The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#102: Sensual Non-Monogamy

Jacqueline Hellyer - Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I consider myself sexually monogamous, but sensually non-monogamous.

What I mean by that is that I keep my genitals to myself and my partner. For me that’s ‘sacred zone’ just for us. I have no desire to share that part of myself with anyone else.

But there’s so much more available to share and enjoy with others when you go beyond the genitals. As I say so often, sexuality is so much more than engaging our nether regions.

I have been called a sexual energy slut, and it’s probably true. I love to bathe in the sexual energy of others.

It gets quite Sapphic with women - holding the gaze while feeling the flow of energy between us; touching their soft skin so lightly; the gentle brush of feminine lip on lip. There is a sense of suffusion of feeling that then gathers more obviously into a sublime flow of sexual energy within and without.

With men the energy is different, stronger. I tend to feel it more directly in the lower chakras, from there it rises and diffuses throughout my body. The touch of a man, energetically or physically is masculine, and feeds my femininity.

It is far more a spiritual experience than physical. It has very little in common with mainstream views of what is ‘sexual’.

This is assuming those I share energy with are balanced in their yin and yang, are open to the sharing and merging of sexual energy. If there is a grasping energy behind it, anything sordid or sleazy, then there is no energetic opening, at least not a positive one.

The sharing of sensuality, of sexual energy, is done with openness, with great love, flow, depth, connection; and it feeds and enhances our sense of self and our personal growth.

Your sensual openness can be as much or as little as you and your partner feel comfortable with. And there’s a time and place of course. At times it will be simply admiring another person, feeling a connection as humans, simply knowing there is a sexual energetic connection that links us all. At other times it might involve touch, even kissing, depending on the situation and of course on what you have discussed and agreed with your partner. As with all aspects of sexuality that extends beyond the narrowly defined norms of our society, open-hearted honest communication between partners is essential to being able to live freely and safely.


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