The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#89: Trust Your Body

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, January 13, 2014

We’re not brought up to have faith in our bodies these days. Pharmaceutical companies get rich by making us feel our bodies can’t heal themselves; fashion and beauty companies get rich by making us feel our bodies aren’t attractive enough.

While of course modern medicine is a wonderful thing, and looking good is great too, the problem is when we become dependant on these external agencies to make the judgement for us, rather than trusting out body to let us know what it needs.

The more in tune with your body you become the more you can trust it and the freer and more confidant you will feel.

This is essential for quality sex. Sex more than anything else requires you to let go and trust your body to feel and respond.

So you need to train your body in other parts of life to be able to trust itself, so you can bring that empowered connection and intuitive feeling into your lovemaking.

If you’re feeling unwell, tune in to what your body needs rather than automatically taking the painkillers or cold and flu tablets. If you’re depressed or anxious, really check in to what your body is telling you, rather than automatically taking anti-depressants.

If you want to get fit and healthy, trust your body as to the type of activity and intensity of activity that it needs. Don’t assume you have to be in agony to get fit. An intense workout may be more damaging than a long walk in a beautiful setting. To find out which is better - ask your body.

Before you spend a fortune on the latest fashion trend or cosmetic treatment, check in with your body to see if it really will make you look and feel better.

Once you’ve developed this strong body connection and can trust your body, then you’ll know whether the medications or activities or beauty treatments are going to be good for you. There’s nothing wrong with any of these things, they are all beneficial when used well.

As I so often say, it’s not what you do but how you do it. Where is the motivation coming from? If it’s from fear or lack of confidence or blind trust in authorities/media/whatever, then that’s a problem. If it’s a considered and conscious choice, that’s great.

So, back to sex: the more you trust your body, the more in tune with it you become, the better the sexual experience. Men become more connected to their penises, with less angst around ‘performance’, women become more aware of boundaries and improve their ability to let go and enjoy, and both become more able to sync in with each other. You get out of your head and into your body and the whole experience flows.


Listen to the audio version - the LoveLife Podcast!


Recent Posts

Earlier Posts



to LOVELIFE News for regular inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!

For more great sex advice -
read my books!