The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#148: Peace, Pleasure and Goodwill to All

Jacqueline Hellyer - Thursday, December 17, 2015

Happy festive season! ’Tis the season for peace, pleasure and good will to all!

What’s this got to do with your love life?

Firstly - “’tis the season for peace”.

By peace I mean that inner stillness and calm that allows for presence. When you’ve got a head full of busyness it’s very hard to tune off and become still and present. You can still have pretty good sex, but it tends to be distracted, unconnected and therefore ultimately unsatisfying. So, during this time when most people have time off, focus on the peace, find the moments of quiet and tune into that. Then take that feeling into your lovemaking. It’s from that deep space that realness emerges and the sex can become whatever is real for you at the time, wild or tender or crazy as, whatever. The thing is that it’s real, it comes from within you, not some expectation or act imposed from outside.

Here’s something you can do to feel the peace. Christmas morning is the only time of the year when the country becomes peaceful. This is the one morning of the year when almost nothing is happening, when the energies are at their calmest. So go outside and notice that peace, feel how the energy of the place is different. Soak it up. Smile and breathe the feeling into your centre. With any luck you’ll feel a gorgeous tingle throughout your body and feel a connection to the broader universe.

Secondly – “‘tis the season for pleasure”.

Peace is the essence. From that, pleasure can flow unencumbered. Pure pleasure, which comes from allowing the crap to go and allowing feeling to flow freely through you. Too often we try and force pleasure by external means, eating chocolate, drinking and imbibing, watching porn, sex for sex sake - all of which are fine, if they come from within, but when applied from without, like a quick fix, they never satisfy, and you want more and more, all the time feeling increasingly dissatisfied.

So, to feel the pure pleasure, as you indulge this season (as I hope you will), do it consciously so that you appreciate the pleasure moment-by-moment. Whether it’s partying with friends, meals with family, gift giving and receiving, just enjoying the holiday, I invite you to really and truly know you’re doing it and appreciate what you’re doing and feel the joy and pleasure that comes with it.

Again, smile and breathe the feeling into your centre so you carry it with you. The more you do that in daily life, the better able you will be to do it during sex, and the more pleasure you will feel in and out of the bedroom.

Thirdly – “‘tis the season to spread goodwill to all.”

Well, as you’ve heard me say so many times, I reckon that if everyone in the world was feeling sexually empowered and having great sex, then the world would be a saner and happier place all round! As you become more consciously peaceful and pleasure seeking this season, notice how you feel more benevolent and connected to other people and the world in general. Again, goodwill is difficult if it’s an imposition, but when it’s a genuine expression from the real you, then it adds more and more to you own sense of experience and fulfillment in the world.

What better time to practice than at the end of the year!

So go forth and be peaceful and pleasure-filled – in yourself, in the bedroom and in the world!


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