexual problems. The outcome was very different in each case, depending on the attitude of the wives...

2.  The Case of the Missing Libido

In episode two I discuss the case of one partner of a same-sex female couple who, like so many clients I see, had 'lost her libido'. In solving this case, we look at issues like: what is libido, how arousal does not equal desire, and the difference between spontaneous and responsive arousal.

3.  The Case of the Disembodied Clients

In episode three I discuss two cases of clients who weren't 'in their body' and therefore weren't engaged with their sexuality. In solving these cases we look at the two types of disconnection - being in your head and judging your body - and ways to become embodied.

4.  The Case of the Obligation Sex

In episode four I discuss two cases of clients who engaged sexually from obligation rather than from true desire. One case is a married woman who was engaging with her husband out of duty and the other was a woman who started a sexual encounter with a friend and then felt she couldn't back out part-way through. In solving these cases we look at how submitting to a sexual encounter if it's not truly what you are wanting is a type of sexual trauma. Of the fight, flight, freeze or befriend trauma responses, it's the last one, which is very common in sexual encounters. It's not dramatic trauma, but it is trauma, and often it is cumulative trauma.

5.  The Case of the Client who "Got It"

In episode five we look at the case of a client who after many months of working with me with her husband, came in one day saying she 'Got it!'. She realised what it is to be in touch with her sexuality, let go of the heavy weight of obligation and felt free to be herself! It's a great story

6.  The Case of the Clients who Created Time and Space for Intimacy

In episode six we look a case where a couple became intentional about their sexual intimacy and how they were able to purposefully create both the physical space and create the time for it.

7.  The Case of the Clients who Saw Each Other as Lovers

In episode seven we look at a case where a couple learned to override the brain's tendency to get complacent with well-known things - like a partner - and to see each other more intentionally. Not just as housemates and co-parents, but as lovers.

They are all fascinating and illuminating videos - so subscribe and watch them all on my YouTube Channel Jacqueline Hellyer


Listen to the audio version - the LoveLife Podcast!


Recent Posts

Earlier Posts



to LOVELIFE News for regular inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!

For more great sex advice -
read my books!