The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#103: Languid 69

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, September 30, 2014


Regular 69 can be pretty challenging, receiving and giving focused pleasure at the same time - aargh!

And if you’re still stuck in the belief that genital stimulation has to lead to orgasm, it's even worse - how can you orgasm when you’re distracted with giving the pleasure, or vice versa??

I’m more an exponent of Languid 69.

You still get the benefit of focusing on each other’s lovely genitals, without such intense simultaneous stimulation.

So lie together in your standard 69 position: top to toe, heads and hands at the level of each other’s pelvises.

Then take it in turns to focus on your partner. One receives while the other gives delectable oral pleasure. The receiver gives most of their attention to the receiving, while cupping their hands over their partner’s genitals, or playing with them lightly. Then, with ease and grace, you swap roles, with the focused giver becoming the focused receiver and the light giver becoming the light receiver.

What’s so lovely about this approach to oral sex is that it is languid. There is no on-going or increasing intensity (although there might be moments or periods of fervour). The aim is not to get the other off, simply to share delicious pleasure.

A gorgeous connection and flow of energy is maintained by the coupling between both lovers’ pelvises and heads or hands. Yet this continues in a non-distracting way, because the one giving the focused pleasure is not distracted by intense pleasure on their own genitals. The receiver of the focused pleasure only touches the other in a gentle way.

So there is more flow than in standard 69 and more connection than simply taking it in turns to go down on each other.

The flow from one to the other is natural, as the receiver of the focused pleasure moves their attention to greater focus on their partner, and they in turn lessen focus and receive.

This can go on for hours and hours.


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