The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#60: You Can't Find Balance, You Have To Craft It

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, September 03, 2012

I’m a working mother of three, so life gets pretty busy! When you live a life like mine, you have to focus on balance. I'm constantly struggling with my mad innate urges to completely over-commit and take on too much (well, it is all so interesting and so necessary!). I, like many women out there, may be a super woman, but I am not Superwoman, and I have limits. There has to be a balance. And that balance has to be crafted.

We often say we need to 'find a balance'. But you can't find a balance, where do you suppose you'll find it, in the kitchen cupboard, back behind the Tupperware? No, you can't find balance, you have to craft it. You have to constantly be aware of the ebb and flow of life, stay in tune with your energies, and consciously craft an on-going state of balance.

It's pretty hard in our society which itself is so out of balance. The yang outweighs the yin; the masculine outweighs the feminine; the head outweighs the heart; the fiscal outweighs the ethical; work outweighs pleasure. The imbalances are everywhere.

So first we need to find the balance within, to become centered. This develops through presence, mindfulness and correct breathing. Not to mention good posture, diet, sleep and exercise. Then we need to harmonize with those close to us. This develops through open and honest communication, removing judgment, letting go of attachment and expectations, opening yourself to the energies of others and flowing with them.

This is what I teach in my workshops and retreats. While some 'technical' knowledge is helpful, when it comes to sex, intimacy and relationships, it's much more about 'how' you do things rather than 'what' you do.

It's much more about the 'being' than about the 'doing'.

I run Women’s Workshops throughout the year. The Workshops are all about embodying your sexuality, feeling positive and confident about yourself as a woman and expressing that from the inside out. This too is about balance, about being centered and calm and confident and being able to flow with what's in you and what's between you. Knowing your yin and yang elements, and being able to work with them to craft an empowered sexuality, a liberated sex life and a fulfilled life as a whole.

This approach manifests in my Couples Retreats too. Again it's all about coming from a centered place as individuals and coming together as equals, flowing with the complementarity of your yang and yin, masculine and feminine, commanding and receptive energies.

Examine your life. Find the imbalances and make new and better choices so that you can embrace a new equilibrium.

When you can do that, life, and sex, become truly awesome.


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