The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#255: Own the Crone

Jacqueline Hellyer - Wednesday, May 01, 2019


1 May 2019

Today I am 55 years of age. It feels somehow special. I feel I’ve ‘arrived’ at a new stage somehow. I didn’t feel this when I turned 50, although that was significant too. Fifty-five feels strong, wise, powerful.

I woke up with the phrase 'Own the Crone' going through my mind.

It comes from the three classical stages of woman: maiden, mother and crone.

It’s the ‘maiden’, the young woman, who has been considered the most desirable, the most sexual in our society. We glorify youth, the beauty, the vibrancy of the young. That’s what’s considered sexually desirable.

The ‘mother’ phase of a woman’s life, well, this has been when she's considered the most ‘useful’ – as long as she had children of course, god forbid if she didn’t and remained a ‘spinster’. But was she sexual? Ah, no.

And as for the crone, that dried up older woman. What use was she? She’s past it, a post-menopausal has-been.

Hardly! I’ve never felt more confident, more capable, healthier or more sexually juiced up in my life! So, I’m coming out loud and proud about my age to be a beacon of inspiration for women of all ages.

I know I’ve reached this stage so hale and hearty of mind, body and soul because I’ve attended to all aspects of my being through all stages of my life. I’ve treated my body as a temple, got in touch with my emotions, developed my intellect and cultivated my spirituality. I’ve pursued purposeful work, had meaningful relationships and connected with nature. It has been an holistic, integrated approach to life.

And I’ve always sensed the importance of a quality sex life as part of that. Over the years my sexuality has changed, depending on whatever was going on in life. When I was young it was more straightforward and physical. When I had young children it was simpler and more tender. As I grew older and more adventurous I explored all types of more ‘exotic’ sexual experiences. And in more recent years it has evolved into experiences of the most beautiful depth and richness, experiences of extraordinary mindful, bodyful, soulfulness.

I do believe that when the Eastern traditions say that our sexual energy is transmuted into our life energy, they are right. Keeping our sexual energy flowing keeps our life energy flowing. Sexual energy is a pro-creative energy. Not just for creating new life in the form of children, but for creating our own life and everything in it, keeping us vibrant and creatively engaged with life.

No ‘anti-aging’ products or cosmetic surgery for me. I’m owning the crone!



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