The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#211: Seven Sex Tips for Busy People

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, September 24, 2017

Life in the 21st century is fast paced, so fast paced that it’s easy to get caught up in all the busy-ness.

Busy isn’t bad, not if you’re relishing life as you busily experience it. But, and it’s a BIG but, if you let life carry you along on an endless wave of manic activity, then you won’t even notice you’re living, you won’t be enjoying it, and you won’t be making the time to savor all the wonderful things that life offers – including sex!

Wouldn’t you love sex to be a blissful haven away from all that frenetic stuff?
Wouldn’t you love to have sex that leaves you renewed and refreshed, that leaves you feeling fabulous?

Here are the seven fundamental sex tips to help you as a busy person have that blissful haven of fabulous sex. Read them, and, if they make sense to you and you want practical advice on how to use the Secrets in your life, buy and read my full book Sex Secrets for Busy People (don't worry, it's short - it's designed for busy people!)

Sex Tip Number 1: Sex is Energy

Why would a busy person bother to have sex anyway?
Because sex recharges you.
Have fantastic sex and you can hit the fray running.
People often moan to me about not having enough energy for sex, so they don’t do it (or at least, don’t do what it takes to make it good). Well, here’s the thing – good sex frees up your energy. So if you’re feeling depleted, have some sex and liberate your energy.
Instead of running on empty, run on full. Use sex to recharge yourself (and it’s a lot more fun than filling up at a petrol station!) We’ve all got access to this energy. It’s a matter of accessing it.

Sex Tip Number 2: Sex is Awareness

Sex happens from the inside out. It’s something you experience from within you. It’s an act of sensuality that you experience and gets better and better as you become more connected to your own sensuality.
All of us are born with an inner sensuality and an exquisite capacity for pleasure, but if you’ve been busy and exhausted for a long time you may have lost touch with your inner talent for feeling good.
You can reconnect again and so get more in touch with all your senses, heighten your sensuality and heighten your experience of sex.
Experience the sensuous spoon – take any spoon and just feel it, stroke it, fondle it.
And practice really and truly eating a peach.

Sex Tip Number 3: Sex is Attitude

Forget your genitals! Well, not entirely, but did you know that the neo-cortex is the most erotic part of our bodies? That’s the front part of the brain. It’s the part that animals don’t have, or don’t have much of. Other parts of our brain deal with the more instinctive sides of sex, reproduction and so forth. But the neocortex is special. It allows the sublimely human part of sex, the part that raises us above the animals and takes us closer to the angels. The neocortex provides us with the ability to think and imagine and fantasize and desire, to use our minds.
The bad news is that the ability our brains have to engage our imagination is the same ability that causes us embrace limiting beliefs that put so many blocks in the path of our enjoyment of sex.
The good news is that you can learn to make your fabulously human brain work to cut through all those worn-out, wet-blanket beliefs and limiting myths and misconceptions about sex and take on new, life-affirming, sex affirming beliefs.

Sex Tip Number 4: Sex is Part of the Rest of Your Life

The first three tips are all about how even as a busy person you can create the space in your heart, body and mind for sex. But it would all be theoretical and it will all stay in your heart, body and mind and go no further if you’re too frenetic, frenzied and frazzled in the rest of your life to even think about sex, let alone actually do it.
You have to make space in your life for sex.
You have to make time in your life for sex.
You need to learn how to make the space and time in your life to make sex happen, and that means learning how to be a little bit more organized so that you’ve got the structure in your life to allow that space and time to open up for you. It’s all about integrating sex in your life so that sex compliments and enhances the rest of your life.

Sex Tip Number 5: Sex is a Time and a Place

Once you’ve freed up some time and space in your life for sex, you have to create the moment.
This is about making the most of the time and space that you’ve freed up for sex. Turn your bedroom into a boudoir. Use your environment to do the work for you, let it get you in the mood.

Create the moment for sex. If you think sex ‘should’ be spontaneous, you’re probably putting up with mediocre sex (if you’re getting any at all) when with just a little more planning and effort you could be having brilliant sex.

Sex Tip Number 6: Sex is Intimacy

Now we’ve got your mind in the right space and we’ve got the space in your life. What’s missing? Your partner!
It (generally) takes two for sex and a certain kind of two to have fantastic sex.
It’s true that great sex between complete strangers has been known to happen, but it’s so much better to have fabulous sex with a partner you love. Extraordinary, energy-enriching, life-enriching sex requires genuine intimacy. That’s intimacy where two individuals come together with honesty and integrity, free of judgment and free of the need for validation from the other.
When you have this kind of genuine intimacy you can express your true eroticism.

Sex Tip Number 7: Sex is an Art

Sex might be natural, but GREAT sex is an Art.
Like any other art, the Fine Art of Sex takes understanding and practice to master. And like any fine art, the results can be sublime.

The Fine Art of Sex means merging genuine, unfused intimacy with erotic tension, then adding the final element of playful creativity. The result is endless masterpieces of awesome sex that generate an on-going level of energy to keep even the busiest of people going!

The Fine Art of Sex combines all the Sex Secrets – Energy, Awareness, Attitude, Integration, Environment and Intimacy into a creative whole.

Find out more. Read my book Sex Secrets for Busy People!


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