The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#15: Valuing the Feminine

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Photo by Lucas Pezeta from Pexels

Everyone has masculine and feminine in them. I prefer to use the terms Yin and Yang, as we have so much unhelpful meaning attached to the terms masculine and feminine. Well-developed people have a pretty good balance of both within themselves, they have both strength and softness, can protect and nurture. If we reject one, thinking the other is somehow better, we reject a major aspect of ourselves. When we reject our feminine side we become dominant and controlling, and when we reject our masculine side we become weak and dependent.

How can women embody this balance? How can we be empowered women, embracing our yin and our yang, our masculine and our feminine?  A concept I share, which a lot of women have said has been very helpful to them, is to think of  having our yin softness on the outside and yang strength on the inside. So you can trust your inner strength to allow the outer softness, your strength emanates out through softness. This is is so different to the way women had to be under the patriarchal systems that ruled for millenia, where women couldn't show their strength, and it's also different from what a lot of modern women do, where they create a false strength, a false yang,y on the outside, which is tiring to sustain, is brittle, and prevents their true power from being expressed.

So much of my work with women is essentially around this. It sounds esoteric, but once you get it, it makes such a difference at so many levels.

I want to stress that I am NOT talking about women being soft and weak and pathetic. That some people might think that’s what I’m talking about is just proof that our society devalues the feminine. It is strong to be soft. We need more of the feminine in this society. I cannot stress enough that both men and women need to embrace their feminine essence.

Then, with this internal balance, fully empowered, there is no limitation in how you express yourself as an indivdidual woman.

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