The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#201: Make Sex Your Hobby

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, July 16, 2017

What is a hobby? According to the dictionary it’s “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure.” That sounds like sex to me!

We all know that it’s good for couples to have a mutual hobby - cooking, gardening, sport, travel, outdoor recreation, decorating, traveling, study. It gives us something to talk about, to experiment with and to enjoy together.

You’re being intimate anyway, so why not give your sex life the same focus and attention that you give any hobby?

When you acknowledge that sexual intimacy can be your mutual hobby,  you can approach it like any other hobby - enjoyably! There is enjoyment in the thinking about it, the planning, the discussing, the reflecting, the researching, and of course, in the doing.

It’s just as if, say, scuba diving were your mutual hobby. In that case you’d do courses together, set aside time to go diving, plan your dive trips, enjoy talking about the diving afterwards. You’d read books or blogs, listen to podcasts and watch videos about diving. You’d buy diving equipment and browse online diving websites to find out more. You’d have friends who were interested in diving too and you could enjoy talking with them about diving and share diving advice and experiences; you might even go diving together.

Now substitute the words ‘have sex’ or ‘be intimate’ for ‘dive’, and it’s pretty much the same. Obviously for most people, although not all, having sex is a private activity, so the ‘going diving with friends’ side of things might not apply - but you can still talk about it with them.

When sex is your hobby it becomes a normal part of life, and so much easier to talk about.

Then you'll find there’s so much to explore and experience…


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